


Wild Hearts.

by mythborne



Series: A saga of hearts..... [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Imprinting, Lemon, Other, Shameless Smut, Shapeshifting, Smut, Violence, Werewolves, bodily violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 83,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24737323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythborne/pseuds/mythborne
Summary: When is a monster not a monster?. Oh when you love it. But what do you do when you're a monster too, can you allow yourself to love someone that is made specifically just for you. Both from the darkness inside and way he burns you alive with his very touch. Or are you two wild hearts destined to beat separately, twin flames scorching everything in their path. Only together can you find a way to tame what's within, but can you truly tame wild.Skylar Ragnulf, cousin of Jacob Black knew what it was to have a beast raging inside of her, clamoring for blood. She had thought that Paul would be the one to tame the beast within, tame the wildness of her heart. But something happened that had her running from La Push, her fate took on a different path, and with her return comes different people.
Relationships: Bella Swan/Original Character(s), Paul Lahote/Original Female Character(s)
Series: A saga of hearts..... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796218
Comments: 31
Kudos: 26





	1. Handcuffs and choices.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- March -**

One of the many things Skylar Ragnulf couldn’t stand being -  _ was bored _ . She hated the way boredom crept up on you and left you itching for something that didn’t have a name. An urge that no matter how much you ate, drank, slept, or did something -  _ it never went away _ . It simply burned away under your skin, taunting you with its inability to be cured. So yeah to put it blindly she hated being bored and right now, on this oh so balmy Friday evening in March -  _ she was bored _ .

A sigh skirts over mismatched lips, the sound joined by the rattling of a steel chain as both sounds cut through the dense air that surrounded her. Whiskey eyes drip down to light on the offending object culpable for the previous sound. Eyes dancing over every curve and divot in unrelenting steel, up and over every link towards the end. Dissatisfaction bleeds into those whiskey eyes as she observes the curling of the chain and how it was wrapped around a steel rod -  _ a rod attached to the side of a cop car _ .

Her eyes drag backward, along the previous path she’d observed and closer still towards her own body. Her gaze lighting on the opposite end of the chain -  _ and the handcuffs they were attached to _ . The steel was cool against her overheated skin and a stark contrast to the toffee coloring of her skin pigment. The stark silver standing out, illuminated by the moon that teased its appearance around the usual clouds that haunted the small reservation of La Push almost permanently.

A flex of her hand brings her attention back to her toffee skin, and the blood tainting its appearance. In the moonlight it was easy to note the dry blood, clinging to her skin in a form of desperation as it soaked up the new tantalizing trickle that seemed to ooze almost boorishly from the still bleeding knuckle in the middle. The last cut that was yet to freeze with a crusted layer of blood,  _ trapping her much needed blood beneath her skin _ . The way the moonlight danced silver streaks over her skin, it was easy to pretend it was far more innocent than it was.

That she hadn’t just been beating on someone over an hour ago. A beating that had started so innocently, well innocent for her. She had been defending her friend. Stopping some jock from thinking that he was going to get lucky, but all too soon that familiar blood-lust had risen like a sirens call within her and  _ she crossed the point of no return with unabashed glee _ . Every fiber of her being enjoying the way grunts and acknowledgments of pain had flowed from the jocks mouth like a symphony. And more than that, she enjoyed the way his blood looked on her skin.

_ Her war wounds _ .

Dislodging her eyes from the collection of steel and blood wrapped in toffee, her head raises upwards, and whiskey eyes land on the house in front of her -  _ the dreaded red house _ . The small house that stood out like a shiny beacon amidst the green shrubbery of the surrounding trees and dirt and gravel path leading towards it could resemble a walk to the gallows with relative ease. It wasn’t much -  _ to someone who didn’t appreciate modesty _ \- the red paint was flaking and the windows were exceptionally narrow. But in La Push, it was a place of power, the home of Chief William ‘Billy’ Black and his son Jacob. A place where people came when they needed the chief’s help or when they simply wished for a shred of advice. No, the house might not look like much - but it held far more significance than most thought.

For Skylar, it held far more weight than simply being the house of her tribe’s chief.  _ It was the house within which her uncle lived _ . An uncle who right now was meeting with the owner of the cop car she was attached too - Chief Charlie Swan. Skylar had known the male since she was young, a familiar presence around her uncle and her mother both. When she was younger - Charlie’s chocolate eyes had shimmered with naught but familiar glee at her presence but as she grew older, as she gave in to the  _ craving for violence that swirled within her _ , that glee soon gave way to disappointment. The downturn of his lips hidden behind his mustache each time he cuffed her in unforgiving steel - but she knew it was there, she knew he was truly disappointed with her.  _ Disappointed with the girl he saw as a surrogate niece _ .

The slapping closure of a screen door has whiskey gaze zeroing on the porch, her eyes flaming over the surrogate uncle in question. And even from this distance, Skylar can see the downturn of his lips, his eyes flashing with the true edge of his disappointment and shoulders bowed under the weight of the conversation he’d just had. Skylar didn’t need to be inside the walls of the redhouse to know that right now her uncle would be working to conceal the frown on his features. Whilst his youngest sister Emmie,  _ Skylar’s mother _ , would be stood behind his chair, her wrinkling hand curling over his shoulder as she offered a silent show of strength towards her brother and chief. The strength needed to deal with Skylar’s current transgression. The words passed from Charlie’s lips having no doubt hurt and stressed out the two Black family members,  _ words that had been spoken many times before in varying forms _ .

The revelation of her current misdemeanor wasn’t too much of a surprising revelation - not in the grand scheme of things, as it was only last week that she was in a similar position. Though in that fight she’d not been alone, her partner in crime had caused most of the damage. And it had been the both of them cuffed -  _ awaiting the outcome of their Chief’s choice of punishment _ . Skylar guessed that was the only true blessing - that given she was the niece of the Quileute chief, Forks couldn’t really punish her too drastically. Yet she had turned eighteen the week before and with it came a change in routine, she could taste the potential of it on her tongue. And yet she still toyed with the fraying line between fun and punishment. Wondering how far she could push the tether of it, to tempt the palefaces of Forks to step forward and contain the  _ violent storm that was her blood lust _ . 

Yeah, Charlie controlled her police her rap sheet - _ which was quite long at this point _ \- but La Push was the place of her true punishment.

“ You ready Skye  **_?_ ** ” 

Charlie’s voice was almost as brisk as the cold air that was starting to seep into her skin as the night closed in around them. It weighed heavy with the sting of disappointment and Skylar fights of the cringe that wished to contort her young features. To keep the controlled mask on her features that  _ bordered the edge of indifferent and uncaring _ . A cocktail that worked to hide the true effect that such disappointment caused deep within the human side of her. The side that was slowly flaking away each time her blood-lust took hold and dragged her into its never-ending pit. A pit that when she was lost in -  _ she barely recognized herself _ .

“ Yeah, I’m ready – ” 

Her mask firmly in place she watches idly as Charlie removes her from her chained leash. She doesn’t meet his eyes and instead makes a show of rubbing her wrists to bring the circulation back to a flowing stream. She was procrastinating, prolonging the inevitable showdown that was about to happen inside the living room of her uncle's house. Skylar could already taste the dissatisfaction from where she stood bathed in the moonlight. It rolled over her like a stinging whip and she shuddered a breath out of her chest as she slowly drags her eyes away from the moon and back forwards - _ towards that blasted red house _ .

Shaking out her bones she takes the steps towards her doom, Charlie’s heavy steps echoing behind her and she really did feel like she was being walked to her own execution. The only noise to break the heavy silence being their steps and Charlie’s huffs of breath and for a moment  _ she clings to the desperate silence _ , allowing it to settle into her chest and fuel the mask on her face.

Charlie holds the door open and with the bare minimum of smiles in gratitude, she heads inside, eyes lighting on her uncle almost immediately. The look in his eye made her want to look away but she doesn’t, instead, she holds herself steady and returns his dark-eyed look with  _ her own dispassionate one _ . She snorts internally though as she notes that he and her mother were standing just like she predicted, right down to the way her mother's hand curled over his shoulder. It was uncanny of how she knew that - yet it was a picture-perfect example of how this was not her first rodeo.  _ Or her first ass-chewing lecture _ .

Without prompting she starts forward, her every move monitored by her mother as her uncle keeps his dark-eyed gaze locked on Skylar’s whiskey ones, daring her to look away and give him an advantage -  _ she doesn’t _ . She was too proud, too dominant to give her uncle the inch he wanted. It was bad enough what was about to happen anyway. Stopping just shy of arms-length in front of her Uncle’s wheelchair, she drops down, her knees meeting the cool linoleum floor as her hands settle on her thighs and head bows in submission. Exhaling a shaky breath along mismatched lips -  _ she waits _ .

“ Skylar Leone Ragnulf, how do you plead to the insinuation of assault delivered by Chief Swan  **_?_ ** ”

The one thing she hated about her Uncle’s voice - when he wished it, it carried a power that was hard to ignore. It wrapped like a cocoon around every syllable, stretched like caramel over honey and despite every argument you could have building in your throat, it was all silenced. He was their Chief,  _ and it showed _ . Maybe it was years of practice or something out of reach that fuelled his voice but either way in times like this, he knew how to inject the right amount of power to make even the most dominant person kneel -  _ Skylar included _ .

“ I plead  **_guilty_ ** – ” 

She doesn’t hesitate in her reply, she knew her uncle didn’t want her wasting his time and frankly, the faster she got out of this position. The happier she would be. Even if that meant throwing out clipped words of truth to simply get towards her punishment. Because really, her knees were starting to cramp and felt abso- _ fucking _ -lutely freezing.

“ Skylar – ” How her mother can convey so much disappointment in one sigh of her name was something only Emmie Black could do.  “ Why  **_?_ ** ”

She doesn’t answer, as she didn’t have the correct answer. Yes, she protected her friend, but it was this raging demon inside of her who took it too far. How was she supposed to tell them that the moment she’d seen him bleeding -  _ she wanted more _ . That everything inside of her craved to make the male hurt in the most glorious of ways. Tell them that she was an addict to the blood-lust inside. Lost in a craving she couldn’t understand but wanted more of every time.

There were no ways to tell them that.  _ So she stays silent _ .

Blessedly her uncle takes sympathy on her battered resolve and instead silences her mother with a simple raise of his hand. Her heated gaze soon leveled back on her, she can feel the weight of its gaze on the top of her bowed head and she bites down into the suckle flesh of her bottom lip harsh enough to cut skin. Her breath shakes in her chest as she forces an exhale out of her mouth,  _ stopping the abuse she was dealing out to her own flesh _ .

“ Look at me, Skylar  **_!_ ** ” Her uncle’s voice commanded and she complied.

She couldn’t read anything inside of those fathomless pits of darkness, it should bother her, how her punishment was still oh so far away, and here was her uncle simply staring as though she was some brand new toy. But she knew this ploy, he’d done it a thousand times in the past few weeks. Trying to break through the defenses she’d slowly started to build around herself. To break down this predatory need to be dominant that had slowly built up within her and threatened every relationship she had. 

_ It was annoying as shit _ .

“ This attitude can’t carry on – ”  _ Well no shit _ .  “ And if this does indeed carry on, I'm sorry but you will be immediately sent to your father. And will not be able to return to the tribe until you can prove you are no longer a threat to the people that live within it. ”

**_Well fuck_ ** .

If there was one way to punish someone like Skylar - that was the way to do it. Send her over a twenty-four-hour drive away to her father.  _ Colorado _ . It was a fun place to go in the summer and she enjoyed the ranch her father lived on but she sure as shit couldn’t live there permanently and leave behind everyone on the rez. Her uncle knew that which was why this blow was purposefully aimed low. He was willing to hurt her, and practically banishing her was how to do it.

The teenage response ‘ _ i'm an adult you can’t stop me _ ’, builds up in her throat but she tampers it down quickly - as he could. Given he was the Chief, he had far more power than her being an eighteen-year-old. So thus her gauntlet had been thrown - she either calmed the beast inside, or she ended up moving to Colorado. They were the only choices she had, the gauntlet had officially been thrown at her feet and it was up to her whether she stood and took it. Or she carried on the way she was.

_ Well, she wasn’t going to make any fucking promises _ . 

“ I understand. ” she put as much effort as she could into spitting those two words out of her mouth.  “ I accept my punishment. ”

She zones out the rest of the conversation as she barely listens to her stipulations - she knew her mother would remind her at every opportunity. Instead, she could feel congealed energy burning inside of her. She wanted off her knees and she wanted to run. To where she didn’t know but the sensation was building, her whole body burning with the need to simply run. This presents itself in the way she shoots to her feet the moment she can, her actions so quick she can see her uncle look at her twin, shock painted clearly in his dark eyes. A mumbled apology falling off her lips almost automatically. She did still have some manners, even if they were buried deep.

As she turns to follow her mother out, her eyes land on her younger cousin situated down the corridor, partially hidden by darkness and Skylar knew, he had just heard every part of her ass ripping and the subsequent punishment that awaited her should she act out again. His innocent face was drawn in anguish and Sky sent him a soft smile in reassurance that it was fine. She was a bitch with everyone -  _ but Jacob _ . He reminded her of her baby brother Sonny, and whilst the beast raged inside of her scrambling for something she couldn’t name, she would never show it to Jacob and Sonny. They were innocent and didn’t need to see it.  _ Or hear it _ \- but there was nothing Skylar could do to stop that damage now.

Either way, she would make sure that whatever this was inside of her, it never impacted those that had an innocence. And as Jacob’s sunny smile shines back at her through the darkness, she clings to it with an intensity that should have shocked her but she didn’t. Not anymore. Anything that even remotely innocent she clung to these days, _ ever since this darkness had started to swallow her whole _ .

A soft fluttering of her eyelashes against the curve of her cheek is the only indication of her plans as she moves, her feet carrying her down the dark corridor of her uncle’s house. Jacob for his credit senses her actions and just as her hands settle on his shoulder, his long arms wrap around her waist.  _ His head resting against her shoulder as she leans against him in turn _ . Her breath mingles into the long ebony hair on his shoulders as it escapes her like a ragged staccato. Yet she allows the solace of her younger cousin's arms to wash over her. Arms that demanded nothing from her and instead gave everything.

“ Love you Jakey. ” she mutters softly as he pulls back to meet his dark eyes.

“ Love you Lar-Lar. ” 

And that was alone to calm her, the beast still passed at the edges of her peripheral - waiting, slumbering. But his innocent words, forming the childhood nickname he and Sonny had given her was enough to wash her in peace.  _ If only for a moment _ . But still, she clings to it desperately. Allowing it to clamber and cling to her heart, the beating of it reminding her that she was human and once she was innocent, just like her cousin and her brother - innocent.

At that she turns and follows behind her mom almost robotically, her eyes downcast and she can barely note the tinge of her mother's boots five steps ahead of her. Her mind was whirling in a chaotic stream of words and actions that she was having trouble correlating into a singular train of thought -  _ and given she had an eidetic memory _ \- that was a shocker on its own. Her body was coiling like a snake waiting to strike and with a groan, she took off. Her feet propelling her into a run before the impulse had even finished crossing over her mind. The shouts of her name from her mother's lips drifted to nothing but background noise as her shoes hit noisily against the mud road.

She had one destination in mind and right now it was probably the only place she’d even find a small shred of peace. The beast would quiet enough to allow her to breathe - it always did when she was around ‘ _ him _ ’. And after the shitstorm of a day so far, it was exactly what she needed. Someone who was wholly on her side and would listen to whatever she wanted to bitch at -  _ or distract her if she wanted him too _ . But more than that, he understood the craving that resided under her skin, as he felt it too. Both of them so fucked up, so lost to something they didn’t know the name of.

Maybe she should have worried, worried that it was ‘him’ that had brought this out in her. God knows her mother thought that she could tell, but Skylar didn’t give a shit. Whatever it was, her anger, the blood-lust - that was all her. It was something that lived inside of her and she was the one who had let it loose. He was the one soothed it, brought it to heel in a way her Uncle wished he could. His monster matched hers, and that was all she cared about.

_ And right now it was all she wanted _ .

With mud caked to her shoes and the bottom of her jeans, she skids to a halt as her whiskey gaze lands on the house in front of her. It was located in one of the more neglected parts of La Push, a part even the council wouldn’t dare venture too even if someone pulled all their teeth. And the brown house in front of her showed the truth of that simple action, it’s brown boards looking worn and uninviting. The smallness was evident like most houses on the reservation -  _ two rooms, a living room, a small kitchen, and a modest bathroom _ . To most, it was enough, and yet the desperation and hatred seemed to burn from every nail keeping the tinbore roof attached.

A soft glow emits through the one singular window in the front, the awareness that at least someone was home. Someone Skylar didn’t want to see because she knew, the sight of that face would only stoke the fire linked to the beast inside -  _ it wasn’t him she was here to see _ . Slinking around the side of the house like a crazy wanderer in the night, she inches closer to the only other available window. A blight that showed the only other available room in the house. She smirks as she notes the window is open and with practiced ease, she jumps up the windowsill and slinks inside the entrance, her feet hitting the wooden floor wordlessly and within a few moments she’s pulled into a warm embrace.

The embrace of  _ Paul Lahote _ , and sure enough she can feel the beast settle down to slumber.


	2. To tame the trouble.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- March -**

She can remember the day the beast first reared its ugly head for the first time  _ almost three months ago _ , the first day she’d felt that unbridled rage that never seemed to be quenched no matter how much she fought. No matter how much she ate or drank, still it hungered and burned. She could remember the first day oh so clearly - because it was the first day that she ever made her younger brother scared of her. And that was something that she’d never be able to take back, no matter how much she tried.

It had been a simple day, the two of them simply arguing over whether Skylar was taking him to school or not and his joking had somehow wound her up tighter than a mechanical toy. A slow blink later and she had her hand wrapped around her brother's throat, his body pinned against their modest kitchen wall and fear blooming inside of his hazel eyes. It was a sight she would never forget -  _ not because of her eidetic memory _ \- but because of that fear in his eyes. He was her baby brother, thirteen years old and it was her job to protect him from the monsters. Not become one in his eyes.

Since then the beast had raged, had coiled itself around her very being and spurned on her every action. In the last three months she’d been permanently released from school meaning she will never graduate, she had been arrested by Charlie at least ten times but had been in far more fights than that. She had once been innocent, gentle, and loving but once the beast got hold of her, _ she had changed _ . She became something or someone that even she didn’t recognize in the mirror. 

Yet here in the arms of Paul, she can feel the beast lay down to slumber without so much as a coiling argument. The obsessive fire that burned with a need to cause violence simply tampered down till it was nothing more than a pilot flame blowing in the breeze. It was the only sanctuary she had in the storm that threatened to tear her apart and she clings to it like a child would its mother - _ all desperation and pure need _ . She gulps in his rich, decadent scent - the taste of pine lingering on the edges was like a life raft, pulling her from the abyss she slowly slid into every day.

“ Hey, babe. ” A simple greeting but she can taste the subtext buried below -  _ the questions he wasn’t asking _ \- laced within each syllable.

“ Hmm. ”

Idly she rubs her cheek across the coarse fabric of his shirt, her jaw brushing against the definition of his chest below. The gentle curve brushes absently over a body that had changed so drastically in the last few weeks, gone was the boy she had given herself too, in its place stood someone on the precipice of being a man. All taut muscle and unbridled power simmered from his every action. The other glaring change is the fire she can feel rising from his skin and soaking into her jaw from where she leaned against his chest.

The burning ensnared her in a toxic  _ mix of want and need _ .

A heated hand curls across the delicate expanse of her jaw, before continuing to the nape of her neck. She shifts them, head tilted all the way back to gaze upon his new height as her eyes are ensnared by his obsidian gaze, like starless midnight staring back at her. His eyes though are soft, his heated hand lulling her with its security.

There was a palpable need burning between them, it had been a few weeks since they were able to do this. Skylar had been forbidden to see Paul by her uncle because he was ‘ _ sick _ ’, something that had clenched deep in her gut and her beast had fed upon it. Twisting her need to know Paul was okay into something much more tangible, as though her very control crested on seeing him. And if the fight just a few short hours ago was anything to go by - without him she was an untamed wildfire,  _ willing to burn everything in front of her _ . Yet as she stood there, wrapped in his newfound heat and content for the first time in weeks, she didn’t care that she was being selfish. He was sick,  _ yet she needed him _ .

“ Feel better  **_?_ ** ” he asks with a devious lift to his eyebrow, daring her to lie to him.

She offers him a curt nod in reply, not trusting to speak right now. Instead, she continues to selfishly leech heat and peace from his body. Bringing her hands round from where they’d been locked against his back, she settles them over his chest. Her eyes were drawn magnetically to the way her bloodstained toffee stood out against the black shirt clinging tightly to his frame.

As though her hands were beacons, his own dark gaze drops to them, a frown creasing along his forehead as he notes the blood still clinging to the skin. Yet he doesn’t comment, and instead lifts his head back to hers, his lips curving into a lopsided smile as he lifts the other brow in silent question. ‘ _ Why didn’t you wait for me _ ’. It was an easy question to read, _ after all _ , he was her partner in crime when it came to fighting. Many times she had been locked in the back of Charlie’s cruiser with him beside her, both of them wearing war wounds from one fight or another.

“ You were sick – ” she drawls, amusement swirling within a whiskey glaze.

“ You’re  _ trouble _ . D’ya know that. ” His velvet bass seemed to slither up her back taking with it a chill that was sinfully delicious.

“ Yeah, but I’m your favorite kind of trouble. ” 

She watches,  _ with a practiced calm she didn’t feel _ , as she waits for her words to register. Her eidetic mind was able to conjure them with ease, reminding him of when he’d spoken them just three months ago. Well spoken was putting it lightly, more like he whispered them in her ear whilst he drove her over the precipice of release on the very bed she was standing near.

A dark chuckle sits between them as her words have the desired effect and before she can join in with her own, his lips press heatedly against the curve of her mismatched lips. The scorching intensity of his lips dragging a delectable hiss from her as she tilts her head,  _ her own heat starting to burn within _ . His teeth sinking into the fullness of her bottom lip has her mouth dropping over and like a starving man,  _ he devours every inch of her _ , the battle for dominance firmly over as he takes control.

As the need to breathe starts to clamor up her throat he pulls away, a soft smack sounding as he congeals back to his tall frame. A huff flutters across the top of her lips as she glares at him, not yet done with the desire he invoked within her. She craved more, craved what only he could give her.  _ Peace _ .

“ I have something for you – ” 

A brow hitches high on her forehead at the drastic change but uses the distance he puts between them to get herself under control. To reign back in some of the dominance he had all but stolen from her, a futile task she knew yet she still tries. Whilst she was more dominant, more untameable, with everyone else. With Paul, she easily submitted and didn’t care about that, after all he rewarded her for her submission in the best ways. But even her internal beast knew that Paul wouldn’t use that submission against her, he’d only allow it to flourish.

She watches as he leisurely strolls back to her,  _ his long braid whipping behind him like a tiger's tail _ , a piece of paper in his hand that he hands over. A soft noise of glee gathers in her throat as her eyes thirstily drink in the phoenix he had drawn. Like her, Paul had an eidetic memory and could remember everything, including the conversation she’d had a few weeks ago where she’d stated she wanted a phoenix tattooed on her back. And here in her hands, was just what she’d mentioned. As unlike her Paul had a talent for drawing, but they weren’t just pictures, he put soul and life into each picture with a talent she knew most artists only dreamed of having.  _ And for him it was natural _ .

Her bruised finger idly traces over the outline of a back -  _ hers _ \- and down across the mystical bird he had brought to life with nothing more than charcoal and his own mind. It was beautiful and she could already imagine the lines riding her toffee skin,  _ contorting with every shift of her back muscles _ . Her mind coaxed the picture forward of the fire riding not only her veins but also her skin and she hums in deep contentment as she slowly folds the picture, slipping it into the back pocket of her jeans.

“ You sure know how to spoil a girl. ” her voice a dark croon as her pupils yawn with desire.

Standing on her tiptoes, she brings her arms around his neck tightly, her hands bringing his head down to a more suitable height as she presses her lips heavily against his. Every inch of her lips painting her ‘ _ thank you _ ’ into his very soul with the softest of brushes. As his heated hands settle on her hips she groans softly, the intensity of her kiss only climbing higher as he returns it. Taking pity on her much smaller frame, his hands come to settle on the back of her thighs as he drags her slowly up his frame, every inch of her burning from where it was pinned against him.

Moving as though she weighed nothing, he crosses the small expanse of his room, her back hitting the covers of his bed only a few moments later. Her thighs automatically drop open to allow him access to her body as her arms remain locked behind his neck. From this advantage they were level, her dark whiskey gaze locked with his obsidian and she moans softly as she sees the intensity of his desire burning within those bottomless eyes. It had scared her at first,  _ the intensity in which Paul felt for her _ , but now that was the only thing stopping her from drowning in her own misery.

“ My uncle's threatening to send me to Colorado with my father if I get in one more fight – ” it wasn’t the right time for this conversation. But she had to tell him,  _ lest he hears it from someone else _ . 

“ And  **_?_ ** ” one word, laced with a cashmere undercurrent of warning -  _ to stop hiding things from him _ .

“ I won’t be able to return to the reservation until I can prove I’m no longer a threat. ” 

The words settle like lead between them and even Skylar isn’t blind to notice the way he seemed to grow rigid above her. Her hand automatically soothing along his neck and shoulders, as though she could bleed the tension away with her simple touch. For an annoyingly long minute, he remains immobile and silent above her -  _ so close that he could feel his heartbeat in a delectable dance with her own _ \- as he worked through the knowledge she had presented.

_ That if she didn’t tame the beast within _ \-  _ she was banished _ .

A soft curse is exhaled from his lips on a breath as he lowers his head to her shoulder, his heated breath skirting over the skin exposed by her shirt as she continues to trace idle patterns over his shoulders. The previous solace the two had found was shattered with the severity of her words. Her uncle never handed out a punishment like that lightly -  _ but she knew it for what it was _ . He was doing it because she was family, she was tainting the ‘ **_Black_ ** ’ family name by acting the way she was. And being Chief, he couldn’t afford to have an out of control niece.

_ She wasn’t good for his vanity _ . 

“ Your uncle is an asshole  **_!_ ** ” whilst the anger was evident in each word, the words rolled over her skin like dark chocolate -  _ decadent and sweet _ . 

“ Yeah – ” she murmurs distractedly, her hips rolling idly and brushing sweet friction against her heated center through her jeans and causing a curse to brush along his exhale of breath. “ Guess I'm too much trouble for him to handle. ” 

His head raises dragging entrails of his silken ebony hair across her cheek, her eyes are drawn to the curve of his lip as it hitches up in a private smirk. “ Then it’s a good thing I know how to tame trouble – ” 

Before she can even question what he meant, he rolls his hips pointedly against her heated center, the friction of her jeans causing a desire to burn a fiery path through her skin like napalm. The desire from before coming back with a vengeance and swallowing her whole.

“ We’re lost in fucking crazy – ” she hisses as her nails dig into the delectable muscle of his shoulders, a sniffed laugh the only sound from the male above her.

“ I’ll be your guide through the crazy.  _ Trouble _ . ”

She laughs at Paul’s veiled attempt at humor given their current predicament, her deft fingers pulling on his braid and bringing him closer. Her mismatched lips securing over his to shut up any more stupid sayings that he dared to release and continue the current conversation,  _ when her mind was securely set on other ventures _ . But the kicker was whilst he’d breathed those words in jest, she could feel the unbridled power ringing out through every syllable,  _ like a vow _ . Oh, he’d be her guide indeed, his fists carving her the path through it all, and all she had to do was ask. Ask him to unleash the monster that was a perfect mirror image of the one that brewed beneath her own breast.

_ And he’d do it all without question _ .

It was a weight she didn’t want to think about just yet, her beast far too sated to even care about the words that had just been spoken. _ And as though knowing just what she wanted _ , Paul once more rolls his hips against her, causing all fleeting thought to escape her on a deep exhaled moan. Hands trail down his back to grip his shirt and with delicate movements, hiding the true depths of her need, she drags it slowly up his skin. Her every nerve on fire.

It was though her very body was a combustible pile of tinder, his hands the flames as each sensation stoked an inferno that was crackling deep inside of her, devouring her every thought, as the flames licked and charred everything in its wake. Leaving only her and Paul, burning together in the middle.  _ Two beasts together _ . She blinks rapidly as she feels a gentle breeze against her chest and notes idly that her shirt was now bunched under her chin and Paul’s lips were ghosting a trail along the newly exposed skin.

Her legs wrap tightly around his hips as he rhythmically thrusts against her, amping her desire to new heights which each brush of his hips against her jeans. With trembling hands she rips the shirt the rest of the way off, her back arched as she lazily watches him ghost across her skin,  _ her lids feeling heavy with desire _ .

From that moment she stops thinking and instead allows herself to enjoy the feelings he was pulling from her with ease, like a puppet master.  _ Her very being craving to be close to him _ , as though she could climb out of her skin and climb deep within his.

“ Oh god.  _ Please _ . ”

She isn’t ashamed of the plea that fell off her lips so easily, his answering chuckle ghosts over her ribs as he delicately maps a sinful trail over her skin. Before he raises his head, fingers deftly undoing the front clasp of her bra and with a singular hitch of his lips, he descends once more. His heated mouth wrapping around the raised pebble of her nipple has her throwing her head back, a loud moan breaking free from it’s  _ cage behind her teeth _ .

Her hands grip to his hair tightly, fingers winding the long braid around her fist as she pulls, a warning to stop playing with her. And for once he seems to listen, his fingers popping the button of her jeans before he yanks them down her long legs along with her panties, the breeze of his room washing over her heated skin in the most delectable way.

Soon chilled skin is warmed by heated hands as he drags his palms up and over her legs, fingers pressing into the skin of her thighs as they once more fall open, allowing him purchase against her heated core. She isn’t sure when he shucked his own clothes but she finds she doesn’t care. Instead, her fingers begin to slowly drag over the new canvas before her. Fingers mapping the indents of pure muscle, each one rolling as her fingers map.  _ Every idle brush of her fingers met by his own wandering hands _ .

A hum of scintillating pleasure laces her moan as she feels his fingers brush over the sensitive bundle of nerves, the shockwave washing up and over her body as she arches her back, head was thrown back wildly against his pillows.

“ Shit babe ... ”

His dark croon was like velvet washing over her skin and she groans as he once more descends on a nipple, his teeth torturous as they gently bite down. Her legs come up to frame his hips, heels pressed firmly in the toned muscle of his ass as soft pleas fall off her lips like a mantra.  _ He was going to drive her insane _ . A small voice in the back of her mind tries to remind her that she was being selfish -  _ Paul was sick _ \- and yet as she feels the pressure of him between her legs, she finds it easy to mute it.

_ She was being selfish and she didn’t care _ .

And from the way he was rolling his hips so deliciously against her, the tip of his length barely pressing against where she wanted him most -  _ she knew he didn’t care either _ . An impatient roll of her hips brings them even closer, a scowl settling on her face at a heated chuckle reverberates in her ear but finally, he takes mercy on her and with a single thrust, he is sheathed completely in her heat. His weight held

A muddled mantra of words falls off her lips and whispers across his skin as they finally move, she meets him thrust for thrust, her blunt nails digging into the skin of his bicep as she allows the desire to swallow her whole. To allow Paul to draw her higher and higher towards the precipice of true release, a release only found within his arms,  _ under the ministrations of his body _ .

Every motion of their bodies moving together drags her closer and closer to the edge of release, her body amping higher and higher under Paul’s control. Her submission is completely in his hands and she’s rewarded for it all. Yet she feels the tremors passing over his skin, vibrating deep within her bones. Her eyes locking on him clearly as she notes exhaustion starts to dance over his muscles. Hooking her leg around his calf, she shifts them till he’s on his back. Her hands settle on her chest as her knees fall either side of his narrow hips.

Whiskey eyes regard him,  _ watching each little emotion tick over his face _ . And in his moment, her eyes hooded with desire, she can pretend that everything was as it was, that things weren’t slowly changing and spinning out of control. That they were simply two people, chasing their releases and losing themselves in the feeling of being as one. A release that soon comes crashing upon her, as her hips steadily rise and fall, his hips bucking beneath her to match her every movement as the sweet bliss soon comes forward. His name leaving her lips in a scream, one  _ she didn’t care who the fuck heard it _ . Her breathing labored as Paul grips her hips tightly, angling her body to ride out her orgasm and bring his own crashing upon them.

A soft hum flutters off her lips as she collapses on Paul’s chest, her long ebony hair spread out around them like a dark halo as she works to calm her breathing. To relish in the peace and feeling of being truly sated. Every part of her satiated in a way she’d been lacking for the last few weeks. She could still feel her beast, coiled in the corner and its power burning through her muscles. But this was the first time she didn’t feel like she’d been injected with a volatile mix of adrenaline and speed. And for that, she was going to relish in the feeling -  _ relish in the feeling of just being _ .

“ Love you ... ” she murmurs sleepily into the flesh above his heart.

“ Love you too, trouble. I’m always here.  _ Always _ . ”

Something deep in her gut didn’t believe him, the beast telling her that soon those words would be exposed as lies. But for now, in the solace of sleep, she ignores them.  _ That was a fight for another day _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_A / N : Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- so how am I doing so far?!?!. Let me know, please and thank you. Your support means so much. Also, what do you think of Skylar - any hints about what's happening with her and Paul?


	3. Tattoos, good friends, and wolves.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- April -**

A grunt escapes her lips as hands clench tighter into fists, blunt nails digging into the skin of her palm to the point  _ she can feel her skin start to break from the pressure _ . Exhaling deeply she returns her eyes forward, whiskey gaze landing on the wall in front of her, decorated heavily with different designs and images. Her eyes had drunk them all in, traced every curve and line in the last three hours she’d been seated in the tattooist’s chair.

She can feel her skin blossoming in pain with each swipe of the tattooist’s skilled hands, her skin transforming from the previously blank toffee canvas to one that now housed a phoenix coiling its self around her frame. She could pull forth the image of the phoenix with ease, trace each curve of its majestic form with her eyes but this was the first time  _ she would be seeing it on her skin _ .

It had been three weeks since Paul had given her the gift and it had taken her that long to act on the want to have it upon her skin. The morning after she’d snuck to Paul’s,  _ her mother grounded her _ , and whilst normally Skylar would have jovially laughed that off. She had to admit her mother had concocted one hell of a plan  _ to keep her locked in this time _ .

She had arranged for Harry Clearwater to block off Skylar’s bedroom window, as well as to  _ change all the locks _ . Charlie Swan gave over a silent alarm that tripped whenever Sky opened her bedroom door so no matter how hard she tried, she was banished to the two weeks suspension inside the house. Two weeks of feeling as though her sanity was slowly dripping away from her, leaving nothing but the war-torn remnants of her soul behind.

The beast inside of her had spent those two weeks pacing, gnashing against the cage she wound it inside, and every day she had to fight to keep her control. To stop herself from lashing out once more at her family. Instead, she punched the walls of her bedroom, watching as the plaster and wood fluttered to the floor like  _ mirror shards _ . It was poetic she guessed, the remnants of her bedroom wall were just as ragged and broken as she was.

The only good thing that had come from her time in seclusion was the chance to write her varying forms of media. All her frustrations pouring out of her fingers as she created a world in which there was no pain,  _ no anger _ , and no broken souls searching for solace that only came through violence. Dragging the entrails of her soul with every strike of her pen was releasing, giving her some small room to breathe.

When stories became too real, too brutally close to the maelstrom inside she switched it up and instead worked on her music. Since she was a child she’d found a knack for creating music, from varying pieces of classical all the way to jazz. All of it forming from her own emotions and spelling out the way she was feeling at each time. The chords resonating deep within her and bleeding out hauntingly for all her to hear.

_ But her solace never lasted long _ .

By the end of the second week, she honestly thought she had lost all shred of sanity, her mind churning with every little thing she had ever witnessed. Playing it all out like some macabre play that only she was witness too.  _ It was fucking annoying _ . So the moment her mother told her, that her punishment was at an end, she didn’t even hesitate as she bolted out the front door.

Her feet slamming in a rhythmic patter against the mud roads of La Push as she ran. She didn’t have a destination in mind, she simply needed to feel something, _ anything _ , that wasn’t associated with the four walls she’d been trapped inside. Her feet carried her down the less populated areas of La Push as she simple reveled in the freedom that had been granted to her,  _ she really fucking hated being grounded _ .

Yet as she’d ran towards the boundary separating the road from the shore of third beach, she found her heart slamming into her chest erratically. For before her stood Paul,  _ and yet she could already tell the Paul she knew was no more _ . The changes she’d noted only a fortnight ago were now more profound, gone was his long braid and in its place was a short-cropped hair cut that outlined the dark and decadent features of his face. He no longer looked like an eighteen-year-old, now he was all fine edges and  _ hard lines of a man _ .

Beside him was Sam Uley and Jared Cameron, two boys whose names had been on everyone’s lips due to their drastic changes and the way in which they walked around the town. Skylar had seen them sporadically over the last few weeks,  _ watching Paul _ , Sam having a look in his eye that Skylar was honestly scared to see. And now, now Paul was a part of their little gang.

Foolishly as she’d stood there, fresh from her grounding she’d wanted to pretend that everything was okay. That it was still the way it had been before she was put on house arrest. _ But she wasn’t a fucking idiot _ , everything had changed, and whilst it made no fucking sense. It was just something Skylar was going to have to get used too. A sigh of resignation had fluttered off her lips,  _ even as the beast inside of her roared its protest _ . She was craving to hurt something, to make it bleed.

As though hearing the maelstrom from where he stood beside his new friends,  _ Paul’s head had lifted _ . A slow blink was the only reaction Skylar had as their eyes met across the vast distance. Her body growing taut and wooden beneath his intense gaze,  _ a gaze that was threatening to swallow her whole _ . And then she felt it, the beast within her once more roaring it’s disagreement to the situation. Agitation burning through her and she turns and takes off running once more.

For the next week,  _ she avoided him _ , employed her brother in returning his belongings, and simply went about her business. She couldn’t pretend that anything had truly changed with her, she was still the volatile and violent person she had been for near four months. Only  _ four days ago _ she’d managed to escape being arrested for once more fighting, this time breaking someone’s jaw in a way she knew was not an easy fix. The beast inside purring in relish at watching the skin bloom in purple and red.

_ She had lost her tether to control _ .

Which was what found her here, under the talented hands of a tattooist as he elicited grunts of pain from her lips like a well-played fiddle.  _ Yet the pain of the tattoo was enough to calm the beast _ , to focus her mind on something other than the sheer need she had building inside of her. She could still feel it, the way her body thrummed and crackled as though she’d inhaled an equine dosage of steroids and speed, yet she had a fulfilling but  _ temporary distraction _ .

Lest her mind once more travel to  _ Paul _ .

Even in her mind, she had to twist his name into  _ something sardonic _ . The beast inside of her craving to make him bleed, to make him hurt the way she now hurt for being abandoned. No, it was far safer that she didn’t think about him at all, reminisce about the _ pleasure _ he could pull from her body, the  _ love _ that he’d carved on her heart. He was a decadent and sinful memory that was better left in the past. As far away from her as she could get.

She’d witnessed yesterday the longing looks the three males had shot towards Embry Call. She’d been stood with her cousin, Embry, and their other friend Quil. A pure need had rested in dark eyes and Skylar had the insane need to protect the three boys from the man she thought she knew. Her beast transitioning from raw violence to a pure and uncontrollable nurturing that had left her head swimming. It had scared her,  _ yet had felt so right at the same time _ .

A soft nudge of fingers to her shoulder breaks her from wandering musings and she groans in relief as she slips from the chair she’s grown numb within, her whole body cracking as she stretches. Her skin pulling taut on her back and pulling one more hiss of displeasure from her lips before she pads over to the floor-length mirror she had spotted as she’d first sat down. With a swift shift of her hips, she turns and stares into the mirror the tattooist was now holding.  _ And there, there she sees the best sight she had ever seen _ .

The phoenix stood out perfectly against her toffee skin, the reds and yellows looking as though the fire had coiled up and over her skin. Her back muscles roll under the majestic beast and she purrs in satisfaction as the bird gives off the illusion that it was shimmering upon her skin. Even the sight of the red and blotchy skin surrounding the tattoo could  _ deter her from its beaut _ y. And as she levels whiskey eyes on the tattooist responsible, she knows her gratitude was  _ there like an open book _ that even a stranger could read.

Slipping her shirt on, gratitude swirling inside that it was backless, she muddles through the routine of paying and listening to the aftercare notices before strolling out the shop. Her steps are almost reminiscent of the innocent teen she’d once been, light and carefree. Climbing into the bed of her truck and making sure to not lean too far back she makes her way through the streets of Port Angeles and back onto the roads of La Push. The sounds of classic rock the only soundtrack as she works to clear her mind.

The drive works to remove the lingering emotions left behind by her wandering musings whilst in the tattoo shop and as she drives down the streets of La Push, she can pretend for a moment that she’s a normal teenager. Something that lasts all of five minutes as she watches Sam and Paul stood on the side of the road -  _ near Embry’s house _ .

_ A loud growl rips its way free of her lips _ and she watches with sick fascination as Sam whirls around to look at her as she passes, her whiskey eyes locked on his black ones as her lips peel back in a feral snarl. Whilst she was unsure of why she had become so protective of Embry,  _ she found it wasn’t unwarranted _ . She’d known that kid since he was young, since the moment he became friends with her cousin.

The anger at seeing them there lasts as she continues driving down the roads and as she pulls into the Clearwaters driveway she can still feel the remnants of _ her anger crackling over her skin _ . Fueling her movements as she throws herself out the truck and stalks up the porch. With a brisk knock, she lets herself inside, dragging in a calming breath through her teeth as she stares at the floor whilst slipping off her muddied shoes.

“ Skye, you’re here. We thought you’d gotten lost. ”

Head snaps up at once and she takes note of the native walking towards her,  _ Emily Young _ , it was rare she came down from the Makah reservation and Skylar loved the times that she did. She had known Emily for about five years, due to her cousin  _ Leah Clearwater _ . She had grown up with Leah, their parents were best friends and as such, they were just as much like cousins as Leah and Emily were.

“ Please, tell me we have alcohol  **?** ” her words sounding like a petulant grumble as the other woman pulls her in for a sharp hug.

Her beast still raged in her peripheral but she ignores it as she wraps her friend up in a hug. The soft scent of vanilla drifts through her senses as she buries her head in Emily’s shoulder. Using the woman’s quiet strength to steady herself. Skylar was the youngest of the three by  _ two years _ , and yet right now she was the most  _ volatile _ . She even outdid Leah who in the last few weeks had become temperamental and outright scary when she was angry.

_ Yet Skylar was still worse _ .

“ Of course there is alcohol, what do you take me for Ragnulf  **?** ” the voice of Leah sounds as she enters the entranceway, her hands holding two large bottles that even from here Skylar can tell are filled with whiskey.

“ See this is why I hang out with you – ” she drawls as she moves forward. “ Free booze. ”

She embraces Leah, hissing as the woman’s hands touch the tattoo but she soon ignores it as she follows her two friends into the vast living room of the Clearwater house. It was modest in its shape and yet within the four walls it was easy to note the love that was shared within. From the varying family photo’s that scattered the various walls and flat surfaces. To the Quileute native decorations that proudly showed off the heritage of those living beneath its roof.

She drops down heavily on the worn couch, her feet tucked under her as she takes a long draw from the bottle. The whiskey burning a deliriously satisfying path down her throat. Smacking her lips she tunes into the conversation the cousins were having - and finding without much surprise - that it was about the male that she’d just sneered at.

_ Sam Uley _ .

“ Is the asshole still lying to you  **_?_ ** ” 

Her words are injected with the venom she felt towards the male, not just because of his current stalker tendencies -  _ or the fact Paul was with him _ \- but also because of his treatment of Leah. The whole reservation had been on alert when Sam had gone missing, but none more so than Leah. Her grief had been so palpable it was as though it blanketed the whole reservation, everyone feeling the  _ grief of a lost son _ .

And then he came back, and whilst most rejoiced it was easy to see he had changed. But no one felt the brutality of his changes like Leah. He had taken their relationship and crumbled it to dust with words no one wished to hear, stamping all over Leah’s heart with a disdain that curled Skylar’s gut. It would have been okay if he gave a reason,  _ yet he didn’t _ . Instead, he chose to act as though Leah was unworthy, as though she didn’t deserve them.

_ He was a male chauvinistic pig _ .

“ Yep. ” Leah grumbles popping the ‘P’ as she leans back against the couch near Skylar’s feet. “ But this time, the asshole had Paul tell me that he didn’t want to see me. Which is hilarious given ya know,  _ Paul’s avoiding you too _ . ” 

Skylar hums softly before taking another long pull off the alcohol, she couldn’t fault Leah for bringing up Paul. But she didn’t want to hear his name, even if her back was thrumming in a  _ delicious pulse of pain _ . She didn’t want to hear his name, nor allow her thoughts to stray towards him.

“ So what did you say  **?** ” Emily voices breaking the tedium of anger that had settled between the two Quileutes,  _ god bless Emily _ .

“ I basically said that ungrateful ass should come here and tell me himself or I will continue to fucking demand my answers. ” 

Despite the fact Skylar was only paying the bare minimum of attention to the conversation, even she doesn’t miss the hidden innuendo within those words. Clarity glaring clear as day as to why she and Emily were even there, why Leah had called on them for ‘support’. It wasn’t friendly support so she could bitch about Sam, it was support whilst the man in question was there.

“ So that’s why we’re here. ” her words a honeyed bass tainted with the inexplicable taste of anger as she levels her whiskey eyes back on Leah. A brow hitching in a silent challenge and daring the other to disagree. “  _ We’re cannon fodder for the argument _ . ” 

Leah for all her issues had the good grace to look guilty and despite this, Skylar could feel her beast rear up, salivating at the potential confrontation drawing ever nearer. The desire to see the male bleed was burning within her, making her hands itch and her whole body crackle with energy. Subconsciously she notes her knees jostling, raw energy stopping her from sitting still.

God,  _ she was a mess _ .

The conversation drags on around her, her body working against her as she fights to stay still on the couch. The alcohol no longer having the numbing effect she was craving and  _ yet she keeps drinking _ , anything to distract her from what she was feeling. Not even the subtle looks of worry from Leah and Emily could sway her from how she was acting.

As a brisk knock sounds at the door it takes every shred of restraint she has to stay planted on the couch, instead, her whiskey eyes track Leah as she barrels over to answer it. The brisk bass of Sam’s voice is like  _ a match to kerosene _ and she can feel the anger rushing through her, the sheer need to make the other hurt. Heer gaze hardening as it levels on the male, her lip pulling back across her teeth in a feral snarl -  _ a twin to the one she’d already given him _ \- as she watches him enter the small house.

“ Emily – ” Sam drawls, his eyes widening slightly as they lock with Skylar’s, yet soon his mask of indifference is back in place. “ Skylar. ” 

Her head jerks slightly in faux greeting, her fingers tightening enough the neck of the bottle and for a moment she’s almost positive she can  _ hear the glass groan in disagreement. _ But she ignores it as her whole attention is drawn to the conversation before her -  _ like a trainwreck waiting for the crash _ \- she was hanging on every fucking word. Waiting for any kind of opening, any reason she could step in and make Sam hurt.

Congealing to a standing position she nudges Emily into the kitchen as she comes to stand at Leah’s side, her hand wrapping around the other woman’s bicep, in a warning or in comfort Skylar wasn’t too sure, yet her eyes burn into Sam, as though she could imprint all her hatred of him via a single gaze. His heavy gaze looks at her once more, anger tainting the brown irises and turning them black.

“ This doesn’t involve you, Skye. Back off – ” 

His words felt like they were tainted with a command as they washed over her, she could feel it burning into her skin. Threatening to take hold of her,  _ and yet she doesn’t listen _ . Something inside of her fighting against him, demanding that she didn’t bow to him. That she made him bow instead. It was a primal feeling and somewhere deep down she finds herself scared of the intensity of it,  _ yet on the surface _ , she relished in the feeling. Her eyes darkening as her anger takes hold, her fist clenching tightly at her side and for the second time that day, she can feel her nails threatening to tear the skin of her palm.

“ No  **!** ” a single word, clipped around a growl, with a sick satisfaction building within as she watches surprise bloom on the male’s face.

Using her hand still clenched around Leah’s bicep -  _ a grip so harsh she wouldn’t be surprised if she was bruised tomorrow _ \- she yanks the other back. Placing her firmly behind her as she stares, challenging Sam to make a move. Leah not seeming to grasp  _ the silent showdown  _ between the two people in front of her continues to argue, her words growing harsher by the minute. And yet it’s one sentence, a catalyst that even Skylar could see coming.

_ But she could never have predicted what happened next _ .

As though witnessing it from outside of her body, she watches as Sam’s body begins to shake, his form blurring at the edges from the intensity. Leah’s harsh words about his father -  _ the ever loveling Joshua Uley _ \- only seeming to add more kindling to the fire. She watches in morbid fascination as soon the form of a male gives way to an animal, where golden skin had once been, now resided the blackest fur, the shimmer of it slowly stealing all light from the room.

_ Moving almost on instinct _ , she turns to push Leah out the way, her lips peeling back in a loud scream as she feels the red hot sensation of skin tearing pulse through her body. Collapsing to the floor, her hands hitting harshly and causing more pain to rush up to her wrists, she looks over her shoulder to see the large looming form of the wolf, her eyes continuing downwards to _ assess the damage _ .

Her eyes take in the blood pooling across her stomach and beginning to stain the carpet beneath her, the long shredded tears in her shirt that were now clinging desperately to the jagged edges of torn skin. Bringing whiskey eyes back to the luminescent ones of the wolf she can see sorrow swimming within them, her internal beast raging as she notes the emotion - the beast wanting her to stand back up, to cause pain to the one that had hurt her.

Yet she stays where she is, blood collecting around her. As her human emotions finally flutter through, the emotions breaking through the haze of bloodlust and anger of her beast. The taste of them simmering on her tongue and she hears the unmistakable sound of a sob filter the room. Her sobs. For the first time, she gives in to her emotions willingly as she hears the voice of Sam ring out in the room once more.

_ She gives in to her fear _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note** : Soooo fair warning, Emily will **_NOT_** be Sam’s imprint in this, as this story is going to be birthing another one I have planned - which will have the pairing of _Sam / Bella_. So yeah, don’t shout at me for it not having that imprint happen. There is a good reason.
> 
> So how is the story so far. Also pretty sure this is the longest chap so far. But you’ll find with this, the lengths vary depending on what is happening in the chap - some will be long, others will be short. So be warned. Also don’t worry the angst is only just beginning, this chapter just birthed it. I promise. So buckle in, things are about to become very wild indeed. As well it is me that’s writing this.
> 
> _As always reviews are love and highly appreciated_


	4. A wolf or a bear.

**\- Forks, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- April -**

Three things become  _ obnoxiously apparent  _ as slowly she starts to wake up. First, there was a smell of bleach and disinfectant which told her she was in a hospital -  _ she had always hated the smell _ \- which meant that what had happened wasn’t a dream. Despite how hard she was clinging to the hope that it was. Even behind her lids, she can easily picture everything that had gone down. Her eidetic memory working against her as it forces her to relive the nightmare her life had just become.

Secondly, beside her head was an overtly obnoxious beeping which confirmed the fact she was in a hospital. As it was only within them did she hear that noise and be filled with the sheer urge to commit criminal damage on a damn machine.

And last but certainly not least, her whole body was flaring in pain. Her stomach felt as though it had  _ been inside of a meat grinde _ r and her back throbbed from where it was stuck to the bedding beneath her. All the pain did was solidify the knowledge that the attack had indeed happened, it wasn’t a byproduct of no sleep and her overactive imagination.  _ A wolf had indeed ripped open her stomach _ .

That thought alone causes her to shoot into a sitting position, a loud cry ringing off her lips as the action pulls on her stomach. Soft hands settle on her shoulders and her fight or flight instinct kicks in -  _ her beast roaring in her head _ \- as she hits out at whoever was close to her. Fear still compelling each of her actions.

“ Shh baby. _ It’s momma _ – ” 

The voice stops her cold, her chest heaving as she drags in much needed breathes. As her mother’s arms wrap around her tightly, she leans against her mother’s chest, dragging in her scent and allowing the lull of her heartbeat to settle within her, calming down the galloping motion of her mind. Weary eyes blinking open to note it was just the two of them in the hospital room.

“ What – ” she asks, cringing at the gravelly tone of her voice. “ What happened. ” 

She knew what happened, yet something inside of her, something raw and primal was demanding that she found out what everyone knew before she voiced her own opinion. Before she let her voice betray the true fear that was bubbling inside of her.

“ You were attacked by a bear. ” an eyebrow hitches at the blatant lie but she stays silent. “ What compelled you to go running in the woods  **?** ” 

Her mother’s words growing more hysteric till at the end Skylar doesn’t miss the hitch that showed her mother was fighting back tears. Sighing softly she shakes her head, deciding to play along with whatever lie had been fashioned. At least till she could get her answers - whatever they were.

“ I… I don’t remember – ” she breathes, hoping her voice was at least believable, never mind her words. “ How long was I out  **?** ” 

She sits silently as her mother moves to settle on the bed, her delicate hands wrapping around Skylar’s - she barely notes the fact it was shaking - and explains how she’d been out for two days and what the tribe were doing to find the wayward bear. To Skylar, it was one of the most elaborate piles of bullshit she had ever heard but she simply plays along. 

The gentle sound of a voice clearing has her eyes dragging over to the doorway, her uncle sitting serenely in his wheelchair but it was the tall body stood behind it that has Skylar wanting to scramble backwards and as _ far away as she could get _ . Her heart once more racing ahead of her as she finds her breathe stolen by her fear. Her mother remains oblivious to her internal battle and resigns herself to her brother’s request -  _ which as she heads out the room _ \- showed Skylar she had been asked to leave.

“ What is he doing here  **?** ” she growls, hiding behind a facade of anger.

“ Skylar, please calm down. Sam is here to talk. ” 

“ You’re fucking kidding me right  **!** ” she snorts. “ First he rips my fucking stomach open and now you’re asking that I  _ kiss his ass _ and calm down  **?** ” 

She couldn’t help but stare, eyes wide as she regarded the two males. Wondering if her uncle truly wanted her to play nice with the man who had torn her apart after turning into a wolf. Yet she could see from his calm expression - that was exactly what he wanted her to do.

“ Look, Skylar. I know being attacked by that bear was scary, but you have to  _ calm down _ . ” Sam’s deep bass rolled over her and once more she felt the compulsive need to fight back. To disobey his every word.

“ Go fuck yourself Uley, I know what I saw and it was you turning into a wolf  **!** ”

She stared incredulously at the two of them, she understood lying to doctors so she’d get her treatment. But blatantly lying to her face, that was something she couldn’t understand. She had thought her uncle knew better, and yet the only feeling and emotion she got from her uncle - he didn’t trust her.

“ Skylar. ” 

It was a statement, not a question. How could her uncle communicate so much in just that simple pronouncement?  _ Enough Skylar. Stop acting like a child. Grow up and listen. _

“  _ GET OUT _ – ” her voice is loud even to her ears as she screams the words, each syllable ringing out in the small space. 

Whiskey eyes locked heavily on both males as searing tears cut a path down her cheeks. Beside her, she can hear the monitor for her heart going crazy which was rather ironic given that’s what she thought she was doing. Going crazy, as there was no way men turned into wolves -  _ yet she had seen it _ . But more than that, there was no fucking way she’d been attacked by a bear.  _ No matter what her uncle had said _ .

It was as though everyone had chosen that moment to forget that she had an eidetic memory, that her mind stored  _ everything _ she had ever seen. So what was the point in even lying to her, of trying to convince her of something that she knew for certain  _ she hadn’t seen _ ?. She levels a heated glare on her uncle as he attempts to talk to her once more and yet her look stops him short, her lips curling back from her teeth in what was becoming her signature snarl freezing the words in his throat.

Dropping her head back on the pillow as she hears them leave,  _ she lets the tears fall freely _ . For her anguish to drift away with each tear as she breathes in deep, controlling her breathes and calming down the adrenaline that was sending her heart haywire.  _ Hearing the shuffle of feet _ , her eyes snap open once more and this time she comes face to face with Paul.

She takes the moment to look at him, from the way his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his cut-offs, up across his naked chest, her eyes drinking in every curve of muscle and creamy expanse of skin. Up over shoulders that she can easily see were heavy with a burden -  _ a burden she couldn’t name _ \- and then her eyes level on his face. The look upon his features was foreign,  _ as though stood before her _ , was someone she didn’t know.

Yet it was his eyes, those deep pools of obsidian midnight that ensnare her soul. Her breath escapes her on a small gasp as the heat of his gaze burns into her, filled with _ love and anger _ so deep that she could recognize it easily. That she could taste blooming over her tongue. Her beast shifts deep inside,  _ clamouring to get closer _ , to get closer to the only one who understood.

“  _ Trouble _ – ”

Her eyes close as his decadent velvet bass washes over her, the sound of it sending her back to a few weeks ago, the last time she’d been with him and how easy things had been. But since then she’d been grounded,  _ had Paul ignoring her _ , and now she’d been attacked by a wolf.

_ Just another week _ .

“ What do you want Paul  **_?_ ** ” She isn’t deaf to the way her voice wavers, as though she had forgotten how to speak in the last few moments.

“ Are you okay  **_?_ ** ” It was such a loaded question and she can’t help but laugh.

“ Oh I’m perfect. ” she drawls, injecting sarcasm into every syllable. “ Ya know, I just had my stomach ripped open by your new best friend. Oh wait I forgot,  _ it was a bear _ . ” 

His deep sigh breaks the tension, her eyes snapping to his hands as she sees them clench within his pockets. And as a shimmer runs over his body she can’t help but slink back into the bed. The memories of what happened crashing into her once more and causing a tendril of fear to wrap around her heart. At that moment, she fears  _ Paul as much as she feared Sam _ .

“ Leave Paul,” she whispers, the pain stealing her voice. “ I just, I can’t look at you right now knowing you hang out with him. Not after what he’s done  **_!_ ** ” 

“ Skylar – ” oh wow her name,  _ this is amusing _ , she forgot he knew it. 

“ Paul. ” she sighs, forcing her eyes away from the deep pull of his gaze. “ Because of this attack, I felt true fear for the first time. And your new friend was the one who made me feel it. And I just,  _ I can’t look at you _ , no matter how much I fucking loved you.  _ Knowing that you are his friend _ . So please, just give me a day – ” 

It takes her a moment to comprehend the fact that she said loved, instead of love. And yet she wasn’t even sure if it was a slip of the tongue. Or she meant it. As right now as he stood before her, she wasn’t sure if she knew the man she was looking at. She always knew Paul - the true him - and yet now he was a stranger. Gone was the boy, and in his place a man.

“ Just go, Paul – ” 

She expects him to argue, to demand he stayed. Yet as he turns to walk away she bites down a sob as the severity of the situation settles on her shoulders.  _ He was lost to her _ . Her guide through the crazy was no longer hers, Sam had not only taken her strength, but he had also taken Paul. At that moment she can feel intense hatred for Sam growing.

Her beast slams at its cage,  _ begging for release _ and once more causing her to crave nothing more than to make Sam hurt. For him to wear marks of pain just like she was. Her body quivers from the intensity of her feelings and it takes her a moment to calm down,  _ to breathe _ . The silent click of the hospital door plunges her into silence and she growls as she feels tears once more coating her face. She didn’t want to be fucking weak, this wasn’t who she was. 

Reaching over she starts to pull the wires off, crying out lightly as one pinches her skin but she ignores it as she drops them all carelessly on the bedsheets. Throwing off the covers she hisses as she sees the dried skin covering her legs,  _ once more a reminder _ of what had happened in the Clearwater house. Shuffling to the edge of the bed, she bites down on her lip as she swings her legs over the edge, the action like a match to kerosene as her whole system floods with a pain so intense her eyes swim with tears.

Her hand settles against the mark, as though the softness of it could alleviate the pain that right now was making her lightheaded, the adrenaline from earlier washing away and leaving nothing more but the dirty feeling of how weak she was. Growling as that knowledge settles in,  _ she carries on with her actions _ , her feet touching the cold linoleum floor as she grips hold of the bed tightly.

Breathing in and setting herself a routine on in-out she makes her way to the small bathroom, her hand reaching out and turning on the lights and flooding the small space with light, the harshness of it bouncing off the light blue of the walls and making her eyes burn. As she clears the light spots from her vision,  _ she takes note of the room _ , a shower settled against the far side whilst the sink was in the middle and to her left was the toilet. But it was the full-length mirror between the sink and shower that has her attention.

Padding over she grips the counter wrapped around the sink to steady herself as she looked at her reflection, her long ebony hair was a tangled mess, blood and what she can only assume is sweat causing the normally straight locks to curl and knot at the back of her head. Deep dark circles frame her whiskey eyes setting them further into her face, her mismatch lips were tainted pink with the plump bottom one showing the damage of her teeth.

Trailing her eyes down her figure, she smirks in amusement as she notes the hospital gown hid the main damage,  _ yet she could feel it _ . Turning she glances over her shoulder and notes that her tattoo looked fine, the freshness of it still apparent against her toffee skin and yet she could see the sheen against the dark ink. The nurses having no doubt bathed and soothed it with some form of anti-bacterial something. But then again she was just guessing given she was  _ unconscious for two days _ .

Turning till she was facing the front once more, she drags in a deep steadying breath before reaching up to untie the hospital gown, letting it pool at her feet as she looks back at the mirror. There against her toffee skin was a large white bandage, in the middle was a pool of russet blood and the sight of it causes shivers to run violently through her body,  _ her knees almost giving out underneath her _ .

“ Get a hold of yourself Ragnulf  **_!_ ** ” 

With cautious fingers, she starts to peel off the mounds of bandages and gauze, the smell of iodine burning her nose as she peels off the last gauze, hissing softly as it pulls against the skin. Setting it all in the sink she takes a moment to steady herself before looking at the mirror -  _ finally seeing the damage to her skin _ .

Starting under her right breast and curving down her hip stood three large deep scratches, the edges a glaring red as they jaggedly cut across her skin. Even with the stitches so neat and precise,  _ Skylar knew they were going to scar harshly _ , no matter what from this day onwards she would be wearing them across her skin. Her hands shake as she brings them towards her body, her fingers ghosting over the marks and feeling the heat pouring off them.

She isn’t sure how long she stands staring at the marks, envisioning the years of her life with them marring her skin. It’s only as a nurse rests a hand on her shoulder does she realise she was now cold, her skin having bloomed in goose pimples and a chill had settled deep into her bones. She remains silent as the nurse redresses the wounds and helps her into pyjamas that she hadn’t seen before. The soft material feels soft on her skin but she barely takes notice.

Instead,  _ she was too lost in her thoughts _ , the shock of the situation having finally settled in as the adrenaline, anger and fear bleed from her. She could still feel the beast beneath the surface yet the fight had gone from that as well. She was nothing more than an empty husk of the girl she was two days ago,  _ traumatised by fear and a huge black wolf _ . Empty whiskey eyes drag to the clock on the wall, a heavy sigh escaping her as she realises it was still early afternoon. Meaning there was still a good handful of hours before Sonny appeared.

Loud voices outside the room garner her attention, and her ears strain as she hears the sound of her mother’s voice as well as the voice of the one she’d rather never hear again -  _ Sam Uley _ \- drifts towards her. Once more slowly climbing from the bed she makes her way out the room, hissing softly to herself as the loud noises of the main area drift into her sensitive ears.

“ Emmie, right now _Skylar is unstable_. Between her bouts of anger and her moods and now the attack. We should leave things as they are. ” Her uncle’s voice was hard as though he was forcing the words past his lips. “ When things calm down, and she has time to heal _._ We’ll rethink about telling her. ” 

Oh,  _ lovely her family was keeping secrets _ . She thinks wryly as she leans heavily against the wall. Her ears focused on the conversation happening around the corner. Whiskey eyes flitting from one nurse to another and praying none of them talked to her, revealing she was eavesdropping. This conversation was about her, and she wanted to hear it in its entirety.

“ But Billy you forget, _she’s an imprint_. As much as you hate this, your niece is now a part of this life. Moods and anger or not. ” Well, it was nice to hear her mother angry at someone else for a change. 

“ It’s been a week since the imprint, and look what’s happened. My daughter has had her stomach slashed open because one of your _wolves couldn’t control himself_. He hurt another wolves imprint and now you’re telling me you forced him to lock that wolf down with an alpha order so he couldn’t _retaliate_. ” 

For a moment, Skylar allows confusion to settle in as to how her mother knows all this - whatever this is - but then she remembers. As a descendant of the  _ Black Family _ , her mother was on the council. Meaning she knew all the  _ secrets of the tribe _ .

“ Emmie – ” her uncle starts till the telltale sign of a slap rings out.

“ No Billy. Skylar now has to live with the scars.  _ You don’t _ . So yeah if she’s angry, you can deal with her and tell her we’re lying because it’s what you believe is best for her. When we both know, you just  _ don’t love her enough to trust her _ . ” 

She shifts further along the wall as she watches her mother storm past, her usually unflappable mother who had slapped her  _ brother and chief in Skylar’s defence _ . At that moment she could feel it, her heart threatening to overflow in gratitude for the woman who gave her life. Yet she also  _ couldn’t let it _ , as whilst her mother had defended her, there was still the fact that secrets were being kept.

_ The knowledge that the council were keeping secrets _ .

And despite how much she tried, her mind couldn’t fathom where she had heard the words  _ imprint and wolf _ . Something was phishing at the edges of her thoughts, telling her that it was important and that she had indeed heard it before. Yet, with the anger pulsing through her veins joined by the pain flooding her and stealing her breath. She just couldn’t think, her mind remaining  _ one large black hole of emptiness _ .

Deciding she didn’t want to hear anymore, she shuffles back along the wall, her hand gripping her stomach as her teeth sink into her bottom lip to  _ barricade her grunts of pain _ . Ducking back inside the room she’d awoke in, her whiskey eyes now look around and take stock of everything. From the covers of the bed stained in  _ both blood and ink _ , to the jacket resting over the chair beside the bed that even from here she could recognize as her moms. 

Walking over she grabs the garment and looks through the pockets,  _ crying out in joy _ as her fingers wrap around the delicate plastic of her mom’s cellphone. Eyes drift over to the door and she strains to hear the foot traffic that was outside. Apprehension burning within her at the prospect of s _ omeone walking in and stopping her _ . Stopping her from making the only choice at the moment that made sense.

Resigned to her choice, she dials the only number she could think of to _ help her out of this mess _ .

“  _ Daddy _ – ” she sobs as she hears his deep bass ring out through the small speaker. “ I wanna come home _. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N: _Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- So come on guys. Tell me truthfully - how am I doing on this story. I am really curious about your input and what you think. So please tell me - **_even if it’s to criticize something_**. Let me know. Please.  
> Also yes there is about to be a time-jump...mostly because I feel its right for this story. That and I feel better writing ‘adults’ than teenagers (must be because I’m a mom). _So time to age everyone up_.


	5. Time moves slowly.

**\- Colorado Springs, Colorado -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- September / many years later -**

They say the passage of time could heal even the deepest of wounds, that as days rolled by and years creep upon a person,  _ they’d slowly heal from what haunted them _ . But the deeper the cuts ran; the more difficult the process to become whole again. The pain may fade but the scars serve as a constant reminder of weakness,  _ making those that bore them _ , all the more resolved to never be weak and wounded again.

Yet time didn’t heal all wounds, no matter what people told you. No matter how much time passed, some scars ran too deep for a healing process to every truly take place. Skylar knew this better than most, despite how long she had been away, how long she had spent trying to heal from what haunted her.  _ The scars still ran deep _ .

“ Are you worried about tomorrow  **?** ”

The soft voice brings her from her mind as her head raises to look over at the blonde woman sitting across from her. There was a softness in her face with worked well with the soft wrinkles crinkling the edge of her eyes and lips, her poise was open and welcoming as she sat with a notepad tucked delicately on her knee. Skylar had seen the same poise from the woman for the last five years,  _ and yet the routine of it was welcoming _ .

Her shoulders raise in a dejected shrug as her eyes drift back over to the floor to ceiling windows, her eyes staring over the view as she drinks in the sight of Pikes Peak. The familiarity of the mountain created a sense of peace to settle deep within her soul, calming down the tension that had been crackling over her skin since she’d walked in the room for her usual Tuesday appointment.

“ Skylar **–** ” a soft sigh flutters off the simple pronunciation of her name. “ I’ve been seeing you for _five years_ and this is the first time you’ve ever brought up your hometown. _Is there a reason_ **?** ” 

Was there a reason she was avoiding even mentioning her hometown. Yeah,  _ there was because even now _ , so many years later Skylar was still haunted by the memories of what went down. Of the attack in the living room belonging to the Clearwaters and the  _ black wolf  _ who had made her feel true fear for the first time. Sometimes, she would catch herself remembering something from her childhood and then she would be right back there, in the living room.

Many nights she’d woke up screaming, her whole body shaking from fear as her skin was covered in a sheen of sweat. Her eyes frantically searching the room as though scared the wolf was going to congeal out of the darkness and  _ attack her once more _ .

A phantom ache settles across her stomach, flashes of pain rushing through her veins, and idly her hands press against the flesh as though she could hold it at bay. Beneath her palm she could feel nothing but the toned muscles of her stomach and  _ yet she knew what was there _ , obscured by the white cotton of her shirt, she knew what marred her skin. The fingers of her spare hand tighten against the upholstery of the chair as she fights to breathe, to fight off the memories of ‘ _ that _ ’ day.

Even all these years later the fear still crippled her. Whilst she was no longer the same girl that she was back then. She had never felt fear like that day, no matter the situations she’d found herself in,  _ that day would always be her worst _ . When she’d tasted what true fear was, the day she honestly thought she was going to die.

“ There are some things, from when I was young. That I just don’t want to remember  **–** ” she sighs, cutting her eyes back to the blonde. “ So I’m not worried,  _ more like I’m scared to go back _ . Scared that once I cross into tribal lines I’m going to revert to the angry teenager I was back then. And not the  _ hardened military officer I am now _ . ”

It wasn’t the truth, but it was enough truth to stop the therapist from digging. Skylar had been assigned her five years ago, after a mission had gone wrong and Skylar suffered some physical trauma. But since then Mrs Burrows -  _ Layla _ \- had managed to dig beneath the walls Skylar had erected and find the damage still lingering from when she was a teenager. 

They had talked about her anger and about Paul,  _ her uncle’s betrayal _ , the distance that had developed between Skylar and her mother since she moved to Colorado and the ever-loving presence of her baby brother. And yet they’d never talked about La Push as a whole.  _ She had been wise in how she worded everything _ , making sure that most of what she talked about was enough truth to bait the line, but it kept the secrets buried.

_ Skylar had her own secrets to keep buried _ .

She lets Layla drag on for a few more minutes before the small clock on the wall signals the counselling session was at an end. Smiling towards the blonde, she takes her card and promises to ring if she runs into any problems or if  _ she needed to simply talk _ . She didn’t think she’d be taking Layla up on that,  _ after all _ , she was about to walk into a world she couldn’t explain to someone normal, but the offer was welcoming either way.

Heading out the brick building she smiles at the gentleman she passes before heading out to where she parked her car, the silver chevy truck reflecting the mid-afternoon sun and _ acting as a beacon of freedom _ as she walks across the snowy ground, a sign that winter was right around the corner. Climbing behind the wheel she drags in a centring breathe as she starts the truck, feeling its power pulsing through her skin, before she pulls out the parking lot and heads in the direction of  _ her father’s house,  _ the snow-covered streets passing in a blur.

She knew she should go home, but right now she needed the calming effect that was her father. The first person who saw more than the anger and broken teenager she’d been when she’d called him from Forks Hospital. He had taken her, broken and bleeding and brought her home -  _ just as another huge change hit her life _ . Spending weeks of his time and patience helping her as her whole world changed in a blink.

Her father’s ranch soon comes into her field of vision and Skylar lets out her breathe of tension, letting the comfort the rolling fields had always brought her seep deep into her soul. After therapy she always felt  _ raw and vulnerable _ , the layers Layla had peeled back reminding her of the weak girl she never wanted to be. Bt here, at her father’s ranch -  _ she didn’t have to be weak _ \- here she could relish in the comfort and loving embrace of her father.

“ Hey princess  **–** ” her father calls from the porch as she climbs down from the truck.

Deacon Ragnulf was an imposing man.  _ Standing at six-foot-nine inches _ he dwarfed Skylar’s five-foot-eleven frame and yet it was the muscles that covered his frame that had people truly stopping in their tracks. At fifty-four years old he was still the picture of health, his body lean and dangerous as rich toffee skin stretched over his muscles. And yet it was the sparkling of grey within his ebony hair that revealed his age. As well as the wrinkles that curled along the edges of his whiskey-coloured eyes that softened the otherwise harsh lines of his face.

Whenever Skylar looked at her father, she could easily envision what her brother would look like at the same age. Where Skylar now looked like the younger version of her mother - minus her father’s eyes - Sonny was the living replica of their father. She guessed it was almost ironic that the two of them had done that, both favouring a parent, and yet it was not the parent they were closest too.

“ Hey, Daddy  **–** ” she sighs softly as she finally reaches him, his overheated arms encircling her in a hug. “ Sorry for stopping by unannounced. ” 

“ Hey, it’s fine, Princess. Cole’s here with cold beers. ” 

Cole, her stepbrother from her father’s second marriage. He reminded her of Jacob sometimes because no matter what was happening - the guy was always smiling. He was the owner of the local club  _ Wolf’s Paw _ \- a club that Skylar often bartended in when she was home and needed something to keep busy. Something to chase away her nightmares.

“ Where are the others  **?** ” the loaded question didn’t need any other explanation as her father understood it with ease.

“ I’ve got them busy on their tasks. I knew today was your therapy session and then with us leaving tomorrow, it was better they knew their roles now.” 

She nods simply and says nothing else as her father leads her inside the wide house, the comfort of the wood and cream design bleeding away the last dregs of her tension. Heated arms pull her from one chest to another and she chuckles at Cole’s enthusiasm as he hugs her tightly.

“ What am I going to do without my girl for two months  **?** ” he cries dramatically. “ I need my _ wing-woman _ to help me find all the hot guys. ” 

“ You own the hottest club in town, you’ll be fine C  **!** ” 

She laughs at his eccentrics as he waxes on about how it wouldn’t be the same. His large frame leading her into the kitchen and soon she finds a  _ cold beer in her hand and laughter on her lips _ . Just the cure she needed after the therapy session. With her father and stepbrother, she could relish in just laughing,  _ her worries were for another day _ .

As the three of them laugh, share random tales of the day, the day slowly slips away. And as darkness slowly mingles with the low hanging sun, her stepmother comes home. Skylar offering her a soft smile as Leiah pulls her father in for a kiss.  _ Skylar had slight jealousy for them _ , that they had such ease together and a love that even now Skylar was still searching for.

Leiah hands around for a while before dismissing herself to bed, Cole following soon after leaving the father and daughter. Collecting up two new beers, Skylar follows her father out to the back porch, her eyes watching as he gets the firepit going before dropping down into one of the wicker chairs situated around the porch. As she takes a sip of the alcohol, she can almost feel the apprehension burning off her father - the elder male taking a moment to think his words through.

“ Are you sure about tomorrow  **?** ” He questions, finally drawing her attention from where it had been lost in the orange glow of the fire. “ I can make up an excuse if you want one  **?** ” 

Her head shakes once. “ It’s Sonny’s wedding daddy, I have to go back for that. He’s my baby brother and he’s done nothing to me to deserve that. ” 

Yeah her sweet baby brother getting married at twenty-three.

“  _ It’s been ten years _ . If I don’t face my demons now, I don’t think I’ll ever fully heal. ” 

There were words she wasn’t speaking,  _ and as she looks over at her father _ , she knows he can hear them loud and clear. The flickering glow of the fire casts shadows of her father’s face, highlighting the harsh cut of his jaw and eyes as he glares in front of him.

“ And Sam  **?** ” he growls

“ What about him  **?** ” she questions. “ I’m not the girl I was ten years ago. Yes I’m still scared of him, but since then I’ve become a  _ Major in the Marines _ , I’ve got the  _ other side of me _ that guarantees if he comes after me this time, he won’t win. So I think I can handle it. ” 

A luminescent glow casts over her fathers face and she snaps her eyes close, soothing the beast inside of her as the simple mention of Sam’s name brings it forward. She wasn’t worried about facing Sam, she wanted to put him in her past. _ She was more concerned with facing Paul _ .

These last few years, Paul had haunted her dreams almost as much as the black wolf had. Her chest aching with the need to be near him. To see him as though her whole life depended on it -  _ yet like a coward _ , she stayed away. She ignored every urge she had, allowing the sorrow to turn her heart to ice and leave her with a longing ache deep within her. She had filled the hole with blood, sex and alcohol.  _ But nothing could replace Paul _ . She knew that now.

“ I’ll be okay Daddy. You’re with me, and Cole and Leiah are coming in two weeks. So we’ll manage it, us Ragnulf’s don’t back down.” 

She wasn’t sure if she was reassuring her father or she was reassuring herself. She loved that her dad wanted to protect her, but she was an adult - she had survived a decade with more pain than someone would handle. She had spent years pushing away her anger and refusing to be the out of control girl she was once.

Yeah,  _ she still had some anger _ \- but she was nowhere near as volatile. She had spent years curbing her violent tendencies into something productive. And  _ Sam Uley nor Paul Lahote _ was going to undo that. A few more beers are shared as she finally convinces her father she’ll be fine and with a promise to be ready in the morning, she decides to head home. The sounds of the night filtering around her as she exits her safe haven.

She drives away from her father’s house just as the sun disappears, night starting to spread out across the Colorado horizon. Night had always relaxed her, and yet as darkness soon seeps in from all sides, she can feel the chilling feeling settling over her once more. The fear that in the darkness -  _ her monsters will find her  _ \- and it has her pressing down on the acceleration. Lurching the truck forward as she speeds through the streets towards her apartment.

As she pulls into her assigned parking space, she glances around. Her judging gaze cutting through the shadows and checking that the black mass wasn’t  _ hiding something that could tear her apart _ . Her feet calm and steady as she sludges through the slush and snow littering the pavement. The chilled air signalling pre-winter brushes over her skin,  _ her high boy heat  _ keeping it at bay and from soaking deep into her bones.

Finally reaching the door to her small apartment, she slips her keys into the lock and heads inside, the stuffy heat of the hallway slams into her and steals her breathe as the door locks behind her. Leaning her back against the door she waits as her heart starts to straighten from its erratic beat as the smell of home -  _ sandalwood and pine with tinges of strawberry _ \- leeches into her skin and wraps her in a cocoon of safety.

Exhaling a sharp breathe she slips off her wet shoes, dropping them in the small basket in the corner, before heading down the long hallway. The muted lamps lighting the way and she daren’t put any more on, _ for fear of waking up those she knew would be asleep _ . She ducks into the small living room with adjoining kitchen and turns the lights off that were flickering along the walls before once more heading down the now darkened hallway.

Opening the first door on the left, her eyes adjust to the timid light that was filling the room, her whiskey gaze landing on the toddler lost amongst blankets of pink and white. Chuckling softly as she takes note of the disarray she moves forward, her bare feet silent on the plush white carpet as deft hands lift and rearrange the toddler into a more comfortable position among the sheets.

“  _ wuv you momma _ . ” the toddler whispers and Skylar finds herself smiling the first true smile of the night.

“ And I love you, Emmie-Jo Ragnulf. ” she croons softly, her lips forming the routine goodnight phrase that had played out since the moment the toddler learned to babble.

“ Are we seeing unca soso tomorrow. ” the two-year-old mutters sleepily, her charming nickname for Sonny rolling off mismatched lips that were the mirror images of Skylar’s.

“ Yeah,  _ we are baby girl _ . Now go to sleep, little madam. ” 

As dreams once more drag her daughter under, she takes the moment to drink her in. From the golden toffee of her skin, to the dark curls that framed her sweetheart shaped face and down to the mismatched lips she inherited off Skylar. Even though Kaylee’s father had been pale, _ from what she could remember _ , her daughter had taken after her. Inheriting more of the Native American colouring, which when paired with the jade green eyes of her father, made her look like some ethereal angel. And she was,  _ she was Skylar’s angel _ , the angel that saved her from the darkness.

Leaning forward she presses a soft kiss against Kaylee’s forehead before creeping from the room once more, shutting the door silently behind her before finishing her trek to the other bedroom. The curtains were open as she steps inside, allowing the moonlight to shine in from the large bay window, cutting across the darkness of the room like a strobe light and  _ framing the body in the bed in a sublime glow _ . 

Her feet pad like a whisper across the floor as she strips off the clothes clinging to her skin from the changing temperatures. The clothes highlighting her path across the floor till she’s left only in her bra and panties as she slips beneath the inviting sheets. Her hands barely finished throwing the blankets back over herself before the body laying beside her rolls over. Skylar’s whiskey gaze now looking down the full length of the body gradually rolling on top of her own.

In the harsh light of the moon, the skin of the other absolutely glowed. As if poured smooth and flawless like white chocolate from the shoulder that was now hitched up under a soft chin, down the curve of a bareback, over that round toned ass,  _ that Skylar now realizes is bare of any underwear _ , down those long shapely legs – one of which had been thrown over hers.

A clumsy and searching hand rears up and collapsed clumsily on her face,  _ almost feeling like a full-blown slap _ , and it jolts Skylar out of her observations. Fingers blindly fumble over Skylar features,  _ sluggish, tired and awkward _ , a finger accidentally poking into her nose on its way across her face. A small huffed chuckle breaking out of Skylar’s lips as the hand comes to settle on her cheek.

“ You smell like booze  **!** ” words murmured in a sleepy mumble, eyes still closed.

“ Sorry, I couldn’t be bothered to get a shower. ” 

Blinking once, her eyes reopen only to be captured by the soft brown-eyed gaze of one  _ Bella Swan _ . The remnants of sleep clung to the edges of those wide and fathomless eyes and she finds herself smiling softly. Her arms coming to wrap around Bella’s back and pull her even closer. The bed bore heat of Bella’s skin meeting Skylar’s overheated skin and creating  _ a cocoon of warmth _ .

She wished she could say that was the end of the conversation,  _ but she knew Bella _ . And for all intents and purposes,  _ Bella knew her _ . Every tick, every hidden emotion swirling in whiskey eyes that Skylar hid and it would take one hard look to realize that Skylar was borderline losing her mind. Bella saw it all, _ read it all like an open book _ .

The meeting between the two had been random and spur of the moment, as Bella ordered a drink in Cole’s club and Skylar was the bartender on duty helping out her stepbrother. The two had gotten to talking and found that they’d grown up not far from each other and had some things in common.  _ But more than that _ , they understood each other from the word go and for some reason, Skylar had offered her a place to stay till Bella got her feet under her. The words crawling from Skylar’s through before she’d even registered to speak them.

_ That had been four years ago _ .

Since then the two had settled into a routine, one that made no sense to anyone else but made all the sense in the world to them.  _ They’d started as simple roommates _ , sharing duties the times that Skylar was home and when she was away with the military she made sure to send Bella the rent money.  _ About a year into their friendship _ , the two had gotten drunk early one morning after they’d both woken up screaming from the nightmares that plagued them.

More than a few drinks later found them naked within Skylar’s sheets as they chased their nightmares away with moans and sighs of pleasure. And for the last three years, Bella spent every night that Skylar was home wrapped inside Skylar’s arms. The two had other lovers as well, both male and female -  _ hence Skylar had Emmie-Jo _ \- but more often than not, they found pleasure with each other.

They shared the tales of what haunted them, what they were running from. Skylar revealing to Bella the beast that slumbered inside, and Bella revealing the vampires she was trying to outrun and a torrid history  _ on the reservation Skylar belonged too _ . The horrors they’d lived through binding them even closer together and solidifying the foundations of their friendship.  _ Bella Swan was now her one true best friend _ .

It wasn’t love,  _ it was a pure unadulterated need _ . Both were aware the other was using them, using them to chase away their nightmares and yet a silent pact had been formed and that fact was never brought up. They were friends,  _ best friends _ , who slept together and raised a toddler. 

_ Perfectly normal _ .

“ Are you going to be okay tomorrow  **?** ” Bella’s mumbled question brings Skylar back to the present as she sighs softly.

“ Yeah, I am. I’ll have dad and Sonny with me and then you in two weeks, so I’ll be fine. ”

There was no question about Bella being her plus one to the wedding, _ it was inevitable _ , Sonny loved Bella and had wondered if she’d come so the two of them had figured why not just go together. That way Sonny gets to see Bella, and they could help each other survive the horror of being home. Even if Skylar had to do it for two weeks without the brunette.

_ God _ , why did she say she’d stay for two months to help finalize wedding plans. Even now she realizes what a huge mistake that was going to be. _ But it was too late _ , she wouldn’t back out on her brother, and Bella wouldn’t let her either. She wouldn’t be surprised if the five-foot-nothing brunette didn’t have a back-up plan to drag Skylar to the wedding whether she liked it or not.  _ She wouldn’t put it past her _ .

“ We’ll be okay. Promise. ” 

With Bella’s last mumbled words before sleep claimed her once more, Skylar couldn’t help but wonder if that was true. Or if her life was about to once more become  _ a wildfire burning out of control _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- so how’d you like the little look into how Sky has been since she left La Push. _There are still secrets_ ( **did you catch the hints about Sky’s beast** ) - but they will slowly be revealed from here on out. Also, what do you think is going to happen when Sky goes back - with her daughter…… _and Bella._
> 
> _So yeah if you remember me saying - I have a sam and Bella story that intersects with this one - but I couldn’t post for a while…….know you know why._


	6. Welcome fucking home

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- September -**

Over the years, Skylar had gotten used to feeling incorrigible energy burning in her veins. Often at times leaving her feeling as though she had been injected with a huge dose of steroids, speed and adrenaline. From the moment she opened her eyes till the moment she closed them again -  _ it was there _ \- burning away within her and leaving her feeling jittery and untameable. She had developed ways to counteract it - either by running or by fighting - either way,  _ she found a way to exhaust it _ .

But as she sat regulated to the passenger seat of her father’s rental car, she could feel it thrumming within her with an intensity that had her  _ looking like a crack addict _ . Her whole body shook, her knees bouncing and her hands shaking. The more the road stretched about before them, the tighter she found herself wound up. And it was a feeling that she found hard to explain -  _ she didn’t even know what was causing it _ .

She had been as far as Seattle many times with the marines, the closest she had ever been to her hometown, and yet this had never happened to her before. The way her heart thundered with every beat as she felt the innate compulsion to _ finally go home _ . To return to the one place that could cure her of the feeling inside.  _ To see Paul _ .

Over the years she had felt the same compulsion, that all her worries would disappear if she was just within Paul’s arms. A feeling that had grown in intensity as the years progressed -  _ to the point she was fighting herself every day _ \- and it was something that had never stilled. Instead, she had to allow her anger, her pain and the ‘ _ other side _ ’ of herself take over completely to help her win the fight. 

_ She had to give in to the darkest parts of her secrets _ .

_ A heated hand _ settles over her own, the action making her jump as her head turns wildly to look at her father. His soothing features asking the questions without a single sound leaving his lips. Her features contorting to show the pain she was feeling, the intense hurt that was currently ricocheting around her bones. A small voice -  _ lodged deep in the recess of her mind _ \- starts to berate her. Punish her for what she was feeling by saying it wouldn’t be happening if she didn’t leave.

_ Which was lovely _ , now she was arguing with herself. God Layla would have a field day if Skylar was to explain what was happening to her at that moment. How out of control she had become in the nearly four-hour drive from Seattle to La Push. She could already picture the look on her therapists face as well as guess the words she would speak. Humour injecting itself in her veins as she pictures it, giving her a moments respite from the hurt.

“ Breath princess. ” her father’s voice is like a decadent croon, washing over her and penetrating deep through the fog of her brain.

As though her very lungs were  _ under her father’s control _ , they take that moment to scream with the need for oxygen. Forcing her to drag in a much needed and welcome inhale of bliss, her mind swimming from the intensity and causing her to dip forward. Her hands rearing out to catch her swaying frame against the dashboard as she repeats the action -  _ breath in, breath out _ . 

God,  _ she was a fucking mess _ . She had been to war, been surrounded by a halo of bullets and not once had she lost control. Not once had she allowed herself to become consumed by what she was feeling. Her mind was completely level-headed as  _ she fought to survive _ . And yet, one car journey and her decade of hard-earned work were fluttering away like dust in the wind.

“ We’re here. ”

She didn’t need her father’s words to acknowledge that -  _ she felt it _ \- the ache deep within her chest telling her that she was back within La Push. Her beast coiling deep within her gut as it prepares for action. The feeling of it spreading through her veins and leaving a tingling sensation in her shaking limbs. Her mind bringing forth the memory of her uncle calling her ‘unstable’ as well as an image of Sam Uley’s face. And as though that was all she needed,  _ she straightens back out _ \- her mask of indifference hardening back into place with a mercurial speed that was borderline supernatural. As her body loses its jittery feeling and internalising the feeling into something far easier to control.

She wasn’t that weak little girl anymore.

She wasn’t unstable anymore.

Turning in her seat, she settles her gaze on her daughter to see the toddler asleep within the car seat. Completely oblivious to the world as it passes her by and to the secret trauma that Skylar was currently dealing with.  _ The way it should be _ . She heard once that parents made the best liars, that they’d sell any lie as long as it kept the innocence alive for their child. And that was something she completely understood. For Emmie-Jo she would sell the biggest lie possible.  _ As long as her little girl stayed innocent _ .

The car slowing has her turning back towards the front, her observant gaze landing on the house that she and her father were renting whilst in La Push. Neither of them felt like being  _ around her mother  _ for long periods, and it wasn’t far to impose on Sonny either. Her brother was getting married and about to start his own life - _ they didn’t need to impose on that _ .

From where she was sat, she could see it was one of the more recent developments. Sonny had informed her about it when he’d last visited and now she was seeing the labour put to use. The outside didn’t reveal anything about the inside and instead looked like a simple wood style house -  _ different to the clapboard _ of the older residences. A wrap-around porch with his hand-carved railings was the main draw of the outside.

Climbing from the car as her father parks, she stretches feeling her bones and muscles release from their taut poise and popping back into place. Her eyes drag lazily around the view and smiling softly - they were in an area of La Push that wasn’t _ highly populated  _ and with woods on three different sides of the house, it gave off the illusion of privacy. Something that was sorely lacking on a reservation where everyone knew everyone.

Turning back to the car, she walks around and begins the process of releasing Emmie-Jo from the contraption called a car seat, her movements quick but gentle as to not wake the toddler up from her sleep. As Skylar was not in the mood to deal with the  _ tantrum that would follow that action _ . With Emmie-Jo grasped tightly to her chest, she follows behind her father as he leads her into the house.

A gasp of shock leaving her lips the moment she crosses over the threshold - she was right in saying that the outside gave nothing away,  _ as inside it felt like a different house _ . The bottom half was open and light, the living room joining up with the kitchen with only a half wall to separate them both, the soft oak wood floor helping to create heat as well as keep with the light tone of the house. Natural wood bled from every available surface and despite how in most places it wouldn’t work - _ here it did _ .

Situated on the back wall was a floating staircase with a doorway underneath it and one off to the side at the bottom. Her  _ curiosity burns bright _ and ignoring the humour dancing in her father’s eyes she starts forward. First opening the door underneath the stairs. Her eyes landing on a bedroom, the colour scheme the same neutral undertones that were spread about the house. A closet was open to the left but her eyes were drawn to the back wall and the floor to ceiling mirrors which highlighted the forest surrounding the house.  _ Furthermore accenting the illusion of privacy _ .

A smile lifts the corner of her lips as she relishes in the peace that seemed to ooze from the sight, turning she walks through the door on the left, her eyes taking note of the bathroom that seemed to join the two rooms at the bottom of the house. Walking through the other she enters the room that was identical to the bedroom she had just left.  _ But she can see this one was for a child. _

The colours were pastel and worked well for a child of any gender, the large windows highlighted by soft curtains and in the far left corner, she chuckles seeing a  _ variety of toys for different age groups _ . Softly padding towards the bed she leans forward and places Emmie-Jo down among the sheets, grabbing the soft beige comforter from the bottom and tucking her in. She takes a moment to watch, to make sure she hadn’t disturbed the little girl before continuing her surveyance of the room. The closet was large, larger than she thought and it was honestly a gorgeous room.

_ So was the other room _ .

Sneaking out the room as to not wake Emmie-jo, she looks around the living room and kitchen. The blend of neutral colours and natural wood making it so homey that it wasn’t hard for Skylar to envision many nights curled up on the sofa in front of the large flat-screen television on the wall. Or curled up in a chair near the fire reading a book. The kitchen was also somewhere that was easy to picture herself moving within and cooking.

Shaking her head to clear the illusions she takes off up the stairs, pushing open the door she comes face to face with the largest room of the house. The third bedroom stretching out the full length of the house, the colour scheme a darker beige with grey undertones as well as the floor to ceiling windows she’d noted downstairs. Moving to her right she enters a bathroom that looked _ literally like heaven _ . Twin sinks, a large clawed bathroom and a shower that was big enough to have a party inside. The dark colours working well with the appliances. 

Heading back into the bedroom she sees her father walk in and drop her bags on the bed, his face showing he wasn’t open to arguing so she doesn’t. Instead, she walks over to the windows, her hand settling on the cool glass as she drinks in the forest that surrounded the house.

_ She was finally home _ .

She’s not sure how long she stands there but soon she pulls herself away and drinks in the room once more before heading back downstairs. Her fingers delicately running over everything within reach as she commits everything to memory. This was a house she wanted to  _ remember _ for the rest of her life.

To put it into perspective - _ the house was Skylar’s dream house _ . If she was to design somewhere to live permanently than this house would be it. She even remembers conversations where she had mentioned as such, those memories alone pique’s her curiosity and has her looking over at her father. And yet his face remains as impassive as ever.

“ Who are we renting this off again  **?** ” her words spoken so coyly even she had to appreciate it.

“ Some small business ran by some of the reservation boys. ” her father does skip a beat as he continues sorting through things in the kitchen. “ Some of them will buy houses and flip them before renting them out. Or they’ll work with a construction company and build the houses from the foundations. ”

“ Huh. ” she snorts as her arms come up to cross over her chest. “ And the boys are  **?** ”

“ Paul Lahote and Jared Cameron. ”

The name was like ice in her veins and she can feel her eyes widen as she registers just what her father said, her head once more spinning around to drink in every detail. And now she knew, it wasn’t just her potential dream house,  _ it was her dream house _ . She had told Paul the details that she had seen, it was Paul who knew what she had wanted.

And right now she was stood in the hard-worked labour of that creation.

“ Oh, you meddlesome old man,” she growls as she turns away from him. His rich laughter suffocating the air behind her.

She was now filled with more questions than she had been when she first walked in.  _ Why had he built it? Did he expect her to return? And more than that, why had her father rented it? _ He knew how hard she had fought to forget Paul, to force herself to believe he was better off without her -  _ without her issues _ \- and yet he rents the house that washer dream home. And apparently built by her ex.

The way this visit was already going,  _ she would be ringing Layla _ . 

She’s spared from her father’s antics by the front door opening, the wood parting to reveal the reason why she was  _ back home in La Push in the first place _ . Her face breaking into a wide grin as she watches her baby brother enter the house. His large frame a welcoming sight. It amused Skylar to see him like that, as a child he had always been far shorter than her, but now he dwarfed her and was a _ true mirror image of their father _ .

She’d had a final late growth spurt taking her from  _ five-foot-four to five-foot-eleven _ due to various reasons, but here her baby brother stood at least six-foot-three. His previously gangly frame now built with muscles that crackled with a power that resided deep underneath. It both  _ hurt and pleased _ her in equal measure to see him like this. Pleased her as now she knew he could look after himself - hurt her because she knew Sam wouldn’t be far behind.

Shaking off the lingering doubt, she moves forward and walks into the welcoming embrace of  _ her brother with ease _ . Her head resting comfortably on his shoulder as her arms wrap around his waist, she drags in deep lungfuls of his scent allowing the scent of burning wood and pine to wrap around her. He smelt like the forest, _ but also of their childhood _ . A time when they were still innocent and the world hadn’t tainted their views. Before their dreams burned down to embers that could never be recovered.

“ I missed you, baby brother,” she whispers softly so only he could hear.

“ Missed you too big sister. ”

She lingers for a moment longer before pulling away, allowing their father to embrace his son. Instead her softened gaze drifts behind him to where his fiancee was stood. Moving Skylar pulls her into a soft hug as well - she had met her soon to be sister-in-law on Sonny’s last visit when he’d come for  _ Emmie-Jo’s birthday _ and even then, she had known her brother would marry the girl. The love that poured off them was sickenly sweet but also true. It reminded her slightly of how her and Paul had been -  _ long ago _ . But yet it also ran deeper, something so in tune with their souls it was to be cherished.

“ Hey Mina, you sure you’re ready to take this one on permanently. ” she teases as she pulls back, fingers tucking an idle strand of hair behind the girl’s ear.

“ Oh don’t worry, I’m already coming up with a plan to return him if the need arises. ”

Laughter rings out softly from the Ragnulf’s as Mina’s words settle between them. Yet it was the slow incline of her brothers head that draws Skylar’s attention and she follows him into the other room. The door shutting behind them and cutting them off from the others though Skylar knows her father could probably  _ hear every word they spok _ e.

“ Are you sure you’re okay being back here  **?** ” his words cutting straight to the point.

“ Does anyone know I’m back  **?** ” she counters

“ Mina and I didn’t tell anyone, I’ve become good at hiding things. But I’m sure mom knows by now, which means Billy knows  **–** ”  _ yeah even Skylar guessed that _ . “ But I haven’t told anyone else.  _ Mostly because I didn’t believe you’d truly come back _ . You haven’t before. And no I don’t hold that against you, I never have, I understand why you left. But your return doesn’t just mean something to me.  _ But it does to others _ . ”

_ Damn, when did her brother get so wise _ ? She moves, looking out the window as she considered his words. She knew her staying away had hurt him too, he had adored her growing up. Bathing her in this heroic light and she had dimmed it when she ran away, but she’d dimmed it before then. When she’d shown him the evil side of herself.  _ She wasn’t his hero anymore _ \- she had become one of the monsters he was best staying away from.

But since then she’d become a hero to someone else -  _ her daughter _ \- she had become the only thing keeping the evil away from her child’s innocence.

“ I’m sorry I stayed away so long Sonny  **–** ” she whispers, the words heavy in the room. “ I wanted to come back so many times. But I just didn’t know who I was in La Push anymore. I went through so fucking much and lost myself so many times. I just -  _ I couldn’t bring that here _ . ” 

Large arms encircle her and she turns into her brother’s chest as the first tears fall - first of many she was sure. His nature and soft heart soothing the storm that was slowly waking up inside, her emotions all grouping together and breaking free from where she’d stored them. If this was day one in La Push - by the end of the two months she was going to truly be insane.

“ We’ll get through this Lar-Lar, us Ragnulf’s don’t quit easily  **–** ” he murmurs into her ear and she clings to the words with desperation. “ Now straighten that back,  _ Major _ . We’ve got incoming. ” 

She pulls away in confusion, her ears straining to hear their surroundings and  _ trepidation starts to thrum _ within her as a familiar voice drifts towards her. Breathing in deep she does just as her brother suggested, allowing her mask to slip into place and  _ her emotions to once more be buried below _ . Following her brother out the bedroom, she sees Mina moving around in the kitchen. Her eyes cutting between the two siblings before she points towards the door.

She breathes in deeply once more before heading outside, her fathers frame cutting an imposing figure as he stands on the porch. Yet her eyes drift past him and to the group of people who were now gathered in the driveway.

“ Mom, Uncle Billy  **–** ” she greets stonily as she looks around. “ Jacob, glad to see you got the  _ growth genes too _ . ” she teases lightly. 

She ignores the other figure, stood behind her uncle’s wheelchair but as he moves, her dark gaze cuts to him. A glare crinkling the edges of her eyes as she prays all her anger and hatred towards him is visible. That he could read how much she detested him across each of her features, from the downturn of her lips to her clenched fists and the glare of her darkening eyes.

“ Come any closer Samuel Uley and  _ I will rip your throat out _ . ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : Reviews are love and highly appreciated** \- so I know I’m taking some liberties with this story, aka having Skylar be gone for ten years, and not feeling the true effect of the imprint - but don’t worry. I am hoping that there is a way I can explain that, that it all makes sense as the chapters progress.
> 
> And yeah I’m not a fan of this chap. Sorry, it sucks...the next one will be better.  
> But the way you all support me means so much, and I am glad you are all enjoying Skylar so much - as truly she is a different breed of chara for me, _so complex and dealing with so many issues_. But you all love her and thank you.


	7. You are not my alpha.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- September -**

Her words settled between them like a lead weight as her eyes burned like wildfire. Yet whilst she glared at the elder male,  _ she was also taking stock _ . He was different. There were the obvious changes that seemed to happen to all the young males of La Push but it was more than that. Sam had always had a softness about him -  _ something that gave him an elder brother vibe _ \- a softness she recognized even with not truly knowing him.

But now, that softness had hardened. His eyes were empty and bottomless as though he had lost his reason to fight and was simply fighting to survive each day. His body was held taut and defensive, waiting for an attack that wasn’t coming -  _ he was battled hardened _ . She didn’t know what war he was fighting but he’d lived through it and the man he was before had died in the aftermath.

Sympathy coiled in her stomach against her will. Some small part of her feeling bad that he had lived through something and not come out of it whole. And yet before that feeling could grow and fester into something stronger - she remembers that this was the man who  _ haunted her nightmares _ . The one who made her feel fear for the first time and ruined any chance of her fixing things with Paul.

She turns walking back into the house as she pulls off her hoodie -  _ her body feeling overheated and stuffy _ \- her muscles coiling under the inked skin of her arms and back. She begins to pace softly as she listens to her father, the one of them who’d remembered to be cordial to those gathered outside and invites them within the house. As she hears the movement of feet on the wooden porch, her eyes glance over to Mina intense gratitude fills her as her brother’s fiancee seems to get her  _ silent request _ . Mina’s feet carrying her from the kitchen into the room that housed Emmie-Jo with quickness and ease that highlighted her youth.

She moves towards the living room, every one of her senses in tune with those behind her as she manoeuvres the living room. Placing herself in the far corner -  _ a spot where she can see everything and protect herself  _ \- she watches as everyone files in. She stands with her feet set shoulder-width apart and her hands trapped tightly behind her hips -  _ every inch the soldier _ \- even when right now she wasn’t one. She was still on maternity leave, technically.

Her mother’s smile was tight and Skylar offers her one in return, her body not easing from it intense posture even as her mother’s hand wraps delicately around her bicep.

“ They’ve promised to listen  **–** ” her mother soothed as though Sky was some wild animal. “ It’s time to say your piece. ” 

She doesn’t respond to her mother’s words, after all,  _ she didn’t care if they listened or not _ . But her reason was also because of the tense bond that was now between mother and daughter. With the elder woman distancing from her firstborn because of Skylar’s choice to go to Colorado with her father. Whereas Sonny had found a way to keep a relationship with his sister -  _ Emmie Black didn’t even try _ .

Skylar tracks each person, from her uncle coming to a stop beside the couch, Jacob and Sonny resting on the wall near the door. Sam standing behind the couch in a posture that almost mirrored Skylar’s, then her eyes cut to her father who settled on the couch to Skylar’s left as though this was the most entertaining show he had ever seen. His tall frame relaxed and at ease despite the tension oozing from every direction.  _ She wished she was as relaxed as him _ .

“ Skylar  **–** ” her uncle asks drawing her attention. “ I have to ask this. Are you intending on staying, past the wedding  **_?_ ** ”

“ Depends  **–** ” she croons in response. “ Is the  _ unstable one _ welcome  **_?_ ** ”

Her mothers gasp rings out loudly, the small sound reverberating in her ears as Skylar all but throws in their face the conversation from  _ ten years ago _ . She’d never said anything about it before, not when her father came to get her from Forks Hospital, and not to her brother over the years. _ It was something she’d carried alone _ .

“ Look, there is a ton of shit still sitting between you all. And I am not having it overshadow my son’s wedding. ” her fathers words ring out around the room,  _ the authority so clear to see _ . As well as the fact he wasn’t going to budge. “ So how about we air it all, and  _ move on _ . ”

It was easy in practice -  _ air all the dirty laundry and move on _ \- but in reality, it was forcing Skylar to do nothing more than face the one who had caused her pain. The one who haunted her nightmares and she wasn’t sure she wanted any of them to know that. To know that Sam had gotten that far under her skin, especially not with the man in the room.

But she murmurs her agreement along with the others, anything to stop the look that was in her father’s eye. If anyone could make her comply it was Deacon Ragnulf. Both because of the truth that Skylar was a daddy’s girl -  _ and the fact he knew her better than most _ . And knew that right now she wanted nothing more than to take Emmie-Jo and run.

“ Why did you run Skylar  **_?_ ** ” 

She looks at her mother and sighs softly. Her eyes briefly closing before she reopened them again. Honestly,  _ her mother was that damn blind _ . Biting on the inside of her lip she allows the brief flicker of pain to centre her as she takes a moment to word her answer.

“ Why would I stay mom  **_?_ ** ” she shrugs. “ I was attacked by a wolf whilst I was defending a friend. And instead of my family supporting me, they tried to make me believe it was a bear.  _ Like some idiot _ . It was as though at that moment everyone seemed to forget I have an eidetic memory, my mind records everything I see. Even in duress. ” 

Her eyes then cut to her uncle. “ You treated me like a child, not the scared eighteen-year-old that I was. I wasn’t unstable, I was scared out of my mind because at that moment when he attacked me  _ I truly thought I was going to die _ . Then when I went looking for my mom,  _ I heard you _ , saying I was unstable and couldn’t be trusted. Do you know how much that hurts, to hear that your uncle can’t trust you and thinks you’re some out of control child  **_?_ ** ” 

She can see tears rolling down her mom’s face and also gathering in her uncle’s eyes. But she didn’t want their sympathy. No, she was long past the point of wanting that.  _ Now all she wanted were answers _ . Bringing one of her arms from the cage behind her hips, she lifts the edge of her tank top, the black cotton shifting to reveal her stomach. Stopping just as the cotton reaches the underside of her bra she looks out at her family.

“ I carry these scars, the memory of how fucking scared I was and the fact that my family turned their back on me every goddamn day. ” she sighs dropping her shirt. Mostly as she knew there were other scars on her skin with stories she didn’t want to get into.

“ We failed you, Skylar.  _ We see that now _ . ” Her uncle’s voice is heavy with emotion, an emotion Skylar has never heard from him. Regret. “ The way we handled things when the attack happened. They were not the best way to do it. ” 

“ You think  **_?_ ** ” a snort ringing out with pure sarcasm attached. “ Did you know it took me three days to remember the Quileute legends in their entirety, to remember every little detail so I could understand what happened. It was my dad who helped. He did the job you were supposed to do Uncle Billy.  _ You were my chief _ , my uncle and all you saw was a girl acting out. ” 

She traps her hand once more as a heavy silence settles in the room. Despite her reservations, as she walked into the conversation, she would admit that now she felt better having voiced what was hurting her. She knew it wouldn’t make things easier, there was no way anything would. She was also proud of herself for not losing her temper or crying. She had managed to remain in one piece through it all.

But of course,  _ Sam just had to fucking ruin it _ .

“ So you know everything. Does that mean you know about Imprinting  **_?_ ** ” 

“ Yeah, I do. Why  **_?_ ** ” she drawls, an eyebrow hitching as she wondered where the hell this conversation was now going.

“ So if I know, how did you manage to stay away from Paul  **_?_ ** ” 

Oh yeah, she had an idea that this was how the conversation would go. Because of course, she was the enemy in the situation. And yet, Paul hadn’t reached out to her either. Imprinting was a two way street from what the legends say, and hell that just reminded her about the alpha order.

“ That answer is for Paul,  _ not you _ . ” she croons, her voice rich with a warning that Sam was entering an unwelcome territory.

“ You will tell me if you intend to see him. It is best if I know  **_?_ ** ” 

Oh, she was going to enjoy when she could punch that smug look off his face. Whilst his face hadn’t changed in emotions, she could sense the smugness. He was enjoying the small tendril of control he believed he had over her. All because he was Paul’s alpha. Yeah not fucking happening.

“ My personal life. Is my business,” she comments pushing off the wall and standing before Sam. “ If I want to see Paul. I will see him. _ You do not control me _ , Sam, I don’t have to listen to you. And I remember the old legends, Sam.  _ Alpha orders do not outweigh an imprint _ . ” 

At those words her eyes cut to her uncle, her heavy gaze settling on him and she’s thankful that he has the balls to look sheepish as she throws in his face even more hidden knowledge of what he said that day in the hospital.

“ Ten years ago. After he attacked me, you forced him to put Paul under an alpha order. How  **_?_ ** ” 

“  _ Sam used your fear _ , ” Jacob comments stepping forward and inserting himself into the conversation. “ When I phased I saw it all, Paul kept running it over in his mind as he worked to find a loophole. But by then you were long gone and  _ showing signs of never returning _ . But to do the alpha order, Sam used the fact you were scared of his wolf form, so you’d be scared of Paul. Because Paul was struggling to get control of his phasing. He used those facts to word it in a way,  _ even I wouldn’t have been able to break it _ . ” 

She had to hand it to Jacob, to go against Sam to tell her the details. She sends him a thankful smile before levelling her eyes once more on Sam.  _ She observes him _ , watching his face and yet she doesn’t see anything cross over his face. He was still emotionless, an empty shell of the man she once knew.  _ Yet she still hated him _ .

Her mind runs over everything, her brain coming to the swift conclusion that the alpha order Paul was under  _ must have been an intense one _ . Paul didn’t like when Skylar was hurt, he never had in the whole time she’d known him. So it would have been easy to weave an alpha order around that -  _ but to use that against _ \- it caused Skylar’s anger to burn like a wildfire. The intensity of when she was a child returning in full force.

“ You’re an asshole. ” she spits, each word enunciated with venom.

“  _ Enough Skylar _ . I don’t regret my choices. They protected you and they protected Paul. If you hadn’t been so out of control I would have told you that day in the hospital. But you were unstable,  _ your anger was unpredictable _ . ” 

His voice was wrapped in that _ honeyed bass of power  _ she’d always known. And once more she can feel the revolt coiling within her. His dark eyes burn into her, as though trying to make her submit and see things the way he did.

“ And you were hurt,  _ and I do feel bad about hurting you _ , it’s haunted me since that day what I did to you and I’ve made sure none of the others ever  _ repeat my mistake _ . But I do not regret the way I controlled what happened.  **You are my pack** , it was my job to look after you. ” 

Moving quickly she rears her fist back and slams it into the male’s jaw,  _ sick satisfaction blooming _ within as she watches him tip backwards. She follows up with a fist to his gut and the force knocks him to his knees. Her hand wraps around his throat in warning as she forces him to look at her, for her to be the one he looks up at this time. Her nails cutting into the toffee skin of his neck to the point she can  _ see blood gather _ along the crease of her nails.

“ I am only going to say this once. So you listen to me closely _Samuel Uley_ **–** ” 

Her voice never raises from its steady tenor, yet each word was wrapped in anger, venom and power. And as a gasp rings out from her Uncle Billy, her mom and Jacob -  _ as well as the male before her _ \- she knew one thing was for certain.  _ Her beast was loose _ . Her beast was now controlling every action and it was best that Sam finally listened to her.

“ I am a _Major in the Marines_. I am the daughter and the second in command to Deacon Ragnulf, _Alpha of the Blackwater Pack_ out of Colorado. I am the granddaughter of Ephraim Black, previous alpha of the _Quileute pack_ **–** ” her fingers tighten with each word till she can hear Sam gasping for breath. “ I bow to no man, and I sure as shit don’t bow to you. **_You are not my alpha_** **_!_** ” 

She pushes him away and stands up tall, her eyes that she knew would reflect the wolf beneath the surface level on her uncle and mother and she can see the trepidation burning with them. Her cousin Jacob was leaning against the far wall chuckling softly to himself and Skylar can’t help but wonder what he finds so amusing.

_But the one thing she did know, was_ _things had changed_.

“ I wasn’t unstable or out of control. I was changing as  _ my wolf woke up _ . And all of you closed your eyes and wrote me off as a moody teenager. ” she croons darkly, levelling a luminescent gaze on each of them. “ Now do me a favour, and get the fuck out of this house and take this  _ sorry excuse for alpha with you _ . ” 

She turns after her words and presses her hands against the wall as she works to calm down, to regain control from her wolf who right now was fighting every single one of her actions.  _ She’d become one with it so long ago _ that it was just as much a part of her as her blood - and right now it could feel her anger and was turning it into something raw and primal. 

“ I’m sorry Deacon, we didn’t see the signs. ” Her uncle’s voice grabs her attention as her head tilts, thankful for lupine hearing that allowed her to eavesdrop without moving.

“ The signs were there Billy, I saw them the moment I walked into that hospital room. You just didn’t want to admit that someone else of the black line was phasing before your son. ” her father sighs and Skylar feels the weight of it deep in her soul. “ She has alpha blood from both my familial line and yours Emmie,  **_you knew that_ ** . Our daughter needed guidance,  _ not punishment and lies _ . ” 

The air is heavy with the silence as her father berates the two Black family members with simple words. But she was shocked to hear that her mother knew about her father being a shape-shifter. She had thought that her mother was blind to that. Well,  _ she was wrong _ .

“ Uncle Deacon. Can I ask when Skylar phased  **_?_ ** ” Jacob asks softly.

“ Three days after I brought her back to Colorado. Which was a blessing as it helped her marks heal. But she still has them, as you saw. ” 

She tunes out the rest of the conversation as she hears her uncle start arguing again about when Skylar first phased and instead she concentrates once more on her breathing. Her hearing picking up the heartbeat of her daughter and she starts to inhale and exhale with each of the beats.

A heated hand on her shoulder has her turning to the side wildly and she watches as Jacob raises his hands in submission, his eyes showing he hadn’t meant to startle her.

“  _ Sonny and I have patrol _ , do you want to run whilst we do it  **_?_ ** We can protect you from the others so no one realises an extra and strange wolf is out there,” he questions as he shuffles from one foot to the other. 

She nods once and is blessed with one of the full-blown grins that were a trademark of Jacob’s, her own lips hitching in a smile at the sight as she follows him out the house. She notes only her father is left on the porch and he nods at her once before heading inside. No doubt to spend time with Mina and look after Emmie-Jo. Breathing in deep she lets the power of the wolf take over.

Stepping off the porch she lands on four paws with ease, where she once stood as a human,  _ now stood a black and white wolf _ . Her large head turns to the side and her enhanced eyes land on the two others at her side. A small white wolf with black on his face and russet on his ears, and a larger russet one. An animalistic snort escapes her as she notes she’s about the same size as the russet one -  _ and yet far shorter in human form _ .

With another snort she takes off, her paws carrying her deep into the woods as she shuts off her mind, allowing the freeing feeling of being the wolf to overtake her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : Reviews are love and highly appreciated** \- Sooooo I was going to drag out Skylar’s secrets but then this chapter happened this way and boom they got revealed. Of course, technically she’s still keeping the secret of her relationship with Bella. And well, _her daughter too technically_. But there is still more drama to come, as she has yet to run into Paul ( _which is the next chapter_ ) so buckle in. **_The angst is just getting started._**
> 
> Thank you so much for your support. _You guys are amazing._


	8. Into a strangers eyes.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- September -**

As far as she was concerned there was no greater feeling than being in wolf form -  _ okay that wasn’t true _ \- the best feeling was when she was with Emmie-Jo. Being in her wolf form was the second best feeling in the world. The way her more animalistic side took over, transforming the energy that crackled over her sin daily into pure unadulterated freedom. She had been chasing other ways to get that feeling for years and had yet to find it.  _ Nothing beat the wolf _ .

_ Even if she was slightly scared of it _ .

Sam hadn’t only made her scared of him but he had made her scared of the form that she shared.  _ Whilst she accepted the wolf _ , soaking it into her every pore, every thought and every crevice of her soul. She would forever be scared of what damage it could cause. For she had been on the wrong side of it,  _ she had been the victim _ . And for that reason, she had worked her ass off to control her form.

It was how she was able to be in the military without the threat of losing control. That and well she was a  _ different type of wolf _ than those of the Quileute tribe.

Behind her she could hear the rhythmic pounding of paws -  _ her brother and Jacob _ \- and she smirks internally at how close they were. They were quick, but so was she. With a slight push off her paws, she shoots forward, her powerful strides gaining in intensity and she can hear the sounds of them drifting away as she dodged and weaved through the trees as though she’d been running in that forest for years. Her instincts were leading the way and right now, she was thankful for that.

Reaching out with her mind to make sure none of her packmates was within range -  _ she wouldn’t doubt that _ \- she sighs in bliss as she’s greeted by nothing but silence. In the decade Skylar had been a shape-shifter, she had learnt to shield her thoughts, her eidetic memory giving her an edge in that, but right now she wasn’t sure she could protect any of her thoughts if she tried.  _ Her mind was too chaotic _ .

She allows her thoughts to trail to ten years ago when everything had happened. All of it playing out like some grotesque movie, and yet it was her life. She replays the moment her father had walked into the hospital room and announced she was taking her back to Colorado. Her mother hadn’t even argued, she just looked dejected and let it happen. Not even her uncle had argued with her father,  _ no one did but Sonny _ . And it had only been the promise that he could visit, that had quietened his tears.

The memory shifts to show her the two days she spent recovering in the bedroom that had only ever been hers during the summers - with Leiah at her bedside, a stranger at the time caring for her and helping to tend to the wounds. She then remembers the third day, when her pain had gotten so intense she could do nothing but scream for hours on end. And just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, her body had propelled forward and instead of landing on her hands and knees.  _ She landed on four paws _ .

It took her three days to return to her human form - she spent that time running in the forests of Colorado as her mind whirled with every thought she had ever had. Voices had filtered into her mind as she ran. The other members of the pack trying to help her, but it had just made her run harder and father - confusion was not a good feeling when you’re _ more animal than human _ .

When she’d managed to become human once more, she found herself in an area she didn’t recognise and indescribable energy simmering inside of her bones. Her father had found her and the next few hours were filled with him explaining what she was and how her blood had called forth the animal within. It was then that she learnt she was destined to be a wolf, either by her father’s genes or by her mother’s.  _ There was no escaping it _ .

Her father had been patient with her, explaining how every one of the blackwater pack shifts  _ when they’re eighteen _ , and how every one of the Quileute tribe shifts if a vampire is near - so she was basically rolling dice and playing fate on which side of the fence she landed. And given her ‘changes’ had first kicked in three months before she turned eighteen -  _ she had indeed been playing fate _ .

An idealism that was further confirmed when Sonny had visited when he was fourteen - he was a wolf. An influx of vampires had meant her brother was no trust headfirst into the vampire world. His Quileute genes activating and thus he was a wolf. It only further solidified her father’s way of thinking - that if Sky had changed before she was eighteen, she too would have been bound to La Push. Just like Sonny.

Despite all this, it had been nice to hear that she wasn’t some out of control child and in reality, there was a perfectly normal -  _ normal for her anyway  _ \- an explanation as to why she was now craving violence. It was the beast inside of her. But she also knew her life had changed, she was now part of a world that would always be there, gone was her normalcy. She was a wolf, and with it came a ton of shit she couldn’t escape.

By the time she got control once more she knew she needed to do something, she needed something that would give her a purpose for the life she had been thrust into. And in came her uncle, her godfather Ryan told her about the marines and almost instantly -  _ she signed up _ . Okay so she technically cheated during the physical stuff given the wolf gave her advantage but the marines gave her control.

From there her life became a routine of being a soldier -  _ either with the marines or with the pack _ \- she was fighting in two different wars. And whilst she had stepped back from the Marines since giving birth to Emmie-Jo, it didn’t stop the other war she was fighting, that her dad was fighting.

_ It was a never-ending cycle _ . And one she thrived within.

Her ear flicks around as she notes the sound of frantic paws, the trajectory of them propelling them straight into her path. Growling low in her throat she speeds up, the wind whipping through her pelt almost violently as she works to outrun the one who was after her. She didn’t care if they were a _ friend or not _ \- they’d come upon her without her noticing, and that made them a threat.

The smell of salt drifts into her senses and she veers off to the left, her paws pounding against the ground as she cuts through the air. Stopping at the edge of the forest she shifts back before walking forward on two feet. Arms stretched above her as she eases out the tension in her frame, her shirt raising up and over her stomach -  _ she kept her clothes when she shifted _ \- as she listens for the wolf, noting they were only a few steps behind her. So she’d been right in her guess,  _ they wanted her _ .

She walks towards the edge of the cliff, dragging in deep lungfuls of the air as she relishes in the taste of salt hitting the back of her throat. Walking to the edge she sits down, swinging her legs over the edge as she once more loses herself in the feeling of total nothing. She didn’t have somewhere like this in Colorado -  _ where she could escape _ \- and it was probably the one place she missed about La Push. The place she could come and just be insignificant,  _ invisible and just think _ .

The air shifting behind her was all she needed, tension bleeding into her frame as she sits taut and ready for an attack. Every one of her senses on high alert as she listens and waits for the next move. It was morbidly amusing at how that was her life now, always on guard -  _ both as a wolf and as a woman _ \- her two worlds bleeding into one and meaning she couldn’t just trust anyone. Always assessing, always prepared for a threat.

Yet she wasn’t prepared for the scent that _ invades her senses _ \- the sheer impact of it coiling around her has her gasping, breathe stolen on an exhale as she grips the cliff edge tightly. The sharpness of the rock cutting into the skin of her palm, the minute pain offering her a reprieve as she fights to control herself. To give off an edge of nonchalance as she sits there -  _ refusing to let his close proximity bother her _ . Or at least to show it wasn’t bothering her.

“ Hello, Paul  **–** ” 

The whisper settles on the air, his deep inhale of breathe the only sign she had that he’d heard her. But she doesn’t move, despite how every fibre of her body was trying to get her to turn around and run to him, she stays where she’s sitting, her eyes looking out and seeing nothing. She counts the beats of his heart, each one ringing inside of her eardrums like a clap of thunder -  _ and yet he doesn’t speak _ .

Rubbing her hands along the seams of her shorts -  _ getting rid of dry blood and rock dust _ \- she shifts, standing to her full height as she stabilises herself. Turning, her eyes land on his stomach, whiskey eyes tracking over every dip and curve of his muscles as she lifts up, mapping out the golden expanse of his skin. She and known the territory ten years ago, she could tell where every scar lived and how each muscle felt under her fingers. But now - now it was as strange to her as the man himself. She couldn’t recognise any of them, the whispers of a memory clinging to the precipice of her mind.

A decade had passed and with it,  _ everything had changed _ .

Eyes pass over the deep set of his shoulders, the curve of his neck. The sharp angles of his face until her eyes land on the obsidian pits of Paul’s gaze. She had once thought that his eyes resemble starless midnight in their intensity. Now it was molten heat, ready to burn whoever dared to look within them. And oh was she burning, every nerve setting on fire beneath her skin.

Yet it was the response of her wolf that has her swaying on the spot. The urge from before to be near him only grows as her wolf declares what she’d already know -  **_Mate_ ** \- and yet the intensity of the knowledge leaves her head spinning. Nothing else felt important,  _ her daughter barely staying as her main priority _ as Paul took over every sense and instinct. Confusion lacing through her mind for a moment as she wonders why she’d not felt this before - and then it slams into her like a freight train.

_ It was the first time she’d met his gaze since becoming a wolf _ .

Even with her head swimming from the intensity of what she was feeling, her wolf clamouring away inside of her trying to claw it’s way free, she doesn’t miss the look in his eyes. She had thought Sam was different,  _ but it was nothing on Paul _ .

He had always had a sense of danger that oozed off him, the aura of it having everyone at arm’s length.  _ Everyone but her _ . And yet now she could feel it pushing against her, seeping into her skin and causing a shiver of tension to roll down her spine. Her eyes remain glued firmly with his and she can see the fire burning within -  _ threatening to consume her  _ \- and she knew she was the one that put it there.

She is granted a reprieve as he looks away, his eyes tracking over her frame. A reverse path she’d taken with him as his eyes danced over every line of her face, down her chest and towards her toned stomach. Her shirt was clinging to the sweat still coating her skin and showing off the muscles that lay underneath. His eyes linger for a moment in the area they both knew had once been ripped apart -  _ a dark look casting over his face _ .

She shifts from one foot to the other under his scrutiny as his eyes finally move from her stomach and down her legs, stopping on a few of the scars that littered her calves and down before they return upwards. Slower than the first pass and she honestly felt naked under his gaze. All of her flaws laid out for him to see -  _ even if the worst were covered by her shirt _ \- and a small part of her wanting to know if he appreciated how she looked.

It was stupid thinking and as his eyes land on her face once more, she knew a feral glint to her eyes as she berated herself for thinking like that. For allowing herself to be that weak - _ to allow a mans opinion _ to matter over her own. Even if that man was Paul and her mate. She was a fucking soldier for crying out loud. And she was a born fucking alpha on top of that.  _ She wouldn’t bow to any man _ .

Straightening her shoulders she feels her masks slip back into place - indifference clouding her features as she stares forward. Her eyes locked firmly with his and  _ relishing in the flames of his anger _ . The second’s tick by as she stands before her ex - the only man who could truly say he’d tamed her once. The one man who cooled the wildfire that burned within her. But she’d changed since then,  _ and so had he _ .

Shaking her head she moves to walk past him, not in the mood for the silent treatment. She wasn’t an idiot - she had ignored the ‘ _ mating bond _ ’ for ten years and whilst initially, she was blind to it. Even after finding out she never came home. And the damage of that choice was stood before her,  _ gone was the boy she knew _ , now was a bokeh man. Rejected by his imprint, only for her to come waltzing back.

_ Wow, she had a high opinion of herself _ .

As she levels up with where he’s standing she can feel the heat rolling off his skin and washing over her own. A gasp fluttering off her lips as her front slams into the nearest tree. The close proximity to Paul having caused a lapse in her judgement and provided _him with the opportunity to take control_. Her fingers grip into the bark of the tree as she waits for his move. Her military instincts pulsing inside her head and telling her to remove the weakness of her back.  
  
“ _Skylar_ **–** ” 

One word, wrapped in the most decadent tasting honey has her fighting the whimper that was gathering in her throat. Her body was betraying her, wanting to give in to the mating bond,  _ wanting him to own her _ . She guessed she should be thankful that her head was still in charge. And her head knew that there was too much settled between them for that. They had to heal to move on, and she had to make up for her mistakes. 

_ If she wanted too _ .

His heat curls along her back like a delicate caress, wrapping her in a cocoon that was completely Paul and chocking her in his scent. Reminding her that this all once belonged to her, that one she had his heart completely and was his girl.  _ Now she was a stranger _ , a woman who had abandoned him and turned his heart to ice. A notion that is confirmed by his harsh grip on her hips,  _ rough and uncontrolled _ , a far cry from how they used to be.

“ What did you come back for Skylar  **?** ” he growls, his breath washing over the shell of her ear. “ You turned your back on La Push, remember  **!** ” 

She can hear the underlying words, the ones he wasn’t speaking and she can feel her wolf whimpering inside, hurt by her actions towards their mate. And at that moment, she realised she was really going to hate this mating business. She was at constant war with keeping her mind her own and bowing to Paul’s  _ every wish and whim _ .

“ I came back for my brother’s wedding,” she growls, thankful that her words are far steadier than her thoughts. “ After all,  _ he’s the one thing I still care about here _ . The one who never turned his back on me, one who didn’t choose an alpha order over his imprint  **!** ” 

She knew she was aiming low, but she wanted to see his response. To know the way of his thoughts in regards to the alpha order. Jacob had said he was looking for a loophole,  _ and she already knew one existed _ . One question, asking if she was truly afraid - and the alpha order would have crumbled to dust.

“ Says the imprint who fucked off for ten years. Nice to know _you truly loved me trouble_ **!** ” 

The use of her old nickname, uttered so callously has her whimpering, her head falling forward against the cruel bark of the tree. She barely takes notice of the scratching of her skin and instead zones in completely on the movement of Paul’s hand. His fingers ghosting over her hip and the flesh exposed by her shirt and over, across her stomach and down till they reach the tip of her jean sorts before stopping.

The thumb on his other hand -  _ the one still holding her prisoner _ \- rubs idly over one of the scars littering her skin and she can immediately recall the reason it was on her skin. Yet all thought escapes her as his other hand teases across the waistband of her trousers, her stomach clenching against the feel of his movements.

“ We both know the true reason you came back, ” he croons, his voice even darker than before. Clouded in emotion she couldn’t name right now. 

A gasp rips its way free of her lips as she feels his hand move down between the barrier of her clothes and slip beneath the flimsy one of her underwear with a  _ speed that leaves her dizzy _ . A low growl rumbles in his chest and she feels it vibrate against her back, each ripple of nerve shaking her frame.

“ So wet, ” he purrs “ You still belong to me and me alone,  _ trouble _ , you always have. ”

Finally, her body catches up with her mind as she grabs his wrist, wrenching it free from where it had slipped and using both her  _ supernatural speed and military training _ , she switches positions. Bracing herself she looks up from where she has him pinned against the tree. Her hand squeezing his wrist to the point she can feel his bones groaning from the tension.

“  _ A long time ago I belonged to you _ , Paul. But now I am not your property, and you will not touch me without my permission ever again. ” She could feel the lupine power coating her every word, her gaze focusing sharply and she knows her wolf was coming out, only strengthening her words. “ I hurt you,  _ I get that _ . You wanna punish me, go right ahead. I don’t care. ” 

She pushes away and moves backwards, escaping his touch as she looks firmly into his eyes. Saying words that had been silenced for ten years.

“ Ten years ago you were my whole fucking world, in a way that wasn’t even remotely healthy. My anger was only calmed in your arms, and without you,  _ I went fucking insane _ . You’ve owned my heart for the last decade but now, now I’m a mother with a daughter who needs me. I will not allow you, or an imprint to consume every part of me again. I just won’t. ” 

She sighs softly, her fingers running through her hair as she fights through the emotions that were clogging her throat. This wasn’t how she’d expected this to go, but then again none of her return had gone how she planned it. She had hoped to stay away from those she’d known till at least the wedding day, or when she had more back-up. And well,  _ hope died fucking screaming _ .

“ We are two different people. Wanting two different things. ” 

She shots the words over her shoulder as once more she walks away from him, something she seemed to be doing a lot in terms of Paul and yet, she didn’t do it without suffering. Her heart feeling as though it was going to beat out of her chest. And there was more to her words,  _ more she was hiding _ , yet she wasn’t sure if she should voice them. 

_ Not when she would be leaving again _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love and highly appreciated >_** \- So did you like the look into the inner workings of _the blackwater pack??_ I tried to make sure they were different but at the same time, recognisable enough as shifters that Sonny choosing the Quileute pack made sense. If something looked off then let me know and I’ll revise it. Your criticism is welcome.
> 
> Also, I am amused at what one of you lovely reviewers pointed out - about how the blackwater name is also the _ship name for Jacob and Leah_ \- I didn’t realise that when I was writing this. _So oops_. And yeah, Paul and Skylar will not be all roses and unicorns anytime soon. Too much pain for that. ( for right now)


	9. Scars tell a story.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- September -**

They say that every scar has a story, some that are forgotten in the darkest crevices of a mind. Some that bring untold joy to a person’s lips as they remember the act, and then some, some are a mixture of both. Your heart both breaks and swells with the burden of joy and pain. 

Skylar knew this better than most, she carried many scars. She liked to categorise them as before and after.  _ Before her transformation and afterwards _ . 

From the small scars littering her hands and knees from a fulfilled childhood, cocooned in love and joy of two parents. To the small scar riding her little finger from the glass she broke on the day she watched her father drive away from the family home. The scar that rode her hairline - that came from protecting her baby brother from a bully that was far bigger than her - a scar that put her in the path of  _ Paul Lahote _ . And of course the many scars on her hands that came from fights, both on her own and with Paul beside her.

She especially remembered the story behind the jagged cut that rode her thigh. It was the day she and Paul had decided to go cliff diving drunk and she’d slammed into the rocks. She remembered that day, not because of the six-inch cut that rode her skin and tainted the sea with red - but because it was the day Paul had told her  _ he loved her _ . 

And of course, the scars Sam Uley gave her that would forever alter not just her body  _ but also her life _ .

Then there’s the after scars, even with supernatural healing her body still scarred. Her healing faster than that of humans but so was the process of getting a scar. As though her nature was taunting her that whilst she healed from every wound. That healing came at a price -  _ she would never be able to forget _ . Not because of her mind, but because her skin would forever carry the story.

There were the fifteen bullet wounds that mapped across her skin like a twisted star system. The four knife wounds from a hand to hand fight that had nearly cost her,  _ her life _ . And of course, the scar just below her heart - a scar she’d received the day she lost far more than she had ever wanted to lose in her life. She had died, and yet,  _ she lived _ . But she had changed irrevocably that day, finding that the girl she once was, was no more.

Layla would say that Skylar still had some hidden trauma over the attack, the fact she’d been stabbed in the heart haunting her. But it wasn’t what haunted her, she’d lost her team that day and that was what haunted her more - the fact she lost friends - she could have died that day and that would have been her only regret. Or so she’d tell Layla.

And then, of course, there were the two scars that  _ now carried the most weight _ . 

The scar that was caused ten years ago when she walked away from Paul, the pain ripping her apart and half of her heart dying with the action. Even after she had been told the tales, even when she pieced the others together -  _ the imprint _ \- she didn’t come home. She didn’t come back to the man that belonged to her, to the man that owned her heart. And every day after that, her heart died a little every day.

A scar that yesterday she ripped wide open and was  _ now bleeding once more _ . She hadn’t slept the previous night as she ran everything over in her mind. Berating herself for being angry, she had no reason to be. She was the villain in the situation with Paul -  _ she ran away _ and basically denied the imprint for ten years. And he was the victim, the one bound by an unbreakable bond. And no illusions she painted could have broken that. He was the only one with the full right to be angry.  _ He did _ .

The other scar that carried the most weight -  _ was the scar that brought her daughter into the world _ \- the emergency cesarean that had Skylar feeling fear for the second time in her life. The fear that she would lose the one thing that could save her soul. Her angel, her baby. And when the small bundle had been placed into her arms -  _ for the smallest of seconds _ \- her heart had healed. She had felt the true touch of unconditional love.

The downside was that scar connected to the one on her heart. Without the one on her heart, the other wouldn’t have happened. Oh, she knew she would have had children,  _ with Paul _ and she’d have loved them unconditionally, but she wouldn’t have Emmie-Jo. She wouldn’t have found a reason to fight when it felt like her whole world was falling apart.

And she wondered, did that make her selfish,  _ or just tragic _ .

She’s violently broken from her musings by a small hand crashing down on her cheek, an infectious and innocent giggle filtering through her hearing as she turns her eyes to see a mischievous two-year-old grinning down at her. Moving quickly, Skylar reaches forward and begins to pepper kisses all over her daughter’s face, Emmie-Jo’s innocent laughter chasing away the  _ darkness of her thoughts _ .

Holding her daughter close as the laughter dies down, she breathes in deeply, dragging in the scent of her daughter as she sighs softly. Her breathe fluttering over her daughter’s head and settling heavily in the air.

“ Never forget that mommy loves you, ” she mutters. “ You are the one thing I’ve ever done right. ” 

“ I know  **–** ” a pause that has Skylar chuckling softly. “ I wuv you, mommy. ” 

“ Love you, baby girl. ” she can feel the tears gathering and fights them away. Refusing to allow her daughter to see her like this, to see the damage that resided within. The damage Skylar had done herself. “ Come on little monster, let’s get some pancakes. ” 

Her daughter’s cheers are the only medicine she needs as she peels herself from the bed, her arms scooping up the hyperactive toddler and heading out the room. As she descends the stairs she sees her dad stood at the bottom, a barely concealed smile on his face. But she could see in his eyes, he had figured out she hadn’t slept and  _ probably knew the reason _ .

Placing a hand on his shoulder as she passes, she hopes to convey the silent message that she was okay. She was anything but, but it was her burden. _ It was the price she was to pay _ . She would carry it silently and instead focus on what was in front of her, which was right now feeding her daughter.

Emmie-Jo keeps up a constant stream of babbling as Skylar sets to making her favourite choc chip pancakes and finds the smiles growing easier with each passing second. The pain from before receding to a manageable amount. She could still feel it,  _ slowly chipping away at her soul _ , but she could manage it. She could wear the mask and pretend that everything was okay.

_ If only for a moment _ .

She barely takes notice when her dad disappears, his words of spending the day with Sonny filtering in between the laughter of her daughter and for a moment she can forget the underlying meaning. He was giving her space - allowing her the room to put herself back together. Letting her tell her lie for a little longer until _ she believed it herself _ .

It was her father’s one quality that she truly adored -  _ he didn’t hover _ . If something was bugging someone, he gave them space to think it through and was then when he was needed. He was different than her mother in that regard - she knew if Emmie Black was here, she’d keep pestering until she got to the bottom of what was bugging her. And given how Skylar felt about her right now, she wasn’t sure  _ she wouldn’t throw a fist _ .

A knock rings out the cavernous room, cutting through the laughter as Skylar raises her head from Emmie-Jo’s stomach where seconds previous she had been making loud and obnoxious noises just to make the toddler laugh. Holding her close she walks towards the door, trepidation bleeding into her system at who could be on the other side. Was it someone else come to rub in her mistakes, or was it someone else to piss her off.

It was going either way with her current return home.

Yet the face on the other side is a welcome one and she can feel a wide grin stretching out her face as she sees Leah Clearwater standing on the other side. Ten years had done her friend well, she still looked as gorgeous as Skylar remembered her to be, and yet she could also see the other changes. Changes Skylar knew too well and could spot a mile away.

“ Damn mama  **–** ” Leah whistles, her eyes comically dragging up and down Skylar’s frame. “ Now I know why Paul’s head is spinning with memories of the two of you. Especially when you look like that. ” 

Hearing Paul’s name is like a knife to her already sensitive heart and she knows she doesn’t hide the wince well, Leah’s face clouding with sympathy almost instantly as she looks at her friend. 

“ Now, who is this little lady. ” Leah says instead, turning not only her attention but also the conversation towards Emmie-Jo.

“ Leah, meet Emmie-Jo. ” She smiles hitching the toddle higher up her hip. “ Emmie-Jo, meet Leah. One of mommy’s best friends from a long time ago. ” 

The words aren’t a jibe, even if they sounded like one. As Skylar was just as to blame for not keeping in touch with Leah, as the other one was with her. Skylar’s reason had been that it was Leah she was pushing out the way during Sam’s attack, and talking to the elder girl would have only reminded her of that. A stupid reason but one that made sense at first, and soon Leah just became another distant memory. Like the rest of La Push.

“ Leayah  **–** ” Emmie-Jo pouts, almost guessing she had gotten the name wrong.

“ You can call me Lee-Lee if it’s easier. ” Leah smiles.

The two soon laughing as Emmie-Jo happily repeats the name Lee-Lee over and over again, finding pure happiness in the fact she could pronounce that right. And that it was also a new name she had learned. Her innocence was something Skylar honestly found to be a wonder - she could barely remember a time when she had been that sweet, that pure.

She moves to allow the she-wolf to enter the house and as Skylar places Emmie-Jo down, the two watch as she runs over to her toys before Skylar turns and pulls her old friend into a hug,

“ It’s been too long Lee, ” she whispers. 

The words getting lost in the raven locks of her friend’s hair. Her arms tightening as though she could convey her guilt through the simple action. And as she feels Leah’s squeeze just as hard in response she knows Leah was wishing the same. 

“ Far too long Ragnulf. ”

Pulling apart the two smile weakly before Skylar switches into host mode and offers Leah a coffee, the ease of their friendship soon returning as they both drink the bitter liquid. Their usual banter and camaraderie flashing back from the dusty corners of the past as they idly chit chat, playing catch up without digging deep into what either truly wanted to know.

It was a large elephant in the room, Leah no doubt wanting to know what Skylar had been doing for ten years, as well as about Emmie-Jo. And Skylar wanting to subtly ask her friend what had been happening the last ten years, what she had missed since she left. Yet the awkwardness doesn’t last long, before they both find the opening they needed -  _ well Skylar did _ .

“ My change was a shock, mostly to Sam given I was still bitter over the break-up and then what he did to you. ” Leah spits. “ He also ignored me when I asked if someone had called you to see if you were okay. As my change was so reminiscent of what happened to you, it seemed almost haunting. And well here you are as a wolf,  _ so I was right _ . ”

Yeah Skylar herself had been wondering why no one reached out to her after Leah changed, but that was a hole she wasn’t digging into right now.

“ What is his issue, he seems more of an ass since I was last here. ”

She whispers most of the sentence just so Emmie-Jo doesn’t hear as well she wasn’t about to have her daughter going around and calling everyone an ass. Even if it would be the most amusing thing she had ever heard. She had to be responsible. 

“ Oh, you won’t believe this. But do you remember  _ Isabella Swan _ , Charlie’s daughter  **?** ” It took everything within Skylar to simply nod and not give in to the look of surprise that wanted to colour her face.

“ Well, she’s Sam’s imprint. A few months or so after you left, she was left abandoned in the forest by her boyfriend. Who by the way was a vampire, can you believe that. And well Sam went to find her and boom imprint. But Bella took her vamp boyfriend back and a ton of drama happened and she ended up marrying him. ”

Yeah, Skylar already knew all this but she just simply nods along with the story, pretending it was the first time she had heard it. As it was,  _ in terms of the imprint _ .

“ Anyway she got a divorce not long after her wedding and  _ no one has seen her since _ . Not even Sam knows where she is, and he’s been looking. So yeah he’s kinda shut down because his imprint was gone, just like Paul did. Honestly being in their heads these last ten years have been hell. All anger and rage at the  _ women who left them _ . ”

Leah’s eyes widen as she realises the babble she had just let loose and Skylar smiles softly showing it was okay. She had expected Paul to be angry, she had found that much out herself yesterday. And she didn’t blame Leah for letting it accidentally slip out. Instead, she was far more curious about what she’d just found out.

“ So did Bella know. About the imprint I mean. ” Sky asks setting her now empty cup down on the coffee table.

“ No, Sam never told her. Her mind-raping vampire husband had to know for sure but we don’t know if he told her, because of course. Bella booked it for some reason and hasn’t even been in touch with Charlie. ”

Oh, Skylar was for sure phoning Bella later.

Her head tilts as she notes a change in Leah’s eyes, curiosity brimming as she reaches out placing a heated hand on Leah’s elbow.

“ What’s wrong Lee. ”

“ It’s just. I don’t understand how Paul and Sam can be angry their imprints left them. When at least they got imprints. Jesus, I’m a broken freak who can never have children. My change stole that opportunity the moment it stole my god damn periods. And I’d give anything for that, and an imprint. ”

Well,  _ this conversation took a turn _ .

“ You’re not broken Leah  **–** ” she comments shifting closer to her friend, her hand grabbing the others and holding tightly. “ I haven’t had a period in ten years, not since I shifted. And there is a valid reason for it. ” 

Her friend’s attention snaps straight to her and Skylar understands at that moment that whatever she was about to say was the greatest thing Leah had ever heard. How can she not have periods and still have a child?  _ She could feel the anger burning within _ , anger that Leah had to go through this with no guidance. Guilt settling in that she hadn’t reached out and helped given what they shared. Even if she didn’t know, she shouldn’t have turned away from her friend.

“ The whole process of a period is our womb wall breaking down and cleaning itself out only to repeat it a month later, right  **_?_ ** ” she asks softly, and at Leah’s answering nod she continues. “  _ Leah we have advanced healing.  _ Our bodies protect us from any injury by healing itself faster than a normal human, thus returning us to fighting fit and shucking off most stuff that would kill a human. And as far as our periods are concerning that.  _ It’s an injury _ , thus the moment our womb breaks down, our body heals itself. ” 

She lets the words settle between them. Heavy in the air and Skylar knew there was a reason. She’d had other female shapeshifters -  _ older ones with children _ \- who had silenced her worries over her missing period and ability to have children. But Leah had no one, and once more she felt like the worlds shittest friend.

“ I won’t lie, Lee, our hormones are really out of whack so having a child takes time. It took me eight years of unprotected fun to have Emmie-Jo. ” she smiles as Leah chuckles, amused at Skylar’s save about sex with Emmie-Jo in the room. “ But you will, and can, have children, honey.  _ I swear to you _ . ” 

A tear rolls down Leah’s face but Skylar can also see relief starting to brighten her eyes and features. As well as much more unasked questions

“ _And before you ask_ **–** ” she quips lightly. “ The boys will never scent your hormone shifts _until you imprint_ , the animal side of ourselves protects us when we’re unmated. Stops anyone from claiming that which belongs to someone else. _Or so I was told_. And yes I was mated, t _echnically_ , but I’d not fulfilled the bond. After that, our hormone changes can potentially become a lot more alert to our pack members. ” 

She wasn’t sure she was explaining that bit well and makes a mental note to see if Alycia would be willing to come to Washington. The eldest female shifter of the pack and mother to five kids,  _ or as Skylar liked to call her _ , her guide to being a female shape-shifter.

“ But I can’t imprint  **–** ” Leah starts to argue and Skylar really felt like hitting someone.  _ Sam preferably _ .

“ Lee, I imprinted on Paul yesterday, _well my packs version of it_ **–** ” she shrugs. “ So if I can, you can **!** ” 

Pulling Leah into her side, she shushes her friend softly as she feels the she-wolf break down even more at the comfort. As though Skylar had just lifted a weight that _had been crushing her for years_ and now she could let it all out. And all Skylar could do was comfort her through it all. To help her recover whatever it was that _she had just lost along the way_. Small hands touching her knee has Skylar looking down to see that Emmie-Jo had moved closer. Her jade green eyes set firmly on Leah.  
  
“ _Don’ cwy Lee-Lee_ **–** ” she whispers softly, yet both wolves hear her clearly.

Skylar watches in  _ concealed adoration _ as her daughter pulls herself up and against the tall frame of Leah’s body. Her small hands gripping Leah’s face gently as she wipes away the tears cutting trails down tanned skin. Skylar continues to run her hand through Leah’s hair as Emmie-Jo  _ wipes away the tears _ . A chocked sob falling off Leah’s lips as Emmie-Jo hugs her close and Leah wraps her own around the toddler in return. 

She knew in that precise moment Emmie-Jo had just secured herself the most overprotective aunt to exist. At that moment Leah would do anything for the small child that was offering her comfort unselfishly. And as whiskey coloured eyes meet hazel brown, Skylar knew it was the same for her. She had helped Leah, and Leah would kill for her.

“ Anytime you need me, Lee. I’m here. ” She vows softly, wolf power coiling around the words making it a decree between the two of them. A promise between the two she-wolves of La Push. “  _ You’re not doing this alone anymore. _ ” 

Yeah, the scar that brought her daughter into the world  _ was indeed worth it _ . Even if it meant she was now drowning in the pain of another, for her daughter was the one good thing she had ever done. The one pure thing born from the darkness and destruction that was her.

“ One day Lee  **–** ” She mutters as she leans against her friend. “ You will find your soulmate, and you will have some amazing children and be the mother to make all moms jealous. And through it all, your pain will have made sense, it will have made you ready to be the better version of yourself. ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- Honestly how am I doing with this story? I’ve got people hitting that unfollow and unfavourite button with every other chap. So I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Please tell me what, so I can improve. Please??
> 
> In other news, as you can see in this chap I decided to add my own spin on the smeyer bullshit of Leah not having her periods. And hopefully did it in a way that makes sense. And well there’s nothing wrong with some female bonding between wolf friends.
> 
> If you feel I should have done it a different way. Please let me know. I won’t take offence, promise. Just let me know what you truly think, _good or bad_!


	10. Fell in love with a devil.

Fingers reach out grasping the blankets and pulling them back, as a tall lithe frame bends down placing the drowsy toddler beneath them. Absentmindedly she reaches out pushing strands of Emmie-Jo’s dark hair from her face, seeing the tiredness that was settling within her daughters face. And yet she could see the joy still sparkling within her eyes.

After the heavy conversation with Leah, the elder she-wolf had taken to bonding with Emmie-Jo, which had resulted in all three of them either laughing to the point of tears of being covered in glitter. Glitter that Skylar was sure had snuck its way into places glitter should never be. But she didn’t care - seeing the smiles that had stretched both Leah and Emmie-Jo’s faces wide -  _ made all of it worth it _ .

She had forgotten when the last time was that she’d seen Leah smile that way, with nothing burgeoning her, and instead just relishing in the simple act of having fun. And well, as a mother, the only thing she wanted was for her daughter to be  _ happy and carefree _ . So to know that Leah had helped make that possible, it definitely made having glitter where it shouldn’t be a small price to pay.

“ Mommy, what is a swoulmwate ? ”

The soft voice brings her attention to Emmie-Jo’s face, innocence pouring from every crevice and yet a strange curiosity brimming inside of her eyes. She couldn’t help but smirk at the question, she and Leah had brought it up at random times, both during the much-needed conversation and as they watched movies after dinner. And well she had initially assumed that Emmie-Jo wasn’t paying attention - but she was quickly learning her daughter was  _ far too smart for her own good _ .

“ I’ll tell you when you’re older. ” she smirks crouching down at the side of the bed to be met with the cutest pout.

“ Mommy. ”

A mental note is made to kill Bella for teaching Emmie-Jo the perfect pout. Yet not all the blame lie with Bella, it was Skylar’s own inability to say no to anything Emmie-Jo wanted. It was the reason she had yet to go back to the military - _ extending her time off  _ \- she didn’t want to be away from her daughter. And yet the military gave her the answer to her need for violence. It was a violent circle she was trapped inside.

_ Yet her daughter would always come first _ .

Leaning her elbows on the bed she grins at Emmie-Jo but shakes her head once more. “ When you’re older. We’ll revisit that topic.  _ Not when you’re tired _ . Now sleep little monster. ”

Leaning over she presses her lips against the curve of Emmie-Jo’s cheek before pulling away and grasping the blankets making sure her daughter was tucked in. Turning on the nightlight that was situated on the bedside table, she looks over her daughter once more before slipping from the room, the door falling shut silently behind her.

Though as the silence of the house - her father missing once more due to being needed for something - has her mind churning with the words her daughter had spoken so innocently. What is a soulmate  **?** . Because all Skylar knew was she needed to re-evaluate that small little thought given how shit she had been to hers.

She’d had the same line of conversation with Bella once -  _ whilst being ten beers deep _ \- not long after Bella had revealed about the Cullen’s and her marriage to the overgrown tween member of the coven. It had probably been the most random conversation that she’d ever had. After all, she’d never truly given much thought to the prospect of soulmates, even knowing she was an imprint and a wolf so they were a deep part of her life. Why did she have too, she had no intention of returning to La Push.

And of course, _ she had no idea at that time _ , that Bella was Sam’s imprint.

But during the conversation, Skylar had said that your soulmate was the one person who knew you, wholly and didn’t judge. They took every aspect of you, good and bad and still loved you. They didn’t make you want to be a better person because with them you were already the better version of yourself. They made you strong and held you when you were weak.

Now she was wondering if she even knew herself. Back then she had been thinking of Paul -  _ and not just a fleeting thought _ \- as she spoke those words. Remembering how it was whenever she was with him. She could be the angry girl she was, she could be covered in someone else’s blood. And nothing changed the look in his eyes, those obsidian orbs were always filled with love and care just for her. She wasn’t a monster in his eyes and nothing she did would make it so.

W _ ell back then _ . 

And yet she was one now. Not only because of the wolf inside of her, or the blood that stained her hand in military campaigns. She was a monster because of how she acted, both ten years ago and the day previous. She shunned the one thing that was destined to be hers, and she did it with a calmness that was disturbing. Even to her now.

Yesterday she had gone from putty in Paul’s hands to a stranger with the blink of an eye. He had the power to make her come undone, both in body and mind, and that was what truly scared her. When she was eighteen the fact that he held that power didn’t bother her, but now knowing that her wolf was strong and so was her will. To know he could still make her come undone -  _ truly scared her _ .

And after the treatment of her at Sam’s hands, she wasn’t sure if Paul would do the same. Would he follow his alpha’s orders once more and shun the imprint. She knew the rules of the animal, even her father’s orders couldn’t outweigh a mating bond. He could only bind the wolf so far but not in a way that had us turning from our mate, they became our everything. So a part of him, however, small had given the previous order weight.

_ The fact he didn’t want her scared _ .

It was a fucking mess, all of it was. Both ten years ago, and at this moment. All of it was a tangled mess and she wasn’t sure she would be able to climb out from underneath it all. If she’d be able to breathe normally once more with the weight of it all gripping her heart with such intensity. She prayed for it, both to the gods her father prayed to and Taha Aki, anyone to give her the strength to figure it out.  _ To carry on _ .

“ Fuck. ” she whispers out, words swirling around her.

“ Amen to that. ”

She’s not ashamed to admit that the ringing out of a honeyed bass has her jumping out of her skin, eyes searching wildly before they level on the originator of the voice.  _ Paul _ , shirtless and perched on the back of the couch, his elbows indolently resting on his knees. His expression was a complex mixture of overstated concern and private amusement. Eyes resting on the vodka bottle resting between his fingers, swinging idly by his movements.

“ Why are you here ? ” she snaps, sounding far more annoyed than she truly was. She wasn’t annoyed, more she was covering the fact of how her heart was racing from his sheer presence.

“Getting drunk. If possible. ”

She watches idly as he lifts the bottle to his lips and gulps down a large mouthful -  _ idly she notes she recognizes the bottle _ \- her hands having been the ones to stuff it under the sink the previous night. It had three partners originally but she’d downed them in a bid to chase away memories. But chasing away anything with alcohol was something she could no longer do. Her supernatural metabolism burning out the alcohol as fast as she put it into her body and keeping her in a fighting fit state.

A deep sigh flutters off her lips as she shakes her head, his mere presence swallowing her attention whole and making it almost impossible to tear her aways away. It was reminiscent of a trainwreck - glorious in its destruction and yet she was unable to look away. She wanted to witness the ending, watching as everything turned to ash in the fires. Her heart caught among the embers.

“ Paul – ” 

“ You spoke of how we want two different things. ” her body grows rigid from the heat concealed within a simple sentence. Frozen in place she can do nothing but stare at him. “ And yet. Not fucking once did you ask me what it was I even wanted. All you fucking cared about is what you wanted, your fucking needs,  _ your happiness _ . ” 

Her tongue darts out to wet her now drying lips and his obsidian eyes trace the simple action, his fingers tightening against the glass bottle to the point she’s scared it was going to shatter right there in his deft fingers. Her own clenching at her sides as she fights to keep her breathing even, even as her heart gallops a mile a minute. 

“ I – ” 

“ No Skylar. This time I talk,  _ you listen _ . ” 

There was a veiled command interlaced into his words and whilst one half of her wanted to refute them, she could feel her wolf all but roll over in submission. It wasn’t a joyous feeling so instead she simply nods in reluctance. She wasn’t even sure what she could say.

“ Ten fucking years ago I would have killed for you, without even fucking blinking. You say that I consumed you, fuck sake Skylar  _ you consumed me _ . My every thought was about you, my every fucking instinct was hardwired into what you needed. But more than that, I loved you with an intensity that scared me and yet I craved more. ” 

A sob rings out in the heavy silence and she’s shocked to hear it come from her. Bringing up a shaky hand she presses it firmly against her mouth to silence any more noises, some part of her knowing he wasn’t finished throwing all this in her face.

“ When I phased I fucking hated it. I hated being away from you and I felt like I was slowly fucking dying every day. And yeah it was far from fucking healthy, but you were my only tether. The tether I had to fucking sanity – ” he hisses, the bottle once more raising to his lips. “ And finding out about the imprint, fuck I hate that even more. The thought that someone else out there was perfect for me when all I wanted, all I needed, was you. So imagine my fucking glee that day you looked at me on the beach, and my wolf agreed with the man.  _ You were ours, our mate, our forever _ . ” 

His obsidian gaze lands on her and she can see the pain written so clearly within their bottomless depths that it brings tears forth in her eyes. The warm liquid cutting a path down her cheeks as she remains frozen in place and simply watches him. Each of his words cut deep into her heart, leaving bleeding lacerations in their wake but she deserved them, she deserved every inch of the pain.

_ She did this to him _ . She did this to them.

“ When Sam attacked you I was going out of my fucking mind. To know that this curse caused you that pain. And then, of course, the asshole used your fear, used the one thing he knew could reign me in so that I couldn’t retaliate ” A small part of her, relished in seeing the anger in his eyes, knowing she wasn’t the only one who hated Sam for that. 

“I fought so fucking hard, but then I saw you in the hospital, your eyes swimming in fear as you looked at me and I knew, that order was one I would never be able to break. You were scared of me, scared of the fucking monster I am  **!** ” 

An automatic response saying he wasn’t a monster settles on her tongue, and yet it’s easy for her mind to return to that hospital room ten years ago. And she was scared, she was scared shitless but never of Paul. She was scared of Sam and what he had done to her, but she hadn’t voiced that once. And thus Paul had taken it one way, and the alpha order dug its hooks into his soul.

She’d also told him that she couldn’t see him if he was associated with Sam. But she’d also throw the words ‘ _ No matter how much I loved you _ ’ in his face. She had been a bitch, the biggest one she knew when he had just been there to see if she was okay. And of course, she’d asked for a day -  _ a day of peace _ \- and instead, she used that day to run over 1000 miles away.

God,  _ she was the worst _ .

“ And then you fucking left and didn’t come back for  _ ten fucking years _ – ” His anger is prominent around those words and she watches with veiled horror as his arm rears back, the bottle soon slipping from his fingers on a path towards the wall.

Despite her frozen stupor, she’s able to regain her senses and move quick, fingers wrapping around the bottle halting its path towards the wall. Her anger burning in her eyes as she levels them on Paul. Stalking forward with steps befitting the predator beneath her skin she comes to a stop in front of him, the fingers of her free hand wrapping around his throat as she levels a heated gaze upon him.

“ I get your angry. But if you wake Emmie-Jo, you will find that my anger burns far worse than it did as a teenager. All of it aimed towards you if she so much as stirs. ”

As much as she didn’t wish to speak the words towards him, the truth was written deep within each syllable. Her choices all stemmed from Emmie-Jo,  _ her daughter _ . The innocent in all of this who didn’t need to carry the weight of Skylar’s choices, nor did she need to witness Paul’s anger in it’s purest form.

She watches as regret blooms in his eyes, his head tilted and she knew he was listening to the sweet tune of Emmie-Jo’s heartbeat. The only other sound that stood between them. She hadn’t wished to bring Emmie-Jo up, to once again remind him that she’d borne another mans child, but her motherly instincts were not something she could just turn off, even her wolf was in agreement with that choice They would always fight and defend their cub -  _ even above the needs of their mate _ .

“ I’m sorry. I don’t mean to wake the  _ little wolf _ . ” 

Her eyes widen at the nickname that rolls off his lips, not even questioning how he knew. Or if he was simply saying it because she was one and Emmie-Jo was her daughter. Either way, it was something she didn’t want to think on so instead she ignores it - a common occurrence for things between her and Paul.

She nods, her fingers removing from around his neck. Staring at him deeply she raises the bottle to her own lips and drinks long and heavy - the vodka burning a trail of fire down her throat that solidifies her for a moment, calming the maelstrom inside of her. Lowering it, she shoves it back into his hands before stepping back, once more putting space between them. Yet his arms hand shoots out wrapping around the curve of her hip.  _ Halting her progress _ .

He leans over the back of the couch placing the bottle softly on the cushion before he turns to look at her once more. Her eyes flitting over every inch of his face as though she could see his next move spelt out for her. But there was nothing, his face a blank mask of emptiness. One that was still a foreign concept to her, to not see a single thing across the face she used to be able to read so well.

“ I’m torn between wanting to kill you, kill you for creating this fucking weakness,  _ this pain within me _ ,” he mutters as his fingers ghost over the curve of her jaw. “ Or kissing you and reminding you that you’re mine. That you’ve always been mine. ” 

As his thumb rubs across her bottom lip, still far poutier than her top, she turns her head, Her gaze dropping from the heated glare of his own. Tears were now running rampant down her face but she’d given up the attempt to staunch them. 

“ What do you want from me, Paul ? ” 

It was a loaded question, one riddled in so many meanings that even her head was spinning at the concept of how many answers there were. And yet she needed to _ hear it _ , she needed to know what was running through his mind and what it was that he wanted from her. This wasn’t about her submission, it was more her curiosity.

“ I want to know why. ” his hesitation in finishing the words has her turn back towards him, an eyebrow arching high on her face. And yet it was as though he wanted her gaze, as soon a wicked smirk, far more feral than human slips over his lips. “ Why after you became a wolf yourself,  _ you still fucking ran away _ . Why did you spend ten fucking years running from me ? ” 

And there it was. The one question she knew he would ask and one she knew she had to answer. Only she had the answers to it and yet at the same time, she wasn’t sure she did. She didn’t know if she had the answers he wanted to hear.

“ I don’t know – ” her shoulders rolling in a delicate shrug.

Before she can react she feels herself moving, the hard and unyielding wall soon slamming into her back as his heated frame presses against her, holding her firmly in place. His large hands grasping both of hers and holding them above her head. Every one of her instincts screaming,  _ daring her to fight back _ . To remove herself from the situation. Yet she doesn’t and instead simply matches his heated glare with one of her own.

“ Don’t pull that bullshit, Skylar. Tell me the fucking truth, you owe me that much ! ” 

“ Do you really want to know ? ” she spits, her own fire once more reigniting as her words become drenched in her anger, in her stubbornness. “ Because I didn’t want to be stuck in this fucking town. I didn’t want to be forever tied to one man and find that my fucking freedom was no more.  _ Because I wanted a fucking life _ . ” 

She bucks her hips forcibly, effectively pushing him off her. And as she stands there, her chest heaving from the force of her inhales she can feel her lupine side once more coiling around her. She extends her hearing, thankful to hear that Emmie-Jo was still sleeping through all this and levels her eyes on Paul.

“ Did you know in my pack we turn when we’re eighteen.  _ No fucking choice in the matter _ , eighteen and you’re a wolf, simple as that. It’s Emmie-Jo’s future too. And then throw in the Quileute genes and one way or another I was going to be a fucking beast. ” her words spat with so much venom she’s surprised they haven’t poisoned her. 

“  _ Why would I come back here after that _ . To forever be bound to this town like my brother, with an uncle and mother who saw me as nothing but a problem. Bound to the man who had given me the most violent introduction to the world of the supernatural. My father offered me freedom and I grasped it with both hands, I became something in the military,  _ I built a life that wasn’t based on being a wolf, _ it was based on my efforts as a human. More than that, I learnt how to be less of a monster. I wouldn’t have done that here, not even with you. I’d have grown resentful and hated the life we would have had.  _ I’d have grown to hate the imprint _ for locking me in one place and one place only. ” 

She was voicing words she’d only ever whispered to herself, the severity of them stealing her fire as she slumps against the wall heavily. Her fight had drained from her and left the empty shell she had become in its wake. Shaking her head, she wipes at the tears gathered below her jaw.

“  _ Hate me if it’s easier for you _ . But you can’t hate me as much as I’ve hated myself these last ten years. I may have not looked at you in ten years but even my wolf knew you were our mate. Knew that you were the perfect fucking one for us.  _ And it added to the hate _ , to the pain I felt every fucking day. ” 

At this point, she was full-on bawling, something she hadn’t done since the day Emmie-Jo was born and yet she was doing it, right in front of Paul and she wanted to hate him. Hate him for bringing out this weakness in her. Just as he wanted to hate her. But instead, she focuses her hate on the imprint, for messing up what once lay between them.

“ The only thing that saved me was the little girl sleeping in the other room.  _ But I nearly lost her too _ . The fucking wolf spirits nearly ripped her from me. Because she wasn’t your fucking child, she wasn’t my mates child. I nearly died, she nearly died and it was only a skilled doctor and an emergency cesarean that saved us. So I’ve paid the price for what I did to you, and no amount of hate you feel  _ will ever match what I carry inside _ . ” 

Pushing away from the wall she walks past him, and back towards Emmie-Jo’s door. Her whole body vibrating with the force of her tears. She hadn’t even told Bella the reason for the cesarean but Skylar had known it, she had felt it that day in the operating room.  _ Her wolf nearly abandoned her _ , leaving her and her child on the proximation of death. But in the end, it didn’t, and now the two protected the one who was nearly ripped from them.

Plus Skylar had heard the stories as a child, of how an imprint can only have children with her wolf and vice versa. And somehow she’d managed to get pregnant by another -  _ so of course _ \- the spirits wanted to correct the mistake. Because why not throw one more fucking wrench into her life and remind her of how much she was fighting fate.

Hearing the door shut quietly she looks over her shoulder to see a now empty house glaring back at her, the lingering scent of Paul slamming into her like a thousand knives and she’s unable to stop herself as she drops to the floor. Her cries ringing out in the silence as she lets the pain she was feeling inside swallow her whole.

She had once fallen in love with a devil - and now she was paying  _ the ultimate price _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- So this chapter kinda wrote itself. So erm *hides* don’t hate me. But truly what are your thoughts. Was that talk everything you expected from our two stubborn wolves or do you now want to slap one of them around the head? Let me know, _I’m curious._


	11. I’m the villain of the story.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- September -**

Layla had once asked her what her one true sin was. What was the one thing that she did repeatedly that wasn’t what she should be doing? At the tie Skylar hadn’t known how to answer her, she wasn’t sure she had an answer. But now she knew it, she knew what her one true sin was.

She had a problem accepting that  _ she was the one in the wrong _ .

It was something she could trace back to years ago but it had never been more apparent than in the hours after Paul had walked out the door. As she knelt there on the floor, it slammed into her and stole her breath. That she was once more angry for all the wrong reasons, that once more she had thrown shit in his face that she had no right to do.

She had fallen back on a bad habit - that when something was her fault, she’d play the victim. Ignoring the fact that truly she was the villain and when it came to the situation with Paul. She was as much to blame as he was - she hadn’t reached out to him either. She had left the side of the communication closed, just like he had.

And more than that, she hadn’t once thought about the pain he was in. She had pretended it was nothing, that it wasn’t something to think about and yet it was. It was just as important as her pain -  _ as it told their story _ \- it showed the shit they’d gone through to find their way back to each other.

_ Well if this was a fairy tale _ .

But it wasn’t a fairytale and every one of her actions were slowly building it towards a nightmare. She had shut the door in his face,  _ slammed it would be more fitting _ . And she had constantly shut down in terms of him, all she focused on was her issues.

She loved him, she had always loved him. And she had ignored the one thing that should have mattered to her - him. She had acted as though he didn’t matter. As though he wasn’t something she should care about. And as she thought over the conversation, she realised that she was the one in the wrong once more.

He had told her the truth, told her he loved her and had even apologised for nearly waking her daughter. And what had she done - she’d gone and turned into the biggest bitch walking. She just threw her pain in his face as though it meant more than anything else.

She finishes the bottle of vodka and was sat on the kitchen floor as the sun broke over the horizon, the appearance of it also brings with it her father and as she looks up. She realises that both of them had one hell of a night. She was silent as he explains the issues with the pack, the exchange reminding her of a messed up business meeting.

But that was what it was, the pack was a business. And she agrees to do the patrol he wanted her to do, even as a singe of pain bursts through her heart. The fact that he was asking her to leave once more setting heavy on her shoulders and she could feel every part of her wanting to deny it. But she was the best tracker, and the faster she caught the scents, the faster she could be back.

At least that’s what _ she kept telling herself _ .

Pulling her weary body from the floor she heads up and gets a quick shower and gets changed. Her mind was completely blank to what she was dressing in and as she came back down, seeing Emmie-Jo in her father’s hands she smiles heading out. She had a patrol to do - but more than that she had somewhere to be.

She follows the internal GPS inside of her, allowing the frayed bond to lead her to where she could sense Paul was. Her mind resolved at just what she was doing, what she had to say. Because this time there was one thing she had to say and she hadn’t said it yet.

_ And it was about time _ .

Her eyes drink in the pack, Paul’s broad frame eclipsing everyone else as her eyes level on him. And despite the early time, she knew that they’d all been awake for a good few hours. No doubt recovering from the patrols they’d just done. It was something she’d seen in her own pack, even in her own eyes in the mirror. Finding her resolve she heads over to them, her head nodding once in the direction of the others as she stops just ahead of Paul.

“ Can I speak to you for a minute ? ” she asks, staring at her hands as she twiddles her fingers like a shy schoolgirl. “ Please ? ”

She doesn’t hear his response but as he walks past her and towards the forest she takes it as answer enough and follows behind him. Her eyes trailed to the floor as she breathes out harshly. Her mind churning as she fights down everything inside of her.

It was time she put on her big girl panties and manned the fuck up.  _ She had too _ .

As Paul comes to a stop, she follows suit leaving a big enough gap between them as she drags in her breathe harshly and raises her eyes to lock on his. She isn’t shocked to see that in just a few hours, his eyes now held more resentment than they did earlier. She flinches from its intensity but she doesn’t waver in her glance, instead, she allows it to swallow her whole.

“ I came to apologise – ” she starts, her hand coming up to run through her hair as she bites down on her lip harsh enough to cause blood. She could see the disbelief in his eyes and wanted to laugh at it, but she doesn’t.

Breathing deep, her mouth opens and she finally does the one thing she should have done the whole time.

“ I am sorry that you are stuck with me, that for the last ten years I have caused you pain and not once have I stopped to think about what it did to you. I am sorry that this whole time I’ve been home, _ all I’ve done is throw in your face how I’ve felt _ , once more not caring what you were feeling. ” Her words are clear, wrapped tightly in truth. “  _ If I could take these ten years back _ , I would. And if I could take away the pain I’ve caused I would. As I never meant to hurt you Paul, and yet its the one thing I did callously and without regard for your feelings. ”

Choking down the emotion that threatened to clog her throat. She levels her gaze on him, her previous anger gone and in its place was nothing more than regret. She didn’t need to see her own eyes to see it was burning in her eyes. Wishing to drown him in how she was feeling, to make him feel the depths of her apology.

“ These last ten years I’ve run away from one truth that I never wanted to think about. The fact that I had left my heart with you. I wanted to pretend that you were nothing but something in my past but it was lies. You had my heart, you have my heart still and  _ you always will _ . ” 

She had realised that since she’d come back - he’d voiced that he still loved her. And yet she hadn’t voiced it back, but it was the truth. It was the reason she was using Bella, to allow herself to hide from the knowledge that it had always been Paul.

_ It would always be Paul _ .

“ Last night you said I hadn’t once asked you what you wanted. And that’s true – ” she steps forward slowly, closing the gap between them and bringing her closer to the silent wolf. “ So I’m asking now. What do you want ? Truthfully, what do you want from me ? ” 

“  _ I want the fucking truth Sky _ – ” his words are heavy as they settle on her. “ Last night you spouted a load of fucking bullshit at me about staying in La Push. I get it was your truth, the truth you’ve carried for ten fucking years as you made my life hell. But I want to know the true reason, the one you bury underneath all of that.  _ I want to know why _ . ” 

Once more her eyes track to the forest floor, of course, he had spotted her hiding techniques. He had been the one to teach her and why had she thought that he wouldn’t recognise his own work being thrown in his face. Dragging her eyes back up, she locks them on his face and sighs.

“ I was scared – ” she says simply and yet it wasn’t the whole answer. “ I was scared to lose myself in you as I always seemed to do. And one day have you turn around and hate your life with me. What I said about hating it here,  _ I wouldn’t have _ . I thought you would have done. We were young and so fucking in love and I didn’t believe that was something that could last.  _ Not with what was inside of us _ . ” 

“ So you made that fucking choice without me. ” his words buried in a deep growl. “ Fuck sake, Skylar – ” 

She nods at his words as her gaze pins to his shoulder, no longer able to meet his eyes. Tears were building in her eyes but she quenches it down. She wasn’t playing the victim anymore,  _ she was the villain _ and it was time she owned up to that. She had shoved blame on him for long enough, but she was also the one who hadn’t reached out. She was the one who had stayed away, even knowing that he was stuck in La Push. Even the time’s that Sonny had come to visit, she didn’t once ask about Paul. Instead, she simply ignored the fact that Paul was his pack brother. Thinking it would help her, and help her build her lie better. 

She needed a shit ton of counselling,  _ it was a given _ . 

“ You say you would take back the past ten years. Do you wanna know what the fuck I’ve been doing for the last decade – ” 

She had to have been a masochist as she found herself nodding. She wanted to hear, she had to hear what he had lived through as she knew it would be far worse than her. He had been the one to imprint, her mating bond muted until two days ago. So she knew, whatever she threw in his face, wouldn’t fucking touch what he had.

“ The first few months after you left  _ I went fucking feral _ . I hated Sam, I hated being what I was and I tried to fight it, every fucking day I tried to fight that stupid alpha order that kept me from you. Even six months later when Jake phased my mind was still churning it over. But by that point,  _ I was more animal than man _ . ” 

It was easy for her to picture. There were moments when she’d nearly done the same thing. But she keeps silent, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she waits for him to finish.

“ And then Sonny returned from visiting you and phased – ” he chuckles but there was no humour in the action. “ His mind constantly replayed your visit and I saw you. For the first time in six months, I saw you, I saw you laughing. I saw you healthy and you were fucking gorgeous and I thought you were nearly ready to return home,  _ to come home to me _ . ” 

“ That was the visit I told Sonny I wasn’t – ” she whispers to herself but she knew Paul could hear.

“ Imagine my fucking surprise when he told me. ” he snorts. “ But still I snapped out of my funk. And figured you just needed more time,  _ so I focused on getting better _ . And dealing with other shit that came our way with the pack. And soon I realised you weren’t coming back, that you weren’t lying to your baby brother and that I was nothing more than the man you left behind without a second thought. so to forget you I started sleeping with everyone I could. I didn’t fucking care who, all I cared about was fucking you from my mind, from my soul. ” 

_ It was her turn to flinch and she can see he takes relish in seeing her pain _ . 

“ Yet every fucking time I was balls deep in someone. All I fucking saw was you, all I remembered was how you’d moan my name, how you felt wrapped around me. How I wanted it to be you, you that I was making love you, you who I was  _ building a future with _ . ” 

Half of her wished he’d stop talking and yet the other half was listening to him with rapt attention. Wanting to hear it all, to hear his pain wash over her and slowly tear her apart.

“ I built your dream house on the whim that one day you’d come back.  _ Jared told me I was an idio _ t, but I still did it. I did it for you, to have the house you’d dreamed off since you were fifteen years old – ” he turns from her then and she breathes deep, fighting the weight that had settled in her chest.

“ I already knew about what you went through with  _ the little wolf _ . Sonny showed us when he came back and all of us who were phased at the time broke for you, Skylar. I nearly died just so you didn’t have to feel that, so your daughter didn’t have to go through that. ” 

If there was one thing he could have said that would destroy her. It was that sentence right there, and yet as he turned back to her, his own tears gathering in his eyes, she knew he wasn’t done. He was far from done.

“ When I saw  _ the little wolf _ through Sonny’s eyes I instantly fell in love with her. I didn’t fucking care that she was another man’s child, I loved her because she was a part of you. And just seeing the image of you holding her. Fuck that was something I had wished so many times to see, so my child or not,  _ I love that kid _ . ” 

Her knees nearly buckle at the conviction in his words and his apology the night before made even more sense and it does nothing but stab a deep knife into her heart. A wound she knew wouldn’t heal anytime soon, just the sheer knowledge that he had taken her daughter into his heart without even meeting her, because she was Skylar’s.  _ Was too much to handle _ .

“ I’m sorry – ” she chokes.

His head shakes once and she knew the reasoning -  _ her apology came too late _ . It came a decade late, she had destroyed them because she was selfish. Because she put her wants before Paul’s. She didn’t once think about him as she was hurting, didn’t once think about what he would be feeling if she was almost dying. And now, no apology could ever make up for what she’d done. Nothing could.

She’d ripped his heart out and stamped on it. 

“ I fucking love you with everything I am. And you destroyed me, you had the power to do just that and you used it.  _ Repeatedly _ . ” his words verbalising her internal monologue.

As he walks past her, she drags in deep lungfuls of his scent, not knowing when she’d smell it again. Because his words felt like the final curtain on them. She wasn’t sure what it was that told her, but every one of her instincts screamed that she’d fucked up, that this was the moment that it all came crashing down around her for good.

“ Do you truly still love me ? ” his voice rings out behind her. 

“ Yes. I’ve loved you since that first day and never stopped. ” she chokes out, the lump in her chest threatening to swallow her whole.

His heated hands settle on her shoulders and she allows him to turn her roughly, her eyes snapping to his as though pulled by magnets as one of his hand drifts up into her hair. His fingers grasping her ebony locks harshly as his lips crash against hers.

It wasn’t soft, it wasn’t filled with love. It was filled with anger, it was rough, it was teeth and lips and an incessant need to leave a mark on the other. A mark that was painted with only one emotion -  _ pain _ . As he pulls away she sways on the spot, her hands pressing against his biceps to steady herself as she works to get her lungs working once more, Paul having indolently stolen her breath.

“ Stop loving me – ” he growls “  _ And I’ll do the fucking same _ . I won’t feel an ounce more pain over you Skylar Ragnulf. From this moment on my heart is closed to you. I will no longer pine after a woman who clearly doesn’t fucking care about me and would rather run as far away as she can. ” 

As he storms away from her, the tears finally break free and its at that moment she’s truly hit with everything she did. With the weight of the pain, she caused. He had finally pushed him too far, and he was done with her. No longer did he care if she came or went.

But she also knew, he had resigned himself to the fact she was no doubt not going to stay. Having decided that there was no room in her heart for him and that her life was in Colorado. If she wanted to fix what she’d broken, she had to show him.  _ Actions spoke louder than words _ \- and she had to prove that her heart was in his hands, and it had been for the last decade.

_ It was up to her now _ . Not Paul.

“ If I could stop loving you I would. But I can’t – ” 

Her whisper is lost inside the woods but she prays he hears it, hears the conviction in her words even if she knows they’re a decade too late. 

Tears were tracing their way down her face as she walks back out of the forest and as she heads over to Sam she doesn’t even wipe them away. Instead, she lets the pain and regret swim deep inside her whiskey eyes as she stops in front of the alpha. She didn’t even care that other members of the pack were around her, she just didn’t care. Not now.

“ I’m needed back in Colorado for a patrol. We’ve caught a string of foreign scents and I’m the pack’s best tracker – ” she starts, thankful her voice is steady. “ I know the timing sucks but my dad wants me to head up there. Can you, can you tell Paul I’m not running away and I will be back. I don’t .. I don’t think he’ll hear the words from me. He doesn’t want to see me anymore. ” 

“ What did you do Skylar ? ” Sam asks softly as he brings a hand to settle on her shoulder.

She wanted to shuck off the feeling, the sympathy and the fact that he meant the comfort. She’d rather not feel it at all, she was cold. Freezing from the inside out and she’d rather it consumed her than have someone chase it away.

“ I fucked up as I always do – ” she chokes. “  _ I broke the man I love _ . ” 

She turns then, ignoring the sympathy that swam in everyone’s eyes as she walked away. Her wolf clamouring inside and begging her to head in the direction she had seen Paul run. But she knew she would only add to the pain and instead she forces her feet to move. Stopping for a moment she turns to look at Sam, whistling softly to get his attention.

“ I heard about your imprint on Bella Swan. ” She quips a small recognition of her usual self bleeding in. “ I know where she is. ” 

“ Where ? ” Sam asks, his whole attention now focused on her.

“ Right now, probably letting herself into the apartment we share – ” She isn’t surprised by the look on his face and shrugs. “ She’s my plus one for the wedding and will be here next week. Hopefully, you can fix your imprint better than I’ve done mine and  _ get your happy ending _ . ”

It was her first step into letting the anger go, letting go of the one thing that had been consuming her from the inside out. And given a lot of her anger was aimed at Sam, she knew it was the biggest step she could make. She did wish him happiness, as no doubt, he’d lived with the same pain she and Paul had.

_ And she wouldn’t wish that on her worst enemy _ . 

Turning before he can bombard her with any more questions she heads back inside the forest and once the foliage is dense enough to swallow her frame she shifts, allowing her animal out of its fleshy cage. The howl that breaks free of her snout one filled with  _ heartbreak and pain _ and it takes everything inside of her to silence the cries. To silence them and get her large body moving in the direction it was needed.

One more running away.  _ But this time she’d be back _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- So yes fair warning, Skylar is far from perfect. She makes mistakes, she says shit she shouldn’t and she puts the blame on the wrong people. She isn’t perfect, so yeah many times you guys are going to shout at her….potentially.
> 
> But your feedback over her stupidity makes me laugh so much. And just, thank you for sticking around.


	12. Love’s poisonous bite

It’s said that when you’re in love, you are uniquely vulnerable. You had the person you love the complete power to destroy you in a way that only they can. Your heart is theirs and with it, the only true way to hurt you. And when someone uses that power, it is a wound that takes a long time to heal. Wiping out the other adage ‘ _ time heals all wounds _ ’. Because when you’re destroyed by love, it's a wound without healing.

It was a pain that Paul knew well, a pain that haunted him from the moment Skylar walked out of his life and took his heart with her. His chest was empty from that moment, a haunted shell with a heartbeat so hollow. He had never known a pain like it. And yet if there was anyone who could cause him that pain -  _ it was Skylar _ .

He had fallen in love with her before the whole wolf thing -  _ she was a wildfire _ \- and he burnt inside the flames of her. She swallowed him whole and yet there was nothing more glorious to him. She loved him at his worst, she took his anger and paired it with her own. And whilst he wasn’t someone who at the time believed in true love, he definitely had it with Skylar.

And then the wolf shit happened, then fucking Sam happened, and his whole world fell apart. Nothing at the time had made him happier than the moment he imprinted on her. Just knowing that whilst fate said she was perfect for him -  _ he’d already known it _ \- he’d known it from the moment they were sixteen. And in the past twelve years, nothing has changed that fact.

His heart was hers.  _ It would always be hers _ .

It was something Paul had once understood in Bella Swan, he had watched the way she fell apart after the leech left. And whilst he hated the fact that she had fallen in love with a leech. Below the surface of that though he could understand the pain she was feeling, as he knew what it was like to have a love walk away. To feel like your forever had literally fucked off with no thought about you.

Whilst he would never truly care for the leech lover, even if she wasn’t one anymore. He understood her in a way that caused his anger to flare every time he looked at her. She was the physical reminder of the pain that lived beneath him. Just her hanging around was like a slap to the face. And yeah he knew he’d been unfair to her - but he just couldn’t face it or her.

He had been angry before and after Skylar left,  _ he got a hell of a lot worse _ .

He fucked anyone who walked simply because he could and because he was honestly trying to fuck Skylar from his mind. It was stupid really for he knew she would always be there, the little devil on his shoulders that taunted him that he wasn’t good enough. That he had driven away his own mate because of his inability to fight a damn alpha order.

From there, his life became about as mundane as it could with turning into a huge fucking wolf and having a mate be so many fucking miles away. From fighting a shit ton of newborns, to taking on vampire royalty to getting his business off the ground. It was normal but it also wasn’t the life he had envisioned. And he grew even angrier by the day because of it.

_ And then she came back _ .

He hadn’t meant to have been in the woods that day, having decided to simply run home instead of drive, and then he’d seen it. Sam’s thoughts as chaotic as Paul had ever seen them and he would openly admit at the pride that burned through him at watching her put Sam in his place. But it was the knowledge she was a wolf too that pissed him off.

She was what he was, and still, she hadn’t returned to him. She was openly ignoring the mating bond and he wanted to know why.

From there things fucked up, both of them lost inside their anger and the pain of separation. Yet he felt it the moment her eyes met his -  _ her wolf knew it too _ \- they were meant to be together. And yet they were alike in the way they refused to let go of the darkness inside of him. He understood her pain, her anger. Yet she didn’t understand his.

And then, of course, things just grew worse, the way she threw her pain at him made everything in him want to bow down and let her heal. But he couldn’t, he wanted to blow and the only reason he didn’t was the small child that had been sleeping in the other room. He would never do anything to harm that little girl. There wasn’t a part of him that could, even if she wasn’t Skylar’s child. He wouldn’t hurt a child like he was hurt - it wasn’t who he was - nor would he let anyone else do it.

He hadn’t expected Skylar to be the first one to break their ‘stand-off’ and apologised as he knew it wasn’t who she was. It was one of the things he’d always loved about her,  _ when her mind was set on something _ , she didn’t waver and she didn’t apologise for who she was. It was only as he heard her parting words to not only him and Sam did he truly realise how much anger she’d been holding onto. Far more than he had originally thought. And he wished, with everything in him that he could erase the last words he spoke to her, to wipe them from her mind and have it so he’d never spoken them.

But once more, one of them spoke in anger and they’d be living with the scars for a long time.

\- 

-

A growl rips its way out of his snout as once more he loses the scent he was tracking, the pure need burning within him to sink his teeth into the vampire’s body and make it so the wretched bastard never breathed another morsel of air. He had always hated leeches, always accepted the animal part of himself that hunted them, but this time he was moving with a clear cut vision that was even scaring him.

He knew his brothers were around him, the sounds of their paws meeting his ears but his thoughts were nothing but white noise to them. Protected and private and instead all they got was his pure need to hunt down the vampire. But whilst his was silent, his packmates weren’t and he watched them play out in his mind, listening to the conversation.

Skylar and Sam discuss how they were going to break the news to Skylar that Emmie-Jo was now under Sam’s roof, every wolf within the pack knowing that would push the she-wolf’s patience given the animosity that still burned between the two wolves. Skylar has never forgiven Sam for what she did.

Yet Paul prayed she saw the good side of it, Emmie-Jo was currently in the most protected place in the reservation, and nothing could touch her there. Paul wouldn’t let it, and neither would Sonny and Jacob. They are too bound by the blood connection they shared with both Skylar and Emmie-Jo.

It amused him, Sonny was one of the calmest members of the pack. It took a lot to rile him up and yet, he could see that the sunshine’s anger burned almost as bright as Paul’s. Both of them dead set on tearing apart the leech that dared to get too close to the reservation. That dared to come too close to something so precious to them. Briefly, Paul wonders if they’d still be hunting when Skylar returned and if so, would the she-wolf be as patient with them then, or would they learn just how dangerous she had become.

That thought alone sends a flicker of lust burning through Paul’s mind. Skylar had always been delectably vicious in a way that had his blood pumping. Seeing her have bloodlust and a need for violence that was on par with his own was something he would never forget the feeling off. But now, now he was curious to see just how harsh it burnt and how glorious she would be.

The hours bleed away as Paul pushes himself to the max, every part of him wanting to hunt down the wayward vampire and tear it apart with an intensity he hadn’t felt in over ten years. But he knew the reason, and she was currently asleep in Sam’s guest room. His mate was off protecting her tribe, and it was his job to protect her child.

But soon he can feel the tendrils of an alpha order wrapping around him and forcing him to go home and get changed for Sonny’s party and the growl that rips from his snout was one of forced will and decedent anger. He was slowly getting annoyed at Sam’s alpha orders and couldn’t wait for the day the alpha was once more knocked off his damn pedestal.

Moving with half minded ease he grabs a shower before slipping into dark jeans, dress shirt and black boots. The outfit was one Mina had gotten him and he had to briefly admit that his pack sister had done well. But he doesn’t think it over as he heads to the resort and orders a whiskey the moment he’s at the bar. His tall frame settling down at a table near Sam and Seth.

His fingers deftly twirl the glass in his hands, the sounds of the room slowly filling sounding around him. To his left, he could hear Seth and Sam talking about that night’s patrol and joking on how Skylar seemed to slip in and out of their flanks. They only ever knew she was there, when she passed them. It was something that amused Paul too, her scent was at this point ingrained into his every pore, but even he had noted that she’d even  _ slipped past him more than once _ .

It was as though she was made to be a wolf, it was so natural for her to find the weakness in their patrols and exploit them with a grace that half of them were missing. But he figured with her being a wolf via both parents -  _ she had greater senses _ \- even Jacob had nothing on his cousin. Which was another amusing trait, and one no one truly wanted to address. Which was the fact that Skylar had officially phased first -  _ one of the eldest and first of Ephraim’s grandchildren to do it  _ \- which threw the position of Alpha straight into the shit pile.

By Quileute laws,  _ it was Skylar’s position _ .

Of course, no member of the pack was thinking like that, not with Sam around anyway. But all the others knew the weight of it, and they’d also figured out Skylar was the daughter of an alpha. Meaning she was the purest Alpha walking, and thus slipping past a pack of wolves, was child’s play to her. Especially with her military training added on top.

He’s broken from his musings by the tinkling laughter of a child and turning his eyes to the right, he watches as the child he had only ever seen through Sonny’s mind comes barrelling through the crowds. The people parting like the red sea to not be in her way, and behind her a bedraggled Mina works to catch her. His lips curl in the corner slightly as he sees the innocence on the little one's face and he then can understand why Skylar was fighting so hard to keep her innocence.

_ It was now a fight he would partake in without question _ .

Moving quickly, his arms wrap around the child as he watches her careen towards the floor. Her young feet having become caught in something trivial and setting her upright he holds her for a few moments as he makes sure she has her balance back. Despite the fall, the bright smile never slips off her face.

“ Careful little wolf. ” he croons softly.

“ Sowwy. ” she twirps and he chuckles.

“ It’s okay. Let’s try not to mess up your pretty dress. Not before mommy gets to see it. ” 

The glee seems to almost grow on the child’s face and despite the way Paul currently felt, he had to admit he was feeling the same way as Emmie-Jo. He was desperate to see Skylar again in human form, and not the fleeting form of her wolf.

“ Is she coming soon ? ” 

The words were garbled but Paul understood them easily enough and nodded. “ She should be here soon little wolf. ” 

Congealing back to his full height with her clutched firmly in his arms he walks over to where Sonny is, the girls uncle leaning against the bar and watches with hidden pleasure as Emmie-Jo leans against him whilst carrying on an animated conversation with her uncle. The fact that the child was placing her trust and care in him, had his internal wolf preening. To know he was able to provide safety to his imprints child.

He orders Emmie-Jo a drink and holds her steady as she happily accepts the fruit juice he had ordered, Sonny luckily knowing better than arguing over Paul taking charge. When it came to the child of a wolf's imprint - it was as much of a murky area as the imprint themselves. All of Paul’s actions right now were hardwired to care for the child, a task he did willingly, and only an idiot would try and put themselves in his way.

Soon Emmie-Jo’s impatience grows and taking the drink from her small fingers, he places her back on the floor and watches as she runs off through the crowds once more. Her tinkling laughter carrying across the room towards him. Turning to the bar he gets her a fresh drink before making his way back to his previous position. The seat allowed him to watch as everyone entered, but also it now allowed him the perfect opportunity to make sure no one harmed the little wolf.

The feeling of fire settling over his skin has his head snapping up and his eyes immediately locking on the door, and the two females that had just entered. Sonny’s loud voice only confirmed the sight before him. Skylar and Bella Swan. To say he was surprised was an understatement and his eyes flicker to Sam, the male now wound tighter than a stress ball as he tracks Bella’s movements.

_ Skylar was really making things interesting _ .

Soon his eyes track back to his imprint and he soaks in the sight of her holding Emmie-Jo, his cock stirring beneath his slacks as he looks at her. At that moment she looked truly glorious. The dress she wore highlighted her beauty and accentuated her long legs and he could easily picture them wrapped around his waist. The dog tags between her breasts were the sweetest tease and he wanted nothing more than to see her wearing only them and nothing else.

Despite what he said, he would never be over Skylar.  _ Or the responses she set aflame within him _ .

But it’s as she turns, revealing her back to him that he has to fight to contain the groan in his throat.  _ For there was his mark _ . The tattoo he had designed for her so blatantly obvious on her toffee skin and just seeing it reinforced the knowledge that she was his. And whilst she was human she had borne his mark with ease. And still did even now as a supernatural creature and his mate, the ease was still there with which she wore it, if the fact she was showing it off was any indication.

Idly he’s drawn into her conversation as Sonny points out his staring habits and his eyes lock with hers as she turns, his eyes no doubt broadcasting the pure desire running through him. As well as the internal fight he was having at not charging over there and claiming her, so every male who dared look in her direction  _ knew who she belonged to _ .

“ He wants me to stay away from him, and I will respect his wishes. ” 

Despite the words she spoke, he can taste the undercurrent of her stubbornness and it is the only thing that is able to chase away the pain that lashes through his chest at those words.  _ She was going to fight for him _ , and he welcomed it. He welcomed the fight she would have to get back into the heart she believed was closed off to her. And whilst all he had to do was voice the knowledge that it wasn’t. He was curious to see his dominant alpha female fight for him.

And god his submission to her would be willing.  _ So willing _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N : _Reviews are love and highly appreciated -_** Soo writing Paul is hard at the moment for some strange reason and I think it’s because I connect more to Skylar in this situation. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even if it feels like a filler to me - but then again so does the next one - but I hope you all enjoyed the look inside Paul’s mind and how torn and chaotic his is. Which kinda mirror’s Sky’s in a way. But yeah Paul loves Skylar, he’s just scared to give her that power again - _verbally that is._


	13. So far away.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

She had once thought that time was irrelevant, that the passage of it was just normal. You got up, did your daily activities, went to sleep and repeated it all the next day. And whilst you did the clock ticked away forever counting down to the day where you no longer heard it. The day when you finally laid down to sleep for the last time. It was just the way of the world and she’d never really given it much thought.

Yet in the last week and a half, she had become far more aware of time than she ever had been. She was aware of how each second ticked by rolling into an hour. An hour that she was stuck in wolf form hunting down errant scents to protect their land. She was aware of just how far she was from her daughter - how long it would take to return. Not only to Emmie-Jo  _ but also to Paul _ .

She was trying, trying so hard to keep her promise and even if it was just to return to La Push for a quick sleep, she was trying. But again she was far too aware of the time it took to do that menial task. In a car, it took nearly twenty-four hours straight to travel from Colorado Springs to Forks -  _ over 1500 miles _ \- and yet in wolf form, she kept running the distance in over two hours. 

She was pushing her body to its limit and she knew at some point she was going to pay for the punishment she was putting it through. That soon the time it took to travel the distance would increase and she would be seconds closer to breaking her promise. And it was just another thing that settled on her heavily.

Right behind the fact that no matter how she tried -  _ she couldn’t find the originator of the scent _ \- she was pretty sure she had run in bloody circles trying to find them. From Colorado and out to the surrounding areas and back again. It was driving her insane as it wasn’t a leech scent, it smelt more shifter and yet none of them were unaccounted for.

_ Again it was driving her insane _ .

Her feet pound against the foliage, breathe escaping out the side of her mouth in short heated puffs as she pushes herself further and faster. Beside her, she can see the blurs of green as she runs at full pelt towards La Push. Her lingering scent in the air is the only thing to guide her as she ducks under fallen trees and jumps over creeks.

She couldn’t enjoy her time in wolf form like she normally would, enjoy the rush that came from running at full speed simply to get from one place to another. Not when her limbs felt like lead underneath her, tiredness bleeding into every crevice as she fought to stay awake. She hadn’t eaten or slept in three days, and it was showing. Even her wolf was waning under the need for nourishment and a small part of her knew -  _ she’d reached her limit _ .

Growling softly to herself she jumps over the large break in the ground, the landing almost sending her crashing to the floor in a heap of tangled limbs. Breathing in harshly, the sound of a soft growl fluttering around her as she slowly walks forward. She knew she was in La Push, she could smell the other wolves flitting around her and thus she moves at a slower pace, allowing whatever remains of her strength to return.

Her head turns to the side as she sees the shadows shift and give way to a large black wolf, her frame momentarily freezing as she stares at the wolf who had caused her so much pain in the past. Her luminescent eyes pinning him in place as her lips curl back from her teeth, canines flashing in the waning sunlight. A lupine warning burning from her every stance -  _ whilst she was beyond tired _ \- she would fight the other wolf if she needed too. If he forced her too.

Whilst she wished ‘ _ the man _ ’ all the happiness with his imprint, not wanting anyone else to live through what she was. When it came to the wolf,  _ it was still and forever be the wolf that hurt her _ , that threw her in the deep end of the supernatural and never even apologised. Thus the wolf, would forever be her biggest enemy. She could forgive the man, but she would never forgive the beast.

His large head nods at her once before disappearing back within the dense foliage, the darkness of which swallowing him whole that even she had to strain to see him. Listening she hears his paws grow farther away from her as her lupine eyes close, her snout dragging in the scent of the fellow wolf as before her eyes she can idly follow his trail.

She wasn’t lying about being the pack’s best tracker -  _ something within her was hardwired for it  _ \- with her lupine senses and her mind she remembered every scent she ever caught and could follow them anywhere, no matter the distance. Almost as though she could picture them right before her, and just what they were doing. It was a strange gift, something her father agreed with, but she just clumped in as part of her wolf.

_ It was easier _ .

She goes to move again but stops as the faint scent of her daughter drifts on the wind -  _ it wasn’t fresh _ \- she would say it was at least a day old and for a moment it fills her with peace. Until she remembers why it would be carried upon Sam, why he would be shrouded in the scent of her daughter. And upon those memories she can feel the anger burn through her, familiar and dangerous in its intensity. For just thirty-six hours previous her daughter had been in danger, and she’d been over 1000 miles away.

The La Push pack had scented a vampire and Sonny had no choice but to take Emmie-Jo along with his imprint to Sam’s house. Leaving the toddler in the care of Mina as well as Jared’s imprint Kim and two other imprints that Skylar had yet to meet. She didn’t blame her brother -  _ she wasn’t there and neither was their father _ \- their pack duties having dragged them once more away from La Push. But the fact she wasn’t there was a shred of guilt that would eat at her.

But she begrudgingly would admit that Sam was okay in this situation. Her brother had calmed her over the phone when all was clear. When they had somehow managed to chase the vampire from the lands and despite her panic that was probably broadcasting all over Colorado and across to Washington, her sweet baby brother had informed her that Emmie-Jo was asleep in Sam’s spare room and the alpha had offered to let her stay. 

She’d wanted to scream and shout at her brother, to run back to La Push and remove her daughter from the situation but luckily her common sense had won out. It wouldn’t benefit Emmie-Jo, and after making her brother swear that Mina was close and wouldn’t leave. She let the offence lie and instead forced her father to return to the small town whilst she once more chased down the scents he wanted her too.

There was a small part of her -  _ fleeting in its occurrence _ \- that couldn’t help but wonder if her father was making this choice on purpose. She was indeed the best tracker the pack had, but two others could do it just as well.  _ Cole was amongst them _ . But yet her father had all but ordered that Skylar return. The Blackwater pack was nomadic by nature, often the members were stretched over different towns and continents but there was always a large number situated in Colorado - and any of them could have searched out the errant scents. 

And yet,  _ it was apparently her job _ .

She knew it was her paranoia that was forcing her to look at her father with the look that she was, to question his every move and command. Never had she forgiven her family for turning their back on her, and since then she hadn’t fully trusted anyone since. And after the military had trained her to be aware of every threat, even from those she held close, she now saw things through different eyes.  _ And that included her family _ .

Shaking her head, her white and black pelt shifting in the breeze as her large frame moved. Her mind churning over a thousand thoughts and indolently she’s thankful that she had long ago learnt how to block out her thoughts, making them all but silent to the wolves she shared a mind with. For she knew, the thoughts she’d had would have had her killed for betraying their alpha. Even if she was indeed the heir to that title.

Shifting back to human once she was close enough to the house, she drags in the scents around her, noting with ease that the others had finally arrived. Yet the sound of one heartbeat remained within the walls and the scent accompanying it had her chuckling. If she thought her troubles from before were hard, things were only going to get worse.  _ Especially with the company _ .

And maybe her temporary peace with Sam was indeed going to come to an end.

“ Sweet Bella Swan – ” she croons as her frame passes through the large patio doors, her steps as silent as the breeze that blew through the house.

The brunette in question jumps at the break in silence and turns wildly towards where Skylar was now standing. The simple action nearly makes her topple over and it takes everything within Skylar to not laugh. In the four years, she’d known Bella, she had been witness to Bella’s clumsiness many times and each time it made her chuckle in concealed mirth.

“ How come you didn’t go with my dad, Leiah and Cole ? ” she asks softly as the brunette walks forward into a hug.

“  _ Given my history here _ – ” Bella sighs and Skylar quirks a brow in curiosity “ I figured I was safer walking in with the bitch of La Push. ” 

Her laughter is immediate as she hears Bella words, hears the nickname she’d been given by those in Forks pass her lips. It had been years since Skylar had heard it and only now could she see the irony in it. Being part lupine meant in actual fact she was a bitch, but an alpha bitch at that. Or she would be -  _ one day _ . Yet the irony in the situation is the fact Bella thought it was safer with Skylar, the one who would once again end up on the wrong side of Sam. If news of her and Bella’s relationship meets his ear.

“ And where’s Emmie-Jo ? ” 

Briefly, she realises she’d wanted to say ‘the little wolf’ -  _ Paul’s nickname having already infected her brain _ \- and it takes her sheer willpower to not speak the words. Which was hard as even mentally she had started referring to her daughter as such and she was sure by now it had spread to a few of the other pack members.

“ She’s gone ahead with Sonny and Mina. ” 

Skylar hums in agreement as she lazily watches Bella move around the kitchen, her fingers once more returning to her waist-length hair as she works to put it into whatever style she was after. Tonight was the official beginning of her brother’s wedding preparations - a party to combine both his family and Mina’s and forge long-lasting bonds. And Skylar was being forced to wear a damn dress. It was a good thing she loved her brother.

She knew the opulence of the night ahead had nothing to do with Mina’s parents, rather it was Skylar’s father. He was the banker behind tonight’s adventure and due to the fact he’d made his money in the wood trade - it meant he had a lot to throw around and to spoil  _ his only son and his fiancee _ . It made Skylar fill with apprehension at the fact this was in her future, when she finally grew close to being married. Her father showing her off like a jewel, glistening in his money.

Eyes travel to the clock to see she had less than an hour before the official start and sighs before turning and heading upstairs towards the luxury that was the shower in her bathroom. She would rather not attend the party but she knew that her brother would come looking for her, and even if she escaped to the solace of dreams, the younger Ragnulf would viciously drag her from them.

Her eyes momentarily land on the dress bag laying on her bed and a short groan falls free of her lips - _ she hated dresses _ \- and given she had asked Leiah to purchase her dress, she could only guess what it was the elder woman was making her wear. Sighing in resignation she drags herself to the bathroom, a path of clothes following her as she undresses before slipping under the water, hissing as the first shoots of cold land on her overheated skin.

Rushing through what most call a military shower -  _ in under three minutes _ \- she sets about doing her hair and make-up. Keeping her hair in its natural straight length she throws half up and allows the other half to fall over her shoulders, the length stopping just below her shoulder blades. She also decides to keep her make up simple, choosing a light smokey look on her eye and deep eyeliner to accentuate her whiskey eyes before applying a light gloss to her lips.

_ She wasn’t here to impress anyone _ .

Heading back into her room she opens the dress bag but pays no attention as she slips the material over her toffee skin and only as she finishes zipping it does she turn to look at the mirror. Her head inclined in indulgence as she looked at the image before her - the image of someone she couldn’t recognize.

The dress was black which contrasted with her skin deliciously, lace covering the silky material underneath that stopped mid-thigh though she’s sure with someone shorter it would have dropped to their knees. A deep v-incision in the front exposed a delicious tease of her breasts and also broadcast her dog tags that fell between them -  _ Leiah knowing Skylar couldn’t take them off yet _ \- and she knew she would be getting more than a few looks.

The back was bare save for the straps that slipped over her shoulders, the waist of the dress starting just above her tail bone and the phoenix that shone against her skin was completely exposed and on view. It was almost amusing that she’d be broadcasting such a thing, given the male who designed it for her now wanted nothing to do with her. It was his mark, and bound her as his. 

_ But it was what it was _ .

Slipping on the gold glittering flats that Leiah had left for her she grabs her purse and heads back downstairs. Her steps are still silent on the wood of the stairs despite the shoes she wore. It amused her sometimes, how it took more concentration to make noise now, then it used too to stay silent.

“ I’m pretty sure that dress is going to earn you quite a few looks, and those looks more than Paul’s fist. ” Bella comments softly as she drinks in Skylar’s appearance.

Her lips curve into a smile as she shakes her head. “ You forget, Paul wants nothing to do with me. Therefore, in my opinion,  _ people can look all they want _ . ” 

Bella’s laughter is soft as the brunette shakes her head.

“ Oh, tonight is going to be amusing. ” 

Skylar couldn’t help but agree. But she was thankful that Bella was here now, and was completely up to date on Skylar’s current predicament with her mate. She hadn’t mentioned Bella’s own imprint -  _ figuring that was Sam’s place  _ \- but when it came to Paul. She’d needed another opinion and luckily, Bella was neutral. She didn’t know Paul well enough, despite having met him years ago, and thus offered nought but impassive advice.

Grabbing the keys to the car the two head out and start towards the party - whilst it wasn’t too far away, Skylar didn’t trust Bella's ability to walk upright in the heels she wore. She may have been less clumsy than she was in her youth but it was still far too clumsy for Skylar’s liking. And as much as an ER visit would amuse her, she didn’t have the patience.

The short car ride is initially filled with silence before Bella breaks it, her eyes dragging over to Skylar as her teeth sink into her lips, a habit Skylar had noticed almost immediately. And one that spelt that Bella was trying, and failing, to keep something to herself.

“ I can hear your question from here. So you might as well ask it. ” she chuckles, whiskey eyes momentarily dragging to Bella and then back to the road.

She notes a sheepish grin blooming on Bella’s lips and smirks. “ I was just going to ask. How’s the hunt going ? ”

“ It’s not,” she replies instantly. “ For some reason, I can’t seem to find the fucking assholes leaving the scents. And it’s driving me insane. ” 

Bella’s chuckle has her looking over and raising an eyebrow. Wondering just what in that whole sentence had amused the other so much. Luckily Bella doesn’t leave her in suspense long as she rests a hand atop of Skylar’s arm in deep thought.

“ Skylar, you are the pack's best tracker because of  _ that freaky gift you have _ . But more than that, you are second in command. Not because you’re going to be alpha one day, but because you have a military mind. Maybe you don’t look at this hunt the way you are,  _ like a wolf _ . But look at it like a soldier, what would you do if this was someone trying to break into camp in the middle of the night. ” 

Her mind churns as Bella’s words seep deep into every crevice of her brain and soon a deliciously feral smile pulls at her lips and Bella responds with a saccharine one of her own. Pride blooming in her chocolate gaze at being able to help. Leaning over Skylar kisses her cheek softly before pulling into the parking lot of the only resort in La Push.

It was near the outskirts of the town but also close enough that any visitors felt a part of the tribe. And tonight the main hall was going to be filled with nearly every resident as well as some from Forks and other areas to celebrate the upcoming wedding of her brother and Mina. Which translated as one hell of a headache.

Sighing as she climbs from the car and locking it the moment Bella is out, she extends her arm allowing Bella to hook her own through as the two head inside. Almost immediately the smell of food, alcohol and wolves assault her senses and it takes her a moment to recover from the sensory overload.

“ Skylar. Bella. About time. ” 

Sonny’s loud voice covers the distance from where he was standing near the bar towards the doors they had just walked through and Skylar doesn’t miss the way every wolf seems to look in their directions, their gazes locked on Bella who was almost trying to disappear into Skylar’s side.

“ Chin up. Remember you’re a guest of me and my brother. ” 

Whilst she had whispered the words in Bella’s ear she knew that every wolf had heard it and she sheepishly looked over at Sam to see him staring at Bella with an intensity she had only ever seen in one other wolf -  _ Paul _ . It was the look of a wolf seeing their imprint after so long apart. Her heart constricts at that knowledge but before she can comment any further she clocks the raging storm that was charging straight towards her. Handing her purse to Bella she kneels just in time to stop Emmie-Jo from slamming into her legs.

“ Mommy. ” The toddler cheers gleefully as her arms wrap tightly around her neck.

“ Hello munchkin, I missed you. ” 

Hugging her daughter tightly she follows Bella and Sonny towards the bar, listening as the two talk animatedly about the upcoming wedding and Sonny once more trying to convince Bella to be a part of the bridal party. It was a disaster waiting to happen -  _ she could see it now _ \- and luckily so did Bella. But Skylar knew her brother, he was stubborn and so was Mina, meaning just like Skylar herself, Bella would no doubt end up a bridesmaid.

Turning her nose into Emmie-Jo’s hair she frowns lightly at the other scent clinging to her daughter and inhales, shock running through her system as she recognises Paul’s scent. And whilst every part of her wanted to find out why, she keeps her curiosity to herself and instead listens to her daughters babbles about her stay at Sam’s house, the toddler taking great pleasure in now having both hers and Bella’s attention.

“ You’ve got an admirer. ” Sonny whispers, low enough that no other wolf could hear.

Frowning, she follows her brother’s looks and sees Paul staring at her intently, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them and she wasn’t sure the reason. Was he angry she was here? Was he angry she had brought Bella? Or was it something else, when it came to Paul - she was beyond confused.

“ He wants me to stay away from him, and I will respect his wishes. ” 

She makes sure her voice carries to where he’s sat before turning towards Bella once more, yet she doesn’t miss the smirk that was slowly curling on both Sonny and Bella’s lips -  _ neither of them truly believing her _ \- for they knew she could be stubborn, far more than anyone in this room. And they knew she was also helplessly in love with the most volatile wolf in La Push.

“ If you say so sis,  _ if you say so _ . ” 

She shakes her head as Emmie-Jo shuffles wanting Bella and the she-wolf hands her over before turning and ordering a beer. Whilst getting drunk was something she couldn’t do thanks to her animal metabolism, she sure as hell was going to need a drink to get through being this close to Paul.

_ This close and yet so far away _ .


	14. Burn me alive.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

There had been a thing when she was human,  _ well fully human anyway _ , where if she drank any form of alcohol when she was tired. She could be found curled up in a corner passed out and sleeping like the dead. It was wise to say that as a wolf that hadn’t changed, even as she poured more alcohol down her throat, she was exceptionally close to joining her daughter in the land of dreams.

It had been a few hours since their arrival and once they’d gotten the speeches and gifts out of the way for the engaged couple, both herself and Bella had taken to mingling. It had been heartwarming to watch Bella reunite with her father but there was also the taint of a restrained bond. A part of her hoped Bella could fix it, every girl needed her father.

_ Something she knew personally _ . Because whilst her bond with her father had been strained as a child, she had needed him these last ten years and he had been there. The quiet strength at her back and whilst her paranoia was now making her doubt their every conversation, it didn’t change the fact she needed her father.

She also was aware of how Bella was avoiding the pack if she could help it. She would interact with Seth and Sonny the most, laughing at the two jovial members who you couldn’t help but smile around. But the others, such as Jacob, she was trying her hardest to avoid. And if one of them got too close, she would snuggle either straight into Skylar’s side or Cole’s. The two became her sort of bodyguard’s.

_ It was amusing as hell _ .

But she didn’t miss the looks Sam kept sending her, because of how close she and his imprint were and nor could she ignore the questions that burned in his eyes. But it wasn’t her place to voice them, and if he wanted them answered then he needed to find his balls and ask his imprint himself.  _ She wasn’t of his pack _ , meaning she didn’t clean up his problems.

She had a bucket load of her own and didn’t need anyone else’s. After helping Leiah get Emmie-Jo into the car as well as double-check that her stepmother knew where she was going, she heads back inside. Her eyes drifted to where Bella was talking with Sonny, far closer to the pack than Bella probably wanted, but she was with Sonny and the younger Ragnulf knew how to read a situation just as well as she could.

As she walked through the crowd of her fellow tribemates, she’s once more subjected to their looks. She knew the meaning for them,  _ she wasn’t that little girl anymore _ , but more than that they all remembered what she was like when she was last home. Now it was plain to see she was different, her muscles far more defined and she was showing her hard work proudly. From the way her arms and legs were exposed, as well as the dog tags against her heart.

She had seen more than one look drift to the scar that could be seen, the scar that showed her life had nearly been stolen once. But it’s as the eyes drifted over her face, that a smirk took its place permanently on her mismatched lips. It was almost as though they could tell she was far more dangerous than she had once been. As though her aura all but screamed that her scars were because she survived and the one that gave her said scar, _ no longer did _ . And it just amused the fuck out of her,  _ it was her skin _ , and she showed it all proudly.

Her head turns as she notes Sonny comes to stand beside her and announce a shot race, her eyes skimming the crowd to see Bella now stood with Cole and in the middle of what seemed to be a heated debate with Jacob. She could hear every word and her smirk grew in size across her lips as she heard Bella’s backbone play out before the whole pack. The girl didn’t have one before they met,  _ but she did now _ .

“ Show me what you got sis. ” 

She clinks her shot glass against Sonny’s before the two throws back the shots with liquid grace, Mina watching in amusement, as they neck them with a speed that only came because of what slumbered beneath their skin. And yet despite the laughter bubbling up her throat, she stays tuned in to the conversation happening behind her. She was forever clued into Bella, after all,  _ she had brought her _ , she had forced her to once more be around the pack. And she wasn’t going to leave the brunette to handle the sharks alone.

“ Oh please, Skylar’s given me more orgasms than that sparkly dick ever did. ” 

As Bella’s words register across the room, Skylar chokes non-gracefully on her last shot at the same time Sonny does -  _ Mina luckily deciding against the shot race _ \- before the two Ragnulf siblings laugh loudly. Both of them reacted for different reasons, for Sonny it was the fact he had never heard Bella curse in any form. But for Skylar, it was because,  _ at that moment _ , she wanted the floor to swallow her whole.

Lowering her head to the bar she works to get her laughter under control before turning to look at Bella, the brunette looking sheepishly from Skylar to a now very pissed off Sam. The sight itself has her laughing harder and Bella shakes her head before moving back across the room. As she goes to reach for another drink, Skylar moves quickly and removes it from her hand.

“ Given what you’ve just announced to the room. Safe to say it’s time you slow down _. _ ” she teases lightly, her brow hitching high on her face in a hidden challenge.

“  _ What _ – ” an air of faux innocence bleeds into Bella’s words as her chocolate gaze locks with Skylar’s whiskey one. “ He was still calling me a leech lover.  _ So I corrected that analogy. _ ” 

Eyes widen at Bella’s words as her mind pulls forth the conversation where Bella explained her relationship with the La Push pack and divulged the knowledge of how Paul called her a leech lover. Paul, who was her mate and now aware of the fact she’d been sleeping with Bella. All thanks to the brunettes inebriated loss of brain filter. Because if anyone would take that sentence for what it truly was,  _ it would be Paul _ .

_ Yeah, the floor needs to hurry up and swallow me whole _ , she thinks as her gaze drags over to the wolf in question. His face a mixed bag of emotions, from the deliciously sinful curve of his lips to the challenging brow that lifted opposite. A feral glint shone in his eyes and right now, she didn’t want to know why it was there. Or what was running through his mind. But his look confirmed her thought -  _ he had figured out Bella’s words _ \- and he had an answer for it.

Turning back to the bartender, she can see amusement shining in his blue eyes and he doesn’t question as she moves to order a harder drink. She was going to need it because now Bella had just landed them both in hot water and no way did she have enough alcohol in her system to deal with it. But on the flip side, she didn’t care -  _ she was done keeping secrets _ \- and if anyone wanted to question hers and Bella’s relationship then they could. They were best friends,  _ who slept together _ , but they were still only friends.

Bella had already delicately stepped aside upon the knowledge that Paul was her mate. Bella didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t move forward and fix the mess she had built. Hell, she could still remember every word of the three-hour lecture where Bella told her to give Paul a chance.

_ To stop running from fate _ .

She shakes her head and returns the drink to Bella’s fingers, after all,  _ what more damage could be done _ . They were still stuck here for a few hours and given the fact it was now just the pack and some of the other ones of their age group. Things were bound to get more interesting, and Bella might just need her lack of filter to survive it.

“ If he chews my ass out. I’m kicking yours,” she growls low in Bella’s ear only to be met by a smirk gracing the younger brunette’s lips.

“ Now Major, we both know you’d rather he eat you out. But I’ll take the ass-kicking.” 

She groans as Sonny and Mina’s laughter once more surrounds them, joined by raucous laughter behind them and her head shakes. She regretted helping Bella find herself,  _ to find her inner bitch _ , as right now all that work was being thrown in her face and she was sure she was going to end up dying of embarrassment.

“ Watch it, Swan.  _ I will get revenge. _ ” 

Bella simply winks in return. “ I can’t wait. ” 

Of course, no one else in the room knew that their arrangement, _ for lack of a better term _ , had come to an end and they were now just friends and as she looked around, she could see more than a handful watching them. As though they were the best new entertainment that had walked through the doors. Sam and Paul,  _ however _ , were watching them for different reasons and Jacob looked as though someone had pissed in his cheerios.

Honestly, you’d think his childhood crush would have died by now. Given that one of the imprints she’d yet to meet was his. A nice girl from what she’d gathered during the introductions, but any blind person could see that Jake was still hung up on Bella. And due to him being one of those that hurt her, she wasn’t giving him the time of day. Something her cousin was taking offence too and had Skylar itching to slap him for.

But that was it’s own clusterfuck and one she’d rather not get involved in. She wasn’t here during Bella’s time and thus she knew nothing about what happened. She only had Bella and Sonny’s side to go off and from what she could gather, it was not the best time for anyone.  _ Bella or the pack _ . Add on to that the fact that Bella was still scared that the Cullen’s would find her one day, it stopped her getting close to anyone. Cole and herself only just managed to break through those walls.

As the man in question walks over and throws his arm over Bella’s shoulder, the small gathering can hear the growl from across the room,  _ minus the two humans _ , and all three wolves share an amused grin before ignoring it completely. If Sam had an issue, it was his problem. Whilst she wished him the best, he had basically done the same thing as Paul and that was his own fault.

“ So Bella, when are you going to give up on dear Skylar and realise I’m the man for you ? ”

Bella’s returning look would have given Paul a run for his money. “ You know Cole,  _ you are so right _ . You’re just the man I've been looking for and I need your cock in me right now. ”

A dangerously feral smirk overtakes Cole’s lips as Bella's words settle in and Skylar can’t contain her laughter, the glass of scotch in her hand shaking with the tremors of her laughter. Sonny was leant against her shoulder as he too fought to contain the laughter ripping its way through his system.

And yeah, maybe they were all having a little too much fun at Sam’s expense,  _ but they didn’t care _ . The alcohol was flowing freely and none of them was pretending to be anything they weren’t. If La Push thought this conversation was weird, then they really didn’t want to find out half of their previous conversations.

“ There is always a threesome you know – ” Cole utters leaving his words hanging and causing a brow to hitch high on Skylar’s face.

“ If I was down for a threesome Cole my dear,  _ I would choose Sky and Paul _ . After all, I do love the dangerous type and both of them fit that perfectly. ”

She laid a mental bet that by morning her sides would be hurting from the sheer intensity of her laughter, tears rolling down her toffee cheeks as the conversation flowed around them. She hadn’t expected this when she’d invited Bella, but she was glad she did. Her friend was no longer the timid lamb she’d been and she was showing it, and was slowly erasing Skylar’s fears for the night.

Subconsciously her eyes drift over to Paul, his eyes still as intense as before but a grin she knew all too well rode his lips. His mind had painted the picture associated with Bella’s words and some part of him, however small, was indeed on board. It caused her laughter to increase at the sheer audacity of it all, the fact that even a small part of her brain was thinking about it.

_ All of them were fucked up or crazy _ . She just wasn’t sure which it was.

She tracks the other wolf as he throws back his drink before heading towards the exit, her every muscle tensing as she drinks in his graceful gait. Even relaxed he oozed danger, a sign that he was a  _ predator in its purest form _ . A lick of desire rushes through her veins, her eyes locking with his obsidian gaze as he looks over his shoulder before disappearing between the wood.

Sighing, she throws back the drink in her hand, relishing in the burn as she places it back on the wood of the bar and follows after Paul. Her fingers coming up to wipe the tears off her face and return her features to some semblance of normality. Laughter still sparkled in her eyes but her face no longer showed the results of it. Stepping outside she hisses as the now much cooler air dances across her heated skin, the balance between hot and cold giving off the perfect remedy for her tired frame.

Awareness blooms over her skin, the caress of it feeling like a lover's touch as her head turns loosely to the right and then the left. Her eyes immediately settled on Paul as he leant against the corner of the building,  _ his expression was like steel _ , no emotions on show. But his eyes were alive with words she wished she could truly name. 

With a jerk of his chin, she watches as Paul whipped around on his heel and disappeared around the side of the building. Casting one fleeting glance over her shoulder, she finds herself doing the same. Her gait was much slower and more reserved than the animalistic one of Paul. By military routine, her eyes survey her surroundings, and she could easily tell that this was the service side of the building with no windows in sight –  _ the perfect place for privacy _ . 

Though with how many supernaturals were crammed into one room, she’d put her money on the fact that they could hear. And she hoped, with nearly every morsel of her being that they were too scared of her and Paul’s combined tempers to dare to eavesdrop. But hope was a losing game,  _ every fucking time _ . She just prayed it didn’t bite her in the ass this time.

“ So is there a reason you’re breaking your own rules ? ” she drawls, her arms coming to cross over her chest.

Yet there was no animosity in her words, just pure amusement. Though she wasn’t sure if that was the fault of the alcohol in her veins. Or the leftover amusement from the conversation -  _ she couldn’t exactly say _ . With a gracefulness that was part supernatural and part Paul, he turns, his eyes piercing hers the moment he was facing her and ensnaring her in the trap that was him.

“ You are a fucking tease, " he whispered.

She swallowed thickly as he prowled toward her with each spoken word. Her mind trying to play catch up with her previous actions to know what prompted those words to leave his mouth.  _ But once more _ , he took what she thought she knew and spun it on its head. Thoroughly confusing her and leaving her grasping at air.

Spine straight and chin high, he stops less than a foot away, staring down at her over the plains of his cheeks. He was so close that she could  _ smell _ his decadent scent,  _ hear  _ his heartbeat, thumping as harshly as she knew her own was. His gaze, as harsh as razor blades cutting through her and leaving her a bleeding mess in his hands.  _ Only for him would she bleed so willingly _ .

" What, " she whispers, very aware that her breath was far too shallow to make it a true question.

His lips kick up in a smirk she hadn’t seen since she was his, since she was wholly his and it causes a shuttering gasp to rip it’s way past her lips. She blinks in surprise as his hand raises abruptly towards her. But the touch of his fingertip was gentle, oh so gentle.  _ And like a match to kerosene blood, she burned _ .

Fire raced through her veins as his finger ghosted down her chest. Slowly but surely moving across the chain of her dog tags and further down, stopping right over the scar over her heart. His thumb twitching out to run over it, once, twice. And she stood there,  _ burning in pure ecstasy at his touch _ . She watches as a frown contorts his perfect features for a second, as though realisation dawned at just how close to death she had come, how close she’d come to never coming back to him.

_ If only he knew _ .

A part of her, a very small part of her, knew he was breaking her words. Touching her without her permission and yet she didn’t want him to stop. Every part of her wanted him close,  _ wanted him near her _ . He could wrap his hands around her throat and strangle her, and she’d die happy. Nothing but his touch upon her skin mattered at this moment.

_ That was his control over her _ . That was how much she still burned at his simple touch. She was done denying it, done denying the fact that she was  _ HIS _ . She always had been, since she was fifteen years old she had belonged to Paul Lahote.  _ Mind, body and soul _ . And she was done hiding, all she had done was cause them both immense pain.

Slowly his fingers danced upwards once more, teasing along the metal chain once more and upwards over her neck. His hand moulded to her skin just as slowly,  _ as though it belonged there _ , skirting so sensuously along her jaw that she instinctively leaned into his palm while her mind swam. All conscious thought disappearing like dust on the wind at the feel of him against her.

His hand smooths down the side of her neck, fingers curling at the nape of her neck while his thumb stroked over her windpipe to the hollow of her throat. Subconsciously she swallows, her mind briefly recalling her previous thoughts but still, she doesn’t move.  _ Still, she stands there at his mercy _ .

Abruptly his hand dove into her ebony hair and fisted soundly, pulling a gasp of surprise from her lungs. Widening eyes searching his face wildly for clues. Yet Paul’s smirk only grew as her eyes flicker over every available inch of skin, as though the answer to what he was doing would be written there for her to see.

She could feel him pulling on her hair, tempting her head to the side. She submitted as he braced his other hand above her frame.  _ Effectively caging her between the wall and his heated body _ . Dragging in a breath, she moans quietly as the taste of him blooms over her taste buds, a dark decadent chuckle rumbling in Paul’s chest as he hears it.

Any questions she once thought about asking were instantly irrelevant at just a whisper of his breath against the column of her throat. His nose across her skin, leaving a blazing trail in its wake. Her hands come up to his chest in an effort to brace herself and desperately search for boundaries in the  _ game she was effectively losing _ . Slowly he traced the curve of her neck all the way down to her shoulder, his breath pouring over her skin while her heart stuttered and long-smouldering embers of desire whipped into a burning inferno. Without warning his hot tongue lapped deliberately up her pulse to her ear. 

" This, " he whispered but she no longer remembered what the hell they were talking about.

He released her hair and his hand crept down her neck then brazenly over her breast. Her nipple rose eagerly to meet him as chills raced over her skin like a treasure map.

" Paul, " the words a shallow hiss as she fights to get her traitorous body under control. All of her melting like putty in his hands and begging him for more.

An eyebrow hitches high as he waits for her to speak more, his gaze locked firmly on hers even as his hands continue to wander. Down across her hip to mould over her hips and pull her lower half closer against him but not as close as she wished to be. His eyes dared her to stay in place as soon his fingers trail across the flesh of her thigh, and closer to the sensitive underside causing another hiss to pull across her teeth like a whisper. She felt like she was caught in a wildfire,  _ her mind playing catch up to what was happening _ , and yet her body was fully aware and not having a care in the world as it burned. Burned so efficiently, burned for Paul alone.

She had been with other males since she had left, and yet none had caused her desire to burn so brightly. No others,  _ not even Bella as harsh as it sounded _ , could bring her to such heights with a simple touch like Paul was doing. All of her submitting to him willingly as a soft mewl escaped her throat and pierced the air between them.

Desperately she made one last bid for sanity. " Paul, " 

The words spat with a harshness she didn’t feel, trying to scoot from between him and the wall. She couldn't think while he was touching her. She couldn’t even breathe with him this close. His other hand snaps up to the wall with a hard slap, caging her between them and eyes once more lock her firmly in place. One corner of his mouth kicked up, as he sniffed a decadent chuckle full of mirth and desire.

" What do you want ? At this moment,  _ right now _ ? " he croons, low and languid and the tone of it screaming nothing but pure fucking sex.


	15. To be lost in you.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

If someone was to ask her at this moment,  _ with exacting clarity _ , to state her military rank and name as well as spell it -  _ she wasn’t sure if she could _ . Her whole mind was spinning, every single one of her nerve endings short-circuiting and yet at the same time highly aware of how close Paul was. Her tongue snakes out to wet her dry lips as she tries to remember what the hell were they talking about.

Paul’s mere presence and the alcohol in her veins seemingly making her a less than glorious mix of drunk and brain dead. Which for a shapeshifter was one hell of a feat, at this rate she was going to set some sort of record.

Indolently she remembers the question he had asked and she wasn’t even sure she had an answer. Well one that was born of rational thinking as right now, at this moment all she wanted was him. Though that came with a side of nakedness that she knew wasn’t born of rational thought. It was not the best time for them to slip into old habits -  _ a glorious habit _ \- but a habit anyway.

“ Nothing. ” She whispers in confusion.

She searches his face, looking for anything. A lifeline she could cling too in the storm that was her body at this moment. The words she truly wanted to speak catching in her throat but she had to keep her mind straight, she didn’t know if they’d survive irrational choices.  _ The bond between them was frayed enough as it was _ , her fingers bleeding from how harshly she was clinging to them. 

_ One more break and they’d never recover _ .

Paul throws his head back and laughs, the sound reverberating off the silence that clung around them. His body shaking from the intensity of his laughter and in her current mindset, she wasn’t completely sure if he was laughing at her words,  _ or her _ .

“ You,  _ Skylar Leone Ragnulf _ , are a cock blocking tease. ”

Before the words even registered to her sensitive ears, his arms settle under her thighs and had her pressed against the wall in the time it took her to blink.

As though a bomb was ticking away under her skin, the mere feeling of having him so close causes her to break apart at the edges. All rational thought skirting out of her brain as his heated frame presses against hers, the scent of him dancing over her every sense. It was nearly enough to make her cum right then and there.

As his hot lips take purchase upon her throat,  _ mapping and tasting every inch he could reach _ , his hips roll pointedly, pressing against the apex of her heat, his want pressing so deliciously against her own that her eyes close as a groan pelts its way free of her mouth.

She throws her head back, not even caring as it bounces off the normally unyielding stone and litters the two of them in a fine sheet of dust and brick. Once more she was slapped in the face with the knowledge that no one else could make her feel this, no one else could make her come undone with his touch alone.

Using his far bigger and muscular frame,  _ he pins her to the wall _ , his chest securing her in place as his hands drag across her thighs, pushing the skirt of her dress higher and exposing more of her to his hungry touch. Her legs wrapping around his frame in a familiar act that screamed only one thing.  _ She was home _ .

“ Now, are you going to tell me what it is, you want ? ”

Honestly,  _ he was going to engage her in conversation _ . Did he think she was fucking wonder woman or something as right now she was positive she didn’t even know what the English language was, never mind fucking speaking it ! 

Her thoughts run rampant as she fights to grasp hold of her thoughts, clinging to them with the tips of her fingers as everything escaped her, leaving her with one intense want -  _ Paul _ . Her tongue darts out and glides across her lips in a slow tantalising dance as she battles to regain her sanity. Gasping against the riptides of desire she was lost within.

His breath curls over the shell of her ear as he chuckles, the sound of it like rich chocolate. “ Skye, answer me. ”

“ Fuck. ” she curses harshly as he lazily rolls his hips against hers once more, the action prompting her eyes to snap open and ensnare him in her own desire filled gaze. “ You.  _ I want you _ . ”

As though her words were the key to his desire breaking, a slow smile graces his sinful lips before they crash against her own. It was a kiss filled with intense desire,  _ pain and heartbreak _ and was delicious in its taste. The heat burning between them and singeing them raw as her hands tighten at the nape of his neck, either pulling him closer or holding herself steady,  _ she wasn’t sure _ .

A harsh press to the bare flesh of her ass has her mouth dropping open in a gasp and Paul uses it to his advantage. His tongue plundering inside her wanton heat and inciting a battle for dominance that could rival any they’d had in the past. Her wolf rearing forward from its slumber to taint her every action,  _ taunting him _ , daring him to truly try and make her submit.

Though a deeper part of her, wrapped in the sounds of a small voice rears its ugly head as it whispers inside of her mind, the words it speaks dousing her in ice water and causing reality to come crashing back into her like a sledgehammer. 

Pulling away, her hands push at his shoulders and she’s thankful that there was a fair strength advantage between the two, for if not she’d have failed at such a task.  _ Her eyes flicker between each of his own _ , cataloguing every emotion as it bloomed within his obsidian gaze. Looking for answers to the silent questions that now burned inside of her mind.

“  _ We can’t _ . ” she gasps, painfully sober in comparison to just five seconds ago.

“ Why not ? ” her eyes roll skyward at the heated bass of his voice, the desire still cradled in every syllable and threatening to pull her under once more. “ Let go, Skye. For once, don’t think,  _ just act _ . ”

God those words were so tempting, and yet she couldn’t just give in. Even if her body still betrayed her and she could smell the headiness of her desire on the air. She could feel him as he continues to slowly roll his hips towards her, oh so close to once more setting the inferno loose within her.

“  **_No_ ** . ” 

Her words a growl, fingers tightening against his shoulders as nails dig beneath his skin, a luminescent glow shimmers in his eyes and yet she knows it’s not his wolf.  _ It’s hers _ . Loud and proud within her eyes and oh so close to the surface that the next few moments danced dangerously on a razor’s edge.  _ A coin toss of fate _ .

“ A week ago you told me you didn’t fucking want me, you were done pining after me. Now you hear one evening of conversation from Bella and all of a sudden you’ve changed your mind. ” she spits, an eyebrow hitching high on her face. “ Tell me, is this out of jealousy or something else. Because if it’s just your jealousy leading your actions,  _ you can fuck off right now _ . ”

The words are harsh and as chilled as ice as they wash over them both heavily, And whilst she wished to take them back, to retract them and bury them deep inside of her chest she couldn’t. For if she gave in to the desire still simmering between them,  _ she would be doing more than giving herself over _ . She would be forever binding herself to him. The mating bond became like steel around her heart, making it so from that moment on she was his. Never again could she lay with or love another. She would forever be Paul’s,  _ every part of her _ .

And she wouldn’t do that, without it meaning something. She wouldn’t sign herself over completely if he was doing this just to save his ego.  _ She refused _ . And knew despite their issues, their bond was worth more than that. Their bond deserved more than that.

But to say her libido wasn’t willing to forgo that train of thought was an understatement. One small touch from him would have her burning once more and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to say no a second time.  _ If she burned once more _ , she would willingly slumber in the flames and all precautions and warnings could disappear

“ I can smell how much you want this – ” words crooned against the shell of her ear. “ Stop lying to yourself. Trouble. Just give in. ” 

Oh god, she forgot how good he was.  _ At how he could play her so fucking well _ , for as she concentrates on his words, on the tempting and decadent thoughts they birthed within her, his fingers twist the fragile fabric of her lace underwear and the ripping sound flutters on the breeze. Her eyes widen marginally for half a breath before snapping closed as his fingers flutter softly over the flesh of her heated centre.

The removal of her underwear meant she could smell the true weight of her desire, the weeping flesh bare and completely at his mercy. Her nipples once more pebbling heavily against the fabric of her dress as sweat starts to gather on her skin, her body slowly becoming liquid once more under his ministrations.

“ Let us both give in – ” 

The words are a whisper as his finger ghosts across her lips, the heat of his fingers branding his name against the flesh. The grouping of those five letters though brings her crashing to earth with a bang. As much as she knew with every fibre of her being, knew that they shouldn’t be giving in.  _ They both needed this _ . They needed the knowledge that the other was there, that the other was real. That this between them was still real.

Without warning her hands to come to settle on either side of his face, her lips once more fusing against Paul’s like a car crash. His gasp reverberates deep in his chest as he fights to pull away but her mouth was relentless, vicious and wholly animalistic.  _ Every ounce of pain, want, heartbreak, anger and longing _ of the last decade bleeding into a red-hot need that she brands against his lips.

It takes five seconds -  _ she counts _ \- before Paul once again takes over the kiss. Pushing her back with a force that once more has her head cracking off the wall behind them and causing another cloud of dust and brick to fall over her shoulders. Neither of them takes much notice, their fight for dominance more profound and bloody than the one before. Their actions showing how little of their humanity remained, how fragile the boundary between human and animal truly was.

There was no love at this moment.  _ It was pure need _ .

Her hips roll aggressively against his, the heat of her core pressing against the scratchy material of his dress pants as she whimpers her body’s plea into the heated cavern of his mouth. Her nails digging into his shoulders through his shirt to the point she can feel drops of blood begin to gather under her assault. A whimper of protest gathers in her chest as she feels his hands leave her, his jerky movements a few seconds later telling her he was now undoing his trousers and yet she wanted his hands on her. Wanted to feel them against her once more.

_ It was as though a dam had broken _ , a decade of separation spurring their every action as they clung to each other desperately, as though scared that should they let go,  _ the other would disappear _ . Once more to be gone and nothing more than a stranger.

His fingers dig into the flesh of her ass in warning,  _ and in one harsh thrust _ , he sheaths himself inside of her body.

A loud cry escapes her as she breaks the kiss on a pant, her head rolling back as she grinds her eyes closed. Getting used to the feeling of him inside of her once more.  _ It had been over two years since she’d been with a male _ , and yet Paul was bigger and thicker than any of them. Her body no longer used to the feel of him as it had once been.

_ Yet she was made for him _ . A point that’s proven as he rolls his hips, small thrusts that drag molten lava through her frame. Her eyes lazily rolling open to lock on his and once more she’s devoured by the intensity of them.  _ His mask from before was gone _ , leaving the depths of his want visible on his face.

“ Fuck – ” Paul whispers harshly. “ I forgot how fucking sinful you feel wrapped around me. ” 

Each of his words punctuated by a small thrust of his hips as they drag out the feeling of pure bliss between them. Both of them wanting to drag it out, to make the feeling of being so connected once more last forever. Yet their desire was like a rabid animal, clamouring for more, pushing them oh so close to the act of losing control.

Leaning her head forward she begins to pepper kisses along his jaw and down the delectable column of his throat, her teeth nipping at the skin and watching as marks bloomed in her wake. A glorious mixture of  _ red standing out against the smoothest caramel _ . As her lips cross over the expanse of skin where she could feel his pulse racing like a jackhammer, a soft smirk settles on her skin before her teeth sink in deep. 

With one simple action -  _ two things happen simultaneously _ .

_ First _ , she could feel the iron clad bindings of the mating bond wrap around her soul. Securing in place and leaving her a willing prisoner to their desire.  _ The one thing she hadn’t wanted to do _ , and she had done it without thinking. Her more animal needs controlling her and binding them together for as long as they both remain breathing.

_ Secondly _ , like her teeth had snapped a chord deep within him, his hips start to snap harshly as his thrusts build up in both speed and force. Moving against her in a rhythm that was parts demanding and parts pure need. The soft guttural grunts from earlier bleeding into harsh growls of both  _ wolf and man _ .

Pulling away from her spot in his neck, her eyes snap to his. Luminescent orbs shine back at her and she knew, without even needing to look, that her own eyes were swimming with the same lupine power. _ Yet those lupine eyes of his were devouring her whole _ , taking every one of her whimpers and moans and demanding more. Bleeding her dry and bringing her to life at the same time, an intoxicating feeling that she never wanted to be without.

Her eyes flutter closed under the intensity of his gaze as her head falls back against the cool brick of the wall, her back no doubt bearing the marks of its harsh edges as it cuts her to pieces. Leaving its mark on both her memory and her skin. His hips gripping hers so tightly as he both controls her actions and holds her close, so tight that she’s positive that she would be wearing the bruises for days to come,  _ her healing poorly inadequate to erase the marks of his touch _ .

“ Shit, Paul – ” her voice is soft, desperate as the coil in her stomach tightens. 

“ Come on Trouble.  _ Let me feel you _ . ” 

A whimper is her only response as his hips keep up the brutal rhythm that was slowly making her lose her mind, her fingers drawn so tight into the flesh of his body she was positive they’d ceased to work. Her hips snapping harshly against his in return as she works to climb higher in her desire.  _ Mewls of desperation fall between them _ , the words a tangled mess of want and garbled letters and yet he deciphers them all.

His lips danced across her pulse, his lips carving the answers to her pleas across it. “ What do you want, baby ? ” 

Her head shakes from side to side wildly, the mere act of talking long since abandoning her. His deep chuckle washing over her like a breeze, his teeth pressing against her skin and causing her head to fall to the side. Allowing him access to as much of her as he wanted,  _ but also handing over her submission _ . His growl of approval has her stomach clenching in desperation, her release so close that she could taste it deep in her bones. 

The feeling of his teeth in the delicate flesh of her throat in return, pushes her over the edge and with a lazy blink of time,  _ she freefalls straight towards the burning pit of release _ . A silent scream clamouring out of her throat and into the air as she shatters violently in his arms. Her pleasure causing darkness to swamp her mind and vision as nought but Paul’s guttural groan signalling his own release is heard.

She keeps her eyes closed as her pleasure rocks through her, leaving her a trembling mess in the cage of his arms. Her legs tightening as wave after wave wash over her and threaten to drown her in need. But she isn’t alone in the feeling, Paul’s own tremors rocking through him as he leans against her chest, his head pressed against the wall beside her.

Cracking her eyes open lazily, she turns slightly, her eyes falling to the mark on his neck, the mark she bound them together with. A part of her regretting that it was now riding his flesh and yet a deeper, _ more primal part _ of her loved the sight of it. Loved knowing that he was theirs and bore the mark of such a truth.

“ Fuck – ” 

As desire starts to slowly bleed out of her veins,  _ regret starts to seep in to take its place _ . Regret that she’d given in so easily, given in when the truth of what they were was still up in the air. Their bond was now whole, and from this moment on he was one of her sole reasons for living, Emmie-Jo luckily still high on her priority list.

“ What happens now ? ” 

She whispers silently, scared of knowing the answer to her question. His eyes crack open as lazily as hers previously did and she watches as he stares out the corner of his eyes. His face is a mirror image of the cocktail of emotions inside of her. Once more viable proof that they were alike, a perfect balance that they could never find anywhere else.

“ I don’t know. ” 

She didn’t blame him for his honesty. Instead, she simply nods and starts to take stock of her body, the adrenaline from earlier seeping away and leaving her feeling drained. Her back starts to sting as a dull ache settles on the base of her skull, both different results of their actions and the cause being the brick wall she was still pinned against.

“ Me either – ”

Her words weren’t needed and yet she wanted him to know, that at this moment she was as confused as he was. As lost and confused in what this meant both for them and their future.  _ There was still a lot of anger simmering beneath them _ , Paul’s words from a week ago like a shackle around their ankles, a perfect partner to the shackle now settling around her heart.

She didn’t regret the bond,  _ rather she was indifferent to it _ . She’d already sworn herself to belong to only Paul once more. So the bond did nothing but make it possible for her to keep that vow. But with it came a startling amount of questions and worries.

He rolls his hips as he pulls away, a hiss falling out at the feeling of him leaving her body. His hands slowly lowered her to the floor and gently organising her dress into its rightful place. Her legs feel like jelly as she falls back against the wall,  _ using it as a crutch _ .

Paul’s hand once more settles on the brick beside her head as she leans close, his scent drifting into her senses and dancing across the embers still simmering inside of her. She was going to fucking die if he stayed close, every fucking bit of him was made to torture her.

“ I told you, that you were still mine – ” 

Her eyes snap wide at the same time her jaw drops down, his laughter singing in the breeze as he lopes towards the forest leaving her stood there, her desire barely cooled and his words ringing inside of her ears. Yeah, he was pure fucking torture alright.

A growl rumbles in her chest as she pushes off the throat, her gaze flickering over every inch of the floor looking for the telltale black lace that signalled her now destroyed underwear. And yet she couldn’t see it, the answer to why settling in and causing her to bark out a jolt of laughter.  _ He had stolen her fucking underwear _ . Her fucking underwear.

Shaking her head she jerkily makes her way back around the side of the building, her mind still churning over the past half an hour. Her soul thrummed with the feeling of Paul, the bond attempting to jerk her in the direction he had walked. That was going to take some getting used too.

_ The constant need to be near him _ .

“ Seriously, the two of you fuck before even establishing if you still like each other. ” 

The tone of amusement has her head turning to the side to see Bella leaning flush against Cole, the easy sign of drunkenness present in her eyes that burned with amusement.  _ All of it aimed at Skylar _ , even Cole was fighting to keep the smirk off his face. Normally she’d have been bothered but she had, quite literally, had her brains fucked out.  _ So she was as happy as pigs in shit _ .

“ Oh shut up. ”

Her retort is weak even to her ears and she joins in with soft laughter as Bella and Cole let go of the laughter they were containing. Walking towards them she sighs, swiping the heels from Bella’s hands she holds out her own as she comes to a stop.

“ Can we go ? The asshole stole my underwear and I really don’t feel like flashing anyone of the reservation. ”

Bella takes mercy on her,  _ seeing how quick her mood could sour _ , and steps forward. Turning, she lowers her tall frame down slightly so Bella could clamber up her back and as the brunette settles against her she straightens. Stiffening slightly, she glances to the side to see Cole straightening her dress and smiles in thanks before the three take off in a walk back to the house. The drunkest of them settled against Skylar’s abused back.

“ So what happens now ? ” Bella asks softly, the heat of her breath skirting over Skylar’s chilled skin.

“ Truthfully, I have no fucking idea. ” she sighs. 


	16. Regret is a bitter pill.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

In the unforgiving light of morning, regret swam so deeply within her veins that she was positive she was close to drowning.  _ Her neck throbbed deliciously as the mark she would now wear forever solidified its place _ . Forever shining on her toffee skin and alerting all those with supernatural senses that she was taken. She hadn’t even thought at the time, as her teeth had sunk into Paul’s neck, and she wasn’t sure of his motives as he claimed hers in return.

That was what she hated most, the unknown aspect that surrounded the outcome of the previous night. She couldn’t call it love, that hadn’t been what they did, it was fucking. A need that had spurred both of them on and caused them to chase a high that they both needed. The feeling of the other at their weakest, but also building from it a strength that could survive the anger inside.

Yet whilst her wolf slept soundly, sated from the previous night and the feeling of the solidified bond. The human side of her couldn’t, her mind constantly churning over everything. Dissecting every string of what happened the night before,  _ reading into every touch _ , every word and praying she got answers. What were they now? Where did they go from here?

_ It was enough to give her a raging headache _ . 

Groaning low in her throat, she grasps the covers pulling them over her head and blacking out the daylight that was drifting into the bedroom through the windows. Downstairs she could hear Bella moving around as she made breakfast, Emmie-Jo’s light chatter to Leiah being the constant backdrop to the movements. She could also hear two people snoring which told her that Cole and her father were still sleeping.

All of them oblivious to the mental battle she was waging with herself, as she lowers her hand,  _ she notes how it was trembling _ . Her whole body portraying a crack addict craving it’s next fix and she knew just what her drug of choice was,  _ Paul _ . Every part of her begged and pleaded that she go to him, drown in him, let him make her whole.

For someone who was dominant by nature, it was disconcerting to know how much she craved him. Her submission to him was so willing, he was the only temple she would ever kneel before. Yet at the same time,  _ she hated feeling this way _ , feeling as though a small part of her was dying to be replaced with a complacent person that bowed to every whim of her mate.

She knew it wasn’t like that, that it wasn’t like that when it came to mates. Even if the imprint legend stated the wolf was everything the imprint needed. She knew it in her case -  **_for her and Paul_ ** \- it was more of a yin and yang,  _ a balance _ , the imprint was everything the wolf needed and the wolf was everything she needed.  _ There was no changing needed _ , they were perfectly balanced to face the world of the supernatural.

What she really needed was to hear this from Paul,  _ to hear him confirm that she didn’t have to change anything _ . He’d done it in the past, accepted her just as she was, took all her faults and loved each of them in turn. It wasn’t the mating instinct within her, it was the human part that needed his reassurance that he still accepted her for all her laws, the issues she’d traipsed through adulthood with.

_ Again it was enough to give her a headache _ .

The scent of spice and honey drifts towards her and with a lazy blink, she smiles at her baby brother, his tall frame settling into the bed beside her. His nimble fingers return the blankets over their heads before he reaches over, pulling her into his arms. Her head resting on his chest as she listens to the gentle beats of his heart.

A moment of strange clarity settles over her as she allows her brother’s arms to soothe her inner turmoil. A clarity of just how different the two of them were, yet it was a perfect balance. Something that was relevant within anything related to wolves but when it came to the two Ragnulf siblings it was even more so.

_ Sonny was the day _ . Every action he made was spurred on by his heart and whilst he had a temper, he fought to make sure that everyone was happy. A smile constantly decorating his face and his arms a soothing blanket for whatever storm someone was facing. People gravitated towards him and the way he could make them feel, the smiles he pulled forth with an easy comment.  _ He was the sun, shining bright in the darkness _ .

_ Skylar was the night _ . Her every action was spurred on by the darkness that resided within her, her need for violence making it so that every battle she fought, she was the only one that came out of it alive. People looked at her and knew there was no line she wouldn’t cross to keep people safe. She soothed them with her aura, but she kept everyone on their toes with her Shakespearean rage.  _ She was the darkness, swallowing everyone whole _ .

But together, together they  _ created a balance _ .

“ You okay ? ” Sonny asks softly, almost scared to break their comfortable silence.

“ Not really. ” she snorts softly, her eyes closing as she brings her hand up to wrap around her brother in turn.

His answering sigh was almost strange, to note him so torn as to what to do. She felt for him because right now, she was falling apart at the seams. Pulled in so many directions she wasn’t sure which way was up.

“ Stuff with you and Paul again ? ”

Were her current issues so transparent that even her baby brother knew them instantly? The answer to that was simple,  _ yeah they were _ .

“ Went aren’t they. ” she hisses sarcastically. “ Lately I feel like we’re taking one step forward, and then five steps back. He tells me he wants me to stop loving him,  _ and then fucks me against a wall _ . He’s, I’m just so fucking confused I don’t know which way is bloody up. ” 

And just like that, she grows silent. The words having spent whatever energy she had left. But it was all the truth, she was so fucking confused and it wasn’t something she enjoyed feeling. She wanted to move things at a decent pace,  _ to fix the past _ . But now she’d sunken her teeth into him, it just confused everything.  _ As did his actions _ .

“ You know, I always knew Paul was the one for you – ” he starts and consequently gains her whole attention. “ Even at fifteen the two of you just fit together. Like two puzzle pieces, you could be having the shittiest day but the moment Paul turned up, you just glowed.  _ And it was never obsessive _ . If anything it was what true love should really be. ” 

She had no idea why he was saying this, but she listened, wrapping each word around in her mind as it brought the fitting memories forward like a movie.

“ Many tried to break you up, god how many chicks tried to claim Paul. But he was yours,  _ unequivocally yours _ . When the two of you changed, growing angrier and volatile. A fact we now know is because of your wolves, but you did that together too. You never strayed, you fought together, you bled together. You two are made from the same cloth and even without the imprint,  _ you found your way to each other _ . ” 

Briefly, she wondered when the fuck her baby brother got so damn observant. Half of this shit happened when he was just ten years old.  _ And yet he had seen it all _ , seen more than anyone else. Every word he spoke was something she knew, Paul and she were like magnets, he moved, she moved. It had been that way since they were fifteen and became friends. Dating when they were sixteen had been so natural,  _ like breathing _ .

“ To everyone else the two of you don’t make a lick of sense. You never have done. But to each other you always have. And this new bump in the road,  _ you two are strong enough to fight it _ , Sis. You just need to stop tearing apart every single thought and confront him. He’s as torn as you. ” 

Her eyes close, once more she evaluates everything her brother had said. He may have been young when she and Paul got together, barely ten years old but he had always been as observant as her. On top of that, spending ten years inside someone’s head probably gave him a good outlook into the man that was forever tied to his sister. 

“ I completed the bond – ” she shivers, her body once more trembling with its need to be near Paul. “ I didn’t think,  _ I just acted _ . I took away a shred of his free fucking will. There is no way he’ll forgive me for that. ” 

“ You don’t know that – ” Sonny soothes softly as his lips press against the crown of her head. His sibling love wrapping around her in the warmest of cocoons.

“ I’m so fucking confused. ” 

She hated this feeling of being so lost, as when it came to everything else in her life. Her daughter, her career, her pack -  _ she was dead set on her path _ \- yet with Paul, she was constantly getting thrown for a loop. He challenged her, dared her to show her true potential. He incited feelings within her that she wished she couldn’t feel. With him, she burned with an intensity that threatened to swallow her whole.

It wasn’t just her anger, it was desire, it was love.  _ It was shit that she couldn’t even name _ . None of it was the mating bond, despite the fact she could feel the steel cables of it wrapped around her heart. She knew it wasn’t that,  _ because shed felt this way before _ . When she was blissfully human and in love with him the first time. 

“ Come on – ” her brother prompts. “ Get some sleep. You’ve been running on empty for the last week and we all need you at your best.  _ Emmie-Jo the most _ . ” 

She doesn’t argue, her brother knowing the words to make her comply and as her eyes close she gives in to the bone-deep tiredness that was wracking through her. She’d been tired before the party and after a whole night of not sleeping,  _ she was worse _ .

But her dreams don’t let her rest, they run rampant with the most delicious of images. Painting pictures of her life with Paul, the coldness of her life without him and the warmth of a future. 

As she slept she saw it all, their first meeting, the first time they made love. The first declaration of love. She saw how she acted without him, the constant seeking of someone to replace the whole that was Paul. The way she’d feel even emptier after a night with someone that wasn’t him.  _ Then she saw the promise of their future _ , a happy future where they still burned deep within their love. A family that was built from something that had been true before magic and the supernatural.

When her eyes blink open again -  _ a full twenty-four hours later apparently _ \- she’s thoroughly disorientated and it takes a good few moments to collect her bearings. To convince herself that she was awake and this was her reality, yet the visions from her dreams cling to her. She didn’t know if her eidetic memory was a thing for dreams but if it was, she was going to be forever haunted by what her mind had played out. A pain settling in her gut that it wasn’t real, _ that it was simply a dream _ .

Turning her head to the empty side of the bed, a small laugh flutters past her lips as she eyes the red rose sitting on the pillow. Grabbing it she brings it close to her nose and drags in the delicious scent. Roses had always been her favourite, despite how corny they were when it came to romance, there was just something about them. So innocent and yet their thorns could be deadly.  _ Much like her _ .

Throwing off the covers she listens for the other occupants in the house, Emmie-Jo giggling downstairs told her someone was at least at home with the toddler and yet she couldn’t hear them.  _ She wasn’t too worried _ , she knew some supernaturals didn’t register in movements, but the strong heartbeat that resounded deep within her ears was enough to soothe her long enough to get a shower.  _ Thankful she did it in under five minutes _ .

Though she chuckles as she spies the note left by Bella, informing her that she was seeing Charlie that morning. She was thankful that the brunette was at least conscious enough to do that, knowing if Skylar had awakened and had no idea, she’d have torn everywhere apart to find out.

Slipping on a loose tank top and a pair of jean shorts, she makes her way downstairs, fingers twirling the rose idly between them. Mentally she runs over the patrol schedule, her father having the morning shift which showed she had the afternoon and one more chance to catch the scents. And then later that night was one of the routine Quileute bonfires.

That was something she was looking forward to, for Emmie-Jo to hear the other half of her heritage and be as immersed in the legends as she had once been. Plus it was all part of her preparing her daughter for the shift. She wouldn’t do the same parenting her parents had,  _ keeping her blind to it _ , no she would make sure that her daughter knew the heritage that was coming her way. Prepare her to be the strongest wolf she could be.

Her steps falter as she finally notices who was in the house, her whiskey eyes drinking in the sight before her.  _ Paul sitting on the floor with Emmie-Jo in front of him _ . The toddler babbling about the book in front of her, Paul watching with a smile she had never seen on his face. It brings forth the images from her dreams, the weight of it slamming into her and she gasps softly. The single sound garnering the attention of the male before her.

Honestly, did this house just have an open-door policy,  _ despite the fact, a toddler lived within it _ .

“ About time you woke up mama,” he smirks, his eyes shining with hidden mirth. “ I was going to start getting inventive on how to bring you back to the land of the living. ” 

Despite the tease that rested in his words, she couldn’t help the shiver that ran down her spine. All too easily she could recall the desire that had burned within her like molten lava, the way his body felt pressed against hers and the way he had made her break in the most sinful of ways.

“ Well, as enjoyable as that would be. I’d have punched you in the face for trying. ” 

Her eyebrow hitches at him in a challenge before she finishes her traipse down the stairs, her arms immediately catching Emmie-Jo as the toddler jumps forward. Her babbles the sweetest music she would ever hear, and even as the toddler goes on about her activities with ‘ _ Pawlie _ ’ she couldn’t help but smile. Her eyes briefly moved to the wolf in question a few times before subconsciously dragged back to her daughter.

It didn’t help that every time she looked at him, her eyes would fall to his neck and be met with her mark staring back at her.  _ He didn’t even attempt to cover it _ , his eyebrow hitching high and daring her to say something every time she looked and once more she found herself drowning in confusion and silence. 

As Emmie-Jo wiggles free and runs back towards her book, she lifts her eyes towards Paul. Her mouth obscured by the mug of coffee as she waits for him to speak. Each second ticking by feeling like a knife to the heart as the silence revealed how damaged they still were. The pain that still settled between them, a decade long heartbreak that was nowhere near healed. 

“ Cole hinted to me that this mark means something for your pack, something much deeper than an imprint bond. ” His voice is so casual, even as her mind cooks up glorious ways to murder her stepbrother.  _ Violently _ .

“ And – ” she drawls, waiting for his actual question.

“ And I want to know what it means. ” 

_ He was so blunt _ , so forceful and it did nothing to quell the regret once more swimming through her. Because now she had to tell him, she had to lay it all out in front of him and she wasn’t sure if she could take that. Could she take him walking out on her once more,  _ turning away from her _ ?

She would just have to find out. She recalls her conversation with Sonny, of how he’d pointed out that she needed to stop thinking and just act. That she and Paul were strong enough to get through whatever was ailing them and she just had to give that a chance.

_ She had to give them a chance _ .

“ We don’t imprint in our pack. Our wolves can make a connection with someone that screams ‘ _ Mate _ ’ but it isn’t an imprint. As we can break it with ease. Basically we choose the person we want to mate with. My father has done it twice, both with my mother and with Leiah. ” 

_ She takes a deep breath _ . Every part of her wanting to grow silent, it was only his rapt attention that kept her talking. His eyes looking at her with a softness she hadn’t seen in a decade, as though he knew how hard this was for her. But the curiosity was brimming high, almost threatening to overflow.  _ Once more making her want to kill Cole _ .

“ The reason he’s done it twice, is because the mating bond can be easily broken. Our elders believe it’s because we all shift when we’re eighteen, every generation without fail, so there’s no point taking away any more of our freewill. So we can mate multiple times or we can mate once.  _ The choice is ours _ . ” her throat starts to grow tight. “ But in certain cases, a wolf and the human side know their true mate, the one that is destined for them and will make the bond more permanent. ” 

“ How ? ” a single word, breathed out on an exhale and yet slams into her like a gale.

“ By marking our mate as ours. Once the mark is initiated, during sex usually. We will forever be bound to that one person,  _ they become our main reason for living _ . We can only love them, we can only make love with them and we can only have children with that one person. ” 

She shifts then, congealing to her full height as she starts to pace the kitchen, a restless energy-burning it’s way through her system.  _ She wanted to run _ , her wolf prowling with the same need. Yet she wasn’t sure what she was running from, the words she was speaking, the regret in her veins, or the intensity to which Paul was watching her.

“ The mark isn’t done that often because of the side effects that come with it. If our chosen mate,  _ the one we marked _ , is to die. We die too. And vice-versa. Also because of the fact we don’t age at a normal rate, our mate doesn’t either.  _ Thus the pack rarely practices it _ . ” 

And there was the reason for her regret, not only had she forever tied herself to Paul. She had tied him to her, she hadn’t asked, she just acted. Or more accurately, her wolf had acted and stolen his freewill. His choice of whether he wanted to be bound to her.

“ Do mates that are marked, do they stay together ? ” She doesn’t miss the hitch in his voice, or the way her own heart seems to mirror it.

“ Some do. But the love can bleed out and be replaced by friendship but it’s only happened in one relationship in the pack’s history.  _ And that was my grandparents _ . A rarity as the alpha binding is more severe than that of a lower wolf. ” 

She rests her hands on the sink as she stares out the window, watching the morning breeze rustle through the trees. Her mind preoccupied as she lets the information settle within his mind. She remembered how he said that he had been glad of the imprint, but was he glad of what she’d done.

“ And before you ask. If the mark is initiated between two wolves, both will do the marking. Especially in cases where one of the wolves is an alpha.  _ Or so I was told _ . ” 

She might not have been an alpha yet, but she was born of two alpha bloodlines. So, in this case, it was definitely the truth,  _ even if she wasn’t so sure _ . She had been told so much about what her responsibilities were once she took on the alpha role, she was sure half of them were bullshit. Just to make her aware of the fact that in the Blackwater Pack, the alpha was always of the  _ Ragnulf bloodline _ .

“  _ Trouble _ – ” 


	17. To write a new chapter.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

One thing Skylar hated more than being bored, was waiting for an answer to something. She hated the drawn-out silence that would simmer between the words and allow a mind to cook up different scenarios. All of them grow worse with each passing moment. The images grow and cause a heart to beat erratically within your chest till the point you feel as though you’re going to pass out before even getting your answer.

Which right now, amusingly enough,  _ was how she was feeling _ . Her hands gripping the counter in front of her so tight she could feel the marble bow under her strength. Her fingers leaving perfect mirror grooves within the stone, her eyes staring out the window as she watches the scenery but barely pays attention to it.  _ Instead _ , she counts each beat of Paul’s heart, the cadence rattling inside of her and stringing along each of her breathes.

She was waiting, waiting for him to finish his sentence and even free her or condemn her heart. With Paul, the pendulum could swing one way or the other and given she had technically taken away his free will. She was almost positive it would swing towards condemn.  _ Given they’d fought since she’d gotten back _ , given she had hurt him for ten years and now she’d forever bound them together.

“  _ Trouble _ – ” he sighs softly. “ Why did you mark me ? ” 

God, he was going to fucking kill her with these questions. It was as though he was prolonging the torture, enjoying what this moment did to her. And yet no matter how she tries, she couldn’t hold back anymore. She was done dragging it all out,  _ she was done lying _ .

“ In all honesty, at the time I don’t know. ” her words escaping on a deep exhale. “ My wolf took over, and it was only after that I knew the true weight of what I’d done. Of how I’d taken your freewill and forever  _ bound you to me in a way that can’t be broken _ . ”

Outside she watches as a bird swoops lazily through the trees, not a care in the world. Yet in that room, as her daughter happily chirped away in the background, her whole world was falling apart. The bottom of her perfectly constructed lie falling away and leaving her free-falling through uncertainty.

“ But for the marking to take successfully, the human has to be in agreement. And, as much as I wish I could deny it. I am,  _ I think _ , no I know that the marking would have happened either way the dice rolled. Because I am yours, I have been yours since we were teenagers. ” 

_ Take a chance, take a chance _ . The words repeat inside of her mind like a mantra as she fights through each word. Wanting him to know, to lay all her cards on the table so that if he walked out the door, there was no way he could say she hadn’t tried. Or told him the truth for the first time in a decade.

“ I fucked our imprint bond ten fucking ways till Sunday. ” she spits, slipping and letting out a curse. Thankful her words were uttered quiet enough her daughter didn’t hear. Well,  _ she prayed she didn’t _ . “ And I guess the marking is my way to show you, _ that I am yours _ , I am yours in every way and I am done fighting that. I am done lying to myself and you that this isn’t where I belong. Here with you, _ you and Emmie-Jo _ . ” 

A lone tear treks its way down her cheek but she ignores it, allowing the burn behind her eyes to remind her that this was her taking a chance. That as much as she was scared, scared she had lost him forever. She had to take this chance.

“ I can only mark someone once, and without a flicker of doubt. The person my future rests with is you. ” 

There were many words she couldn’t speak, the syllables of them catching in her throat and constricting her breathing. But the truth was there, clear as day for anyone to see. She had handed over her heart, her soul, and her body to him to do what he pleased.  _ Her submission in all forms _ .

_ The decision was now his alone _ .

Silence engulfs them once more and her fingers tighten against the weight of it, her chest constricting as she fights to breathe in the suffocating atmosphere. Heated hands settle on her shoulders,  _ her frame jumping at the closeness _ , her breath stuttering in her chest as she waits. His fingers dancing down her arm cause butterflies to run riot inside of her mind and electricity to simmer over her skin. Everywhere he touched feeling as though it was burning in the most delicious of fires.

His fingers enclose over her own and gently pry them from the stone and the damage she was causing by her tightening grip.  _ She was putty in his hands _ , her mind betraying her and telling her this was it. One last touch and he would be gone, she would never see him again. Or he’d enact the same thing her grandparents lived with -  _ friendship _ \- forever closing her heart off to love.

It was strange really, how unsure she was that she even deserved it.  _ Especially from him _ . From the man, she had caused so much pain towards in her stubbornness. The man who had only ever loved her unconditionally and she left him behind like a bittersweet memory without a single thought.

“  _ Trouble _ – ” he sighs, the air of his exhale washing over her face. “ Look at me.  _ Please. _ ” 

A single word and her well-maintained control breaks in half, her body moving of its own regard as she turns in his arms. Her eyes level on his chest as she drags in a much-needed gasp of air. Slowly -  _ far too slowly _ \- she treks her eyes upwards. Exhaling softly she locks her eyes with his, his obsidian gaze drowning her as it always did, but where she’d previously drowned in his anger, and in his desire.  _ This time she drowns in love _ .

For there, in his eyes was a lock she hadn’t seen since she was a teenager. The weight of it makes her heart skip a beat as her hand shakily comes to cover her mouth, caging a wracked sob that wanted to break free.

“ Say it. ” 

Her eyebrows clinched in confusion at what he was saying, till one look in his eyes and she knew what he meant. 

“  _ I love you _ , Paul Lahote. ” 

Before she has time to react, his hand comes to frame her face. His thumb swiping up to wipe away the tears still tracking their way down her cheek. A soft smile dancing across his lips that she had forgotten. Her memory would never do Paul justice,  _ or what he looked like at this moment _ .

“ We don’t do things the normal way, do we ? ” 

A watery chuckle falls free as she shakes her head. “ We never have. ” 

Though anything they’d done in the past really didn’t hold a candle to what they’d done now. They took the book of normal and threw it out the window, rewriting every chapter as they went. 

“ Sonny reminded me that to everyone else. We don’t make a lick of sense.  _ But together we always have _ . ” 

“ He’s right. ” he sniffs a chuckle as his hand curls underneath her jaw. “ Baby I told you,  _ a long time ago _ , I would be your guide through the crazy.  _ Who knew the crazy was us _ . ” 

A small burst of laughter falls free as she leans her head backwards, drinking in his features that were now free and open. His emotions shine across every line and she swallows them whole. Cataloguing the way his eyes shone with happiness, his smile wasn’t sarcastic or angry, _ it was true _ . And all of it was aimed at her.

“ Where do we go from here ? ” 

She hadn’t wanted to ask, but she had to hear it. She had to hear him lay it all out. Her heart was still vulnerable from everything she had divulged since waking up. The bleeding cuts prolonging her torture that he was still going to walk out on her, _ leave her as she left him _ .

“ We have a long fucking road ahead of us. ” He breathes, his voice dropping as if to protect Emmie-Jo’s ears. “ We have suffered at the hands of each other, and that pain isn’t going to go away in an instant. No matter how much we both would love to blink and it is gone. ” 

_ Here we go _ .

“ Don’t do that – ” He growls. “ Don’t shut down on me again. I’m not saying no, I’m not turning away from any of this. So don’t you dare shut down on me again. ” 

She nods weakly as she sees the vehement truth in his words.

“ Just because we have shit we’ve got to repair baby.  _ Doesn’t mean this isn’t real _ . You and I are the only two that can get through this and we’ll do it together. We will turn the page, write a new chapter. ” 

“ How ? ” 

Gods,  _ now she sounded like him _ .

“ We take it a day at a time. We’re not the same people we were when we were teenagers and we need to relearn everything about each other and who we are together.  _ So we go back to the start _ , we build a stronger foundation. And with the mating mark,  _ I already know my future is with you _ . You and Emmie-Jo are my world, we just have some hurdles to get over first. ” 

Her head leans against his chest, her arms securely around his waist as she lets it all out. Her tears stained both her face and his shirt but yet they weren’t out of pain. They were the promise of a new beginning, she was letting go of everything that stood between them on the promise that from here on out, they’d fight together, they’d fight to make it work. Their love story wasn’t over.

_ It was just a new chapter _ .

“ We’re still going to piss each other off and fight, as we’re dominant wolves. But we can fight this Trouble, I know we can. ” 

“ Means we can’t sleep together. ” she teases

Though she could feel her wolf revolt at that. The animal inside not liking the fact she couldn’t be near her mate in that sense. But right now she would take anything, even the smallest crumb of Paul’s attention would show her that they could survive.

“ Good thing I won’t forget two nights ago then isn’t it – ” 

She rears back and punches him in the ribs, laughing at his exclamation of pain as she slowly pulls away. Her tears slowly dried against her skin as she breathed deeply. The weight on her chest slowly dripped away as she reminded herself that they were going to make it. Her stubbornness already taking a seat in her veins and will,  _ she would fight for him _ .

_ He was hers _ .

“ Why did you tell me to stop loving you ? ” 

His head tilts as he regards her for a moment before sighing. “ I wanted you to fight. I knew you could be stubborn when you wanted to be. And I... I figured telling you to do that, that my heart was closed off to you would make you fight. Make you fight for what we are, and prove to me, that it was real.  _ That we were real _ . ” 

She really had done some fucking damage to him, every small insight into his pain reminding her of such. She was the one who left,  _ she never returned _ . And whilst he didn’t reach out either, she was the one that could have. She could have used Sonny or anyone to send a message.

But that time was passed, now it was time for them to repair what they’d damaged. What she’d damaged.

“ Fight huh, Nah I just bite you instead – ” 

She’s saved from whatever response was forming in his throat by Emmie-Jo making her presence known. The toddler pulled on their legs as she looked between them, curiosity brimming in her jade eyes. Smiling, she leans down picking up the toddler and watching as Emmie-Jo throws an arm over Paul’s neck before doing the same to hers. Chuckling, Paul adapts to the weird hug as he leans his head against the two of them.

She’s hit once more with her dream, the dream of how her future could play out and despite Paul’s words confirming it, it’s in that moment that she truly sees it. That the two of them were her future, and any other kids they had, but this was what she had been running from. Though if she truly thought about it, she hadn’t been running away,  _ she’d been running towards _ .

She’d taken the long path but her life would have always brought her back here,  _ back to Paul _ . She could only shove the emptiness away for long before it would have swallowed her whole and brought her back. Or maybe it was hopeful thinking that in some way she would have found her way back.

A tap to her hand has her releasing Emmie-Jo to Paul’s arms and she leans against the damaged counter as she watches the way he moves with her daughter. Each step so natural as though he’d been doing it since she was a child, yet she could see the apprehension burning within each of his actions, as though he was scared he was going to hurt her. Scared that he was going to blink and she’d be gone.

Skylar knew the action, she’d been doing the same ever since Emmie-Jo had been born, scared that her ray of light would be extinguished if she moved wrong. It was something she’d carried for days and it had been Bella that pulled her out of the bottomless pit she found herself in.

“ What are you thinking so hard about mama ? ” 

Blinking, she looks at Paul and shrugs. “ Just how scared I was to be a mom. Still am if I’m honest – ” 

His scoff has her raising an eyebrow in his direction. “ Baby, you’re already doing a better job than both of our parents. Trust me okay, you’re doing fantastic. ” 

Her eyes roll playfully at his words as she pushes off the counter and heads towards the living room. Lowering her tall frame to the floor beside Emmie-Jo, she lets the contentedness of being with her daughter and her mate settle the rest of her worries. They had a long way to go, god she wasn’t blind to that, but this moment here as the two of them entertained Emmie-Jo was enough to help her breathe.

_ This was her family _ .

Soon laughter begins to bleed through the large room as they help Emmie-Jo read her book, Paul making fun of some of the characters and giving them their own voices, leading to the toddler hitting him with the book more than once. It was the most absurd sight she had ever seen, and yet it was also the best. Something she wished would last forever and thankfully would inside of her mind.

A soft growl builds in her chest as the obnoxious ring of her cell phone rings out, the high pitched tone hurting her ears for a moment as she grabs it. An eyebrow quirking as she sees her pack mate's number flashing on the screen.

“ Ryker – ” she growls the moment the call connects. “ I don’t have patrol till this afternoon and no I am not covering one of your shifts again. ” 

A strained chuckle meets her ears. “ Trust me, boss, I wish that was why I was ringing. Look something has happened and we need ‘ya. As fast as you can run would be preferable. ” 

“ What’s happened ? ” 

Immediately she’s on alert, her whole body growing rigid from the tone of her packmates voice. The bone-deep tiredness that was leaking out the small speaker and into her senses was calling forth every side of herself and merging them into one.  _ The fighter _ . She knew Ryker, he was normally so jovial that he could give Seth and Sonny a run for their money. But right now,  _ he had her worried _ .

“ Fuck – ” he sighs. “ Look it’s hard ‘ta explain okay. Just get ‘ya pretty little ass here boss.  _ We need ‘ya _ . ” 

Wide eyes flick over to Paul knowing he could hear every word that echoed through the small device, his face impassive as he looks back at her. She could see something like resignation burn behind the dark pools of his gaze. The resignation that this moment of bliss was coming to an end, and that no matter what the two would always have other obligations.

_ Of a furry kind _ .

“ Go Sky – ” Paul comments, reaching out a large hand to wrap it around her free one. “ I’ll stay with Emmie-Jo till Sonny or Bella come back.  _ Your pack needs you _ , go. ” 

She utters to Ryker that she’d be there as soon as possible and throws the phone on the chair. Leaning over her sleeping daughter she presses a small kiss to the crown of her head, dragging in lungfuls of her sweet scent as her wolf begins pacing in its cage,  _ begging to be released _ .

Turning to Paul she finds herself in his arms, his lips pressing against her hairline as he does the same thing she’d just done to her daughter. His arms speaking words in huge volumes as they soak into her skin, reminding her that the conversation earlier had happened and he was truly on her side once more.

“ I’ll be here when you get back – ” he murmurs, his voice wrapping around her like the softest cocoon. “ Just come back to me. ” 

“  _ Always _ – ” 

Leaning up she presses her lips to the curve of his jaw, lingering as she devours the taste and scent of him before she moves. Congealing to her full height she allows the energy of her wolf to ripple over her skin,  _ so close to being released _ . Her mindset changed to the one she needed. And with a straight, one laned focus she stalks out the door, shifting the moment her feet hit the last step.

Shaking out her pelt, his hisses out a deep growl, saliva dripping off the sharp curve of her canines. With a moment to sort her mind, she pushes off her back legs, using every ounce of her power to move and find out what the hell was happening with her pack. Trepidation of a different kind begins to settle in as the silence of the connection wraps around her, once more she mentally curses the distance limitations.

It meant she was running blind,  _ she was a soldier without all the facts _ .

\-- ʚɞ -- 

**A / N :** ** _Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- So I hope this chapter is what you all wanted. I know I got quite a lot of feedback begging me that Paul took it well and they started to move forward. So I hope this is what you all were hoping for. I’d truly appreciate your feedback on this chapter. I know it’s short but I really didn’t want to drag anything out.

In other news, the Sam/Bella story is now live -  **_Twin Hearts_ ** \- so if you want to read their wild ride, and the deviations from this story to spin the new one. Then please go check it out.


	18. There’s a war on the horizon.

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

A sigh of frustration peels it’s way off her lips as she leans against the unforgiving bark of a tree, her eyes cutting over to observe the bonfire currently taking place on third beach. Her view unobstructed and yet at the same time her position completely hid her from those that were attending, her scent disappearing on the wind before anyone could even scent she was there.

She wasn’t hiding, she was thinking. Her body taut and stressed as her mind replays the last twenty-four hours in fucking technicolour and perfect precision. How had her day gone from the most stressful talk she’d ever had, to a result she never saw coming - to one of the worst afternoons in her fucking history. Honestly, it was as though fate was just sitting there spinning a web and throwing as much fucking chaos in the mix as she could.

_ Fucking bitch _ , she thinks idly as she thinks over the scene that met her when she’d left Paul, pushing her wolf form to the max and cutting down the run time from her usual two hours -  _ to an hour _ \- gods she was going to pay for that. But any discomfort she’d caused herself had disappeared the moment Ryker led her to what he’d wanted her to see, his mind a jumbled mess of grief and pain and giving her more questions than answers. That was until she saw why.

_ Three dead bodies _ .

Not just any dead bodies, but parents of some of the pack members. Slashed and torn apart without a fucking care in the world, the elusive scents of the other shifters drifting around them like a god damn fucking tease. Before they’d been hunting the shifters for simply entering their territory - now it was an all-out war and the pack wanted their heads. No one touched a shifters family and lived to fucking speak about it.  _ Not in her pack _ .

The growl that had ripped free of her chest was rich and feral, her wolf rearing up and wanting blood and the soldier and human side of her was in complete and utter agreement. Yet once more, the scents slipped past them and no amount of hunting could pin them down. Not even her,  _ the best tracker of the pack could locate them _ , which was not the answers she wanted. 

Something was coming, she could taste it on the breeze. And she wasn’t sure if the pack was going to survive whatever it was. The gut feeling clinched and twisted, making her far more alert than she’d been before as her eyes once more scanned and catalogued everyone on the beach. She cared about these people,  _ she fucking loved some of them _ , and she wasn’t going to bring them into this war she found herself in the middle of.

A part of her wondered if this was her alpha side, preparing her to do whatever was needed. Or maybe it was the fact that she now had much more to lose than she did before. Either way, _ she knew better than to ignore it _ , something was coming, but she wouldn’t let it anywhere fucking near those that she loved. She was a fighter, and she’d fucking fight till there was nothing left inside of her.

Of course, that came with its own fucked up set of complications but she’d think on that another day.

Pushing off the bark she pads through the foliage and into the light, a smile settling on her face that anyone who knew her well enough would be able to see it for what it truly was.  _ A bold-faced lie _ . A shout of her name drags her eyes to Mina who stands and waves from what looks to be a drink table, her own hand raising in a wave in return.

Yet it's the shrill shout of her name that has her eyes widening and snapping towards the brunette that was currently stomping her way over, hair flying behind her wildly as a fire burned deep within chocolate orbs. To say she was pissed was an understatement, at that moment Bella Swan looked ready to go ten rounds with Satan for the opportunity to rip Skylar’s ass apart. And the she-wolf was at a loss for why.

But Bella didn’t leave her hanging.

“  _ DID. YOU. KNOW _ ? ” each word was punctuated by a rather impressive growl that would put a shifter to shame. 

Her eyes briefly dip to Bella’s hands as they clenched at her sides, the bluntness of her nails digging into the palm deep enough to leave crescent-shaped marks behind. And for a fraction of a second,  _ she was scared _ , she’d taught Bella the proper way to throw a punch and the only thing currently saving her from being on the receiving end of it, was the fact it would cause Bella more pain than her. 

“ Bella, I might be a highly trained soldier. But sometimes sweetheart, I need a few more details than that. ” 

If she thought Bella was angry before. It was nothing after those words slipped past her lips.  _ Because Bella blew the fuck up _ , Bella’s small body rocking forward and attempting to hit any exposed flesh on her frame. Shifting quickly she grabs her friend by the arms, spins her around and pins her against her chest, her fingers tightening around her wrists but not enough to cause any damage.

“ Look sweetheart. ” she croons, eyes briefly flicking upwards to see the whole pack watching them. “ After the fucking day I had, I ain’t in the mood for taking you to the ER. so how’s about we calm the fuck down and you tell me why you’re pissed. Before we end up in a shithole we can’t climb out of. ” 

She waits a moment till Bella nods lightly before releasing her and turning the brunette forwards once more, chocolate eyes locking on slowly darkening whiskey ones.  _ She would forgive Bella a lot _ , but being pissed and trying to attack her was not one of them. Especially with no fucking rhyme nor reason.

“ Did you know about the imprint ? ” 

_ Well, she wasn’t expecting that answer _ .

“ Who told you ? ” it wasn’t a confirmation, nor was it a denial. She simply needed more answers.

“ Jacob. He told me you knew. ” 

Her eyes cut to her cousin, his tall frame shrinking back from the look in her eyes and the deep growl that filters from her chest. Another growl soon mixes with hers and for once in probably never,  _ she was firmly on team sam _ , because Jacob had just fucked up beyond all belief. Honestly, she was related to a fucking idiot. Sighing she brings her hand up to rub over her face, her thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of her nose as she battles down the flare of anger that curls around her chest.

“ Yes, I knew. Leah told me not long after I returned. But listen before you fucking blow up. Paul is my imprint Bella,  _ my mate _ , which means I am bound by his pack's laws. And those laws state that no one interferes in a wolf’s relationship with their imprint. ” she growls, her eyes slicing the air as they return to pin Bella beneath the weight of them.

“ Only the fucking wolf is supposed to tell his imprint what is going on.  _ So if you want to get pissed _ . Get pissed at the wolf who has his fucking cock in a tizzy because he’s pissed Sam imprinted on you and not him. Even though he has a fucking amazing imprint himself.  _ He’s still in love with you Bella _ . ” 

She can hear Jacob’s growl ring out and once more lifts her heated glare to her cousin, her own growl building in tempo and curling with a power that her cousin would never carry.  _ The weight of an alpha _ . She knew what was bugging the pack, _ the knowledge she phased first _ , she was older than Jacob meant she was the true alpha of the pack. One of it’s deepest laws claiming it as such. She’d heard her father’s complaints about Billy’s treatment of that knowledge, stating that it was still Jacob’s due to him being male.  _ Fucking sexist asshole _ .

She didn’t want the position, yet she couldn’t change her DNA. After all, she was an alpha on her father’s side, she was one on her mothers. She was who she was,  _ and nothing _ , not her fucking childish cousin or anyone was going to change that small fact.

“ Think on that Bells, before you blame the wrong wolf.  _ The one trying to protect you _ . ” she growls “ Because that was what it was, I didn’t tell you shit because I knew it would mess with your head. And only Sam could fucking rectify the stupid decisions he’d made.  _ No one else _ . ” 

She moves past Bella with a soft growl, she hadn’t ever been truly angry with her friend. Never had a reason too and maybe it was just the fucked up day that was causing her to lose the reigns on her legendary inferno, or maybe she really was just fucking done with cleaning up the messes left by other packs.

Her eyes lock on Jacob as he sneers at her, her lips curling backwards over her teeth as her growl rumbles richly in her chest. Stalking in front of her cousin, her eyes drifting over each deep contour of his face and with a small blink as her only warning, she rears back and slams her fist into his face. Watching in deep satisfaction as blood bursts over his face from the now broken nose he was sporting.

Gripping his throat, her nails threatening to pierce the soft flesh of his neck she goes nose to nose with him. Her lips still peeled back in a sneer as her eyes burned with the fire that was raging inside. A sign that right now the control she had, was slowly slipping away. Her wolf was too close to the surface and her cousin really didn’t want to test the lengths she’d go too, to put the stupid pup back in his rightful place.

“ You ever interfere in shit that you have no fucking right too again. I swear on the blood in my veins Jacob,  _ I will fucking kill you _ . You have a fucking imprint, get over your schoolboy crush and grow the fuck up. You can’t have your cake and eat it, not in this situation. Bella isn’t yours so move the fuck on. ” 

Letting her cousin go and watching him collapse to the sand,  _ she congeals to her full frame _ . Her eyes drank in each member of his pack and wondered if any of them were going to step up and defend him. A sick shot of pleasure running through her as she watches them all back down, their eyes averted in every direction but at her. Even her uncle lowers his gaze as she levels heated eyes on him, daring him to step up for the golden boy and call her nothing more than a bitch for touching him.  _ Yet he refuses to meet her gaze _ . The only ones who meet her gaze are Sonny, Leah and Paul. The three of them fight to contain the grins that wanted to brighten their faces, Leah holding a sleeping Emmie-Jo close to her heated frame.

Smiling at them softly, she turns and walks down the beach and towards a lone piece of driftwood. Knowing her daughter was safe at that moment meant she had a moment to cage the fire burning within her. To once more put the leashes on her legendary temper and bury it beneath the facade she wore every day. She would never let her daughter see that side of her, the darkness that brewed beneath the surface.

Settling on the driftwood she lets her mind wander as she stares out over the water. Her supernatural eyes catch every glint of the evening sun as it shines on the surface of the water. The way the air seemed to swirl around her, both caressing and guiding.  _ Yet none of it helped with her inner turmoil _ , with the stress that rattled deep within her bones and plagued her every thought.

Her phone ringing breaks the chill of the air as she brings the device out of her pocket, a frown puckering her forehead as she looks at the number. She sure as shit didn’t recognize it but then again that many people had her number, it was a surprise she remembered half of who they were.

“ Ragnulf – ”

So military technique it is then.

_ A snort of laughter wrapped in a rich southern twang _ rattles down the phone and she can’t help the sigh, the laugh alone telling her who it was. Her eyes cut over her shoulder for a moment to see the others all milling around and giving her the required space she desired. Bella was sitting off to the side with a pissed look on her face but she’d deal with that later - once the fucking spitfire calmed the hell down and thought rationally. 

“ Captain Peter Whitlock, what fucking unpleasure do I have of this call ? ” she growls, her own sarcasm dripping from each syllable.

“ Oh put ya damn claws away Major. I got some’at big for ‘ya. ”

If there was one vampire she really wished she took a chunk out of,  _ it would be this one _ . Instead, she struck up the unlikeliest of friendships with the bastard when she was stationed in Texas. Though god knows how many times she’d pictured sinking her teeth into his sparkly ass,  _ but she had to admit _ . He’d bailed her out of some nasty shit and she owed him. Way more than she could ever repay.

“ What’s that ? ” she was rightfully dubious and yet, she did trust him. Somewhat.

“ Nah I don’ know wha’ form of hell has been comin’ your way Sugar. But whateva it is, it ain’t gone an’ is gonna come back tonight. ” 

There was something in his tone that didn’t sit right with her, her back growing more rigid with each passing second. 

“ An’ when they come back Sugar, it ain’t gonna be pretty – ”

“ Fuck. ”

The word is growled, covered in each ounce of lupine power as she shoots off the driftwood and begins to pace. Her clipped steps taking her further away from the other gathered wolves and into the realm of privacy. She knew how they all saw vampires and knew even her mate wouldn’t take too kindly to the fact she had a weird friendship with one.  _ Even she didn’t most days _ .

“ Pete, how bad is it going to get ? ”

_ Normally she’d have dealt with the situation as it hit _ , but Peter's weird-ass gift of just knowing shit meant at this moment he could give her more facts than she had. He would be the only one who could help her formulate a plan on how the fuck to move forward. That or she was just giving his  _ sparkly ass way too much credit _ .

“ I can’t tell ya tha’ Sugar, the voices ain’t got tha’ far into the explaining. All I know is yer not gonna wanna be caught wit’ ya pants down any more. If ya do, the outcome ain’t any good – ” She was wondering if vampires got migraines, and the sigh, Peter let out nearly solidified the thought in her mind. 

“ Look Major, your good, one of the fuckin’ best mutts I ever met, but ya need to think like a soldier righ’ now too. If not, ya pack is dead and so are you. ”

She just murmurs deep in her throat as her steps continue to grow in their clipped pace. She could feel it, every part of her rearing up and wanting to fight. All of it geared forward and burning bright at Peter's words. She was a soldier, something she could never forget but she was curious as to how the hell she was supposed to do that in this situation. But she wasn’t about to tell sparkles that.

“ Cheers Pete – ” 

“ Any time Sugar, you jus’ look afta ya’self and the little lady a’ight. Everythin’ else will work itself out. But rememba you’re a soldier.  _ Use ya damn head _ . And call me if ya need help. Ya know I’ll be there. ”

And weirdly she knew he would be. She had met Peter over seven years ago, and he was always there to bail her out due to the ‘ _ voices in his head _ ’. She just thought he had been dropped on his head too many times when he was human, but when things worked out as he said. She learnt to trust him, and whenever she was in Texas or home in Colorado.  _ The two had become friends _ .

She owed his ass, and despite a part of her wanting to hate the fact that she was in debt to a leech, her natural enemy. Something told her she was safe with Peter. And maybe that was why she hung out,  _ of course _ , she was not a fan of his food source and many arguments were raised about it. He would also make fun of her scent -  _ though he’d admitted she smelled better than most _ \- yet he was her friend.

_ Begrudgingly _ .

He had also taken her hand to hand combat to new levels, once he found out she could go toe to toe with a vampire and potentially survive. He’d helped her get the skills to do just that, taking her military and street fighting and turning her into  _ one dirty ass fighter _ . Something she was forever glad for. As it was because of him she survived being stabbed in the damn heart and his training on how to use a good cheap shot.

“ I need to gear up for war, don’t I ? ”

She whispers the words but knows that the sentence trails down the small speak and to the vampire on the other side. Any other time he’d have teased the shit out of her for appearing so weak but since becoming a mom he had somewhat eased back. Some part of him knew that now she was allowed to have that fear, because it wasn’t about her anymore. Of course, he still teased her about her sex life,  _ something that was very him _ .

“ Yeah ya do Sug, and it ain’t gonna be pretty. But if ya remember all ya trainin’ and remember ya’ve got shit to live for.  _ Ya might just make it _ . ”

Clicking her tongue she nods even though Peter couldn’t see it down the phone and with a hushed goodbye and a promise to call him if she needed him. She slips the phone back in her pocket. Her eyes trailing over to where her daughter was now awake and sitting in Paul’s lap.  _ That right there was her family _ , and if Peter and her gut feeling from earlier was right. She had a war coming her way, and she was going to have to fight to survive.

She had a promise to keep, she said she’d always come back to Paul. And she would, she had to live so he could. She wouldn’t be the one who stole his life because of the marks they bore. But whilst everything inside of her was churning and fighting, she knew one thing was set in stone.  _ Immovable and unchangeable _ .

Paul was her strength, her true north. And she would always come home to him.

_ Always _ .


	19. The price of war

**\- La Push, Washington -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

Her head leans against Paul’s shoulder as she listens to her uncle tell the tales of the Quileute warriors. Emmie-Jo listening with rapt attention from her spot in Paul’s lap, that level of attention from a two-year-old was surprising and yet she couldn’t give it the same credence as she’d once done when she was younger.  _ She was fidgety _ , her hands clammy with the need to move, the need to fight.  _ But it wasn’t time yet _ .

She’d sent Peter asking him when her timeline was and she had  _ five hours _ before it was time for her to move. And that was only an hour ago, meaning she had two more to waste before the two hours run back to Colorado. Or she could do it in one if she truly felt like  _ pushing herself once more _ . She’d admit her timeframe was slowly shrinking the more she did the runs, which was good if her future rested in La Push, as she’d still have to return to do her patrols.

But right now, all she wanted to do was to take off and protect her pack, her family, from whatever was coming. She knew Paul and Emmie-Jo would be safe. Paul would be safe with his pack brethren and her daughter would be safe with the two protectors she’d claimed -  _ Paul and Leah _ \- both of them unable to deny the child anything. One of the two reasons she was currently wrapped in Paul’s arms with Leah beside her fiddling with Emmie-Jo’s small fingers. 

_ But the others wouldn’t be _ .

It was still weird to her, how she often thought of the safety of others over herself, she hadn’t been that way as a kid or a teenager. Okay, she always put her little brother before herself, but everyone else she didn’t give a shit about. Sometimes it would be her mom and dad, and her cousin if she was in the mood. But she’d never truly cared and always made sure that she was the lone survivor of the group as it were. She only cared for herself.

But now, her every conscious decision was made with others in mind.  _ Her pack, her family, her teammates _ . She was constantly worried about the future and survival of others. She wasn’t sure if that was the alpha in her preparing her for the daunting task of leading, or if it was something the military graced her with. Teaching her that true strength  _ came from the pack _ , be it one filled with wolves or one filled with humans. True strength reigned supreme when you had others watching your back.

She’s ripped from her musings by heated hands, blinking away the surprise that was clouding her features; she lets her whiskey orbs land on Paul. A quick glance behind him showed that the bonfire had come to an end and that her daughter was currently in Leah’s arms as the she-wolf stood off to the side with Sonny and talked about something. No doubt discussing the legends and their sexism -  _ she had to agree there _ \- and gave her and Paul some space.

One day she’s going to have to reevaluate her parenting given in the last few weeks, her daughter has been with others more than her.

“ Earth to Skylar ! ” Paul states, a bite to his voice showing he’d been working to gain her attention for a while. “ Shit babe, where did you go ? ”

“ Sorry. Thoughts ran away from me. ” 

It was safe to assume the look on her face was a sheepish one as Paul’s face contorted straight into worry as his head inclined to the side in a lupine gesture that has her smiling weakly. His hands shifting from her shoulders to settle on her hips as he kneels between her knees. His eyes penetrating deep into her soul and begging her to unburden herself.

“ What’s going on babe. You’ve been off since you came back, hell you snapped at Bella and from what Sonny said you’ve never done that. No matter how many times she’s pushed your buttons over the years. ” 

Had she become truly transparent over the years that everyone just knew what was wrong with her. No, she hadn’t -  _ Paul just knew her well _ \- Sonny too. And it was easy for the two of them to translate the issues currently riding her skin and distracting her thoughts.

Sighing she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip in a gesture she’d borrowed from her best friend as she looks into Paul’s deep gaze. His eyes pleading with her to answer him, to carry on the truthful path the two of them were walking down. _ And she does _ .

There on a piece of driftwood, around the bonfire with her mate kneeling between her knees, she lets all of her burdens loose. She tells him of the scents, how she’d been tracking them to the bodies they’d found when she left. She tells him about Peter’s warning - _ finding a flicker of amusement in his response about the leech _ \- and to the worries now rattling alongside her heartbeat. The worry that was slamming into her ribs and stealing her breath.

It’s easy for her to see the worry that caresses his frame and causes him to grow rigid, his grip tightening on her hips for a moment as he thinks about the danger she is in. Especially after the knowledge that if she was to die, so was he. If she knew any part of him still, it was the part she knew that wanted to lock her up somewhere so she wasn’t involved.  _ Yet he knew her _ , knew her stubbornness and knew the commitments a wolf makes when they phase.

_ They were forever bound _ .

“ I’ll be okay. I’ve got a reason to survive, that’s what Peter told me. I gotta remember the reason I have to win and carry it with me. And you and Emmie-Jo are my reason.  _ You are always my reason _ . ” 

His face contorts in a way that shows her he didn’t truly believe her, and she didn’t blame him. This between them was so delicate that a twist in the wrong direction and it would all fall apart. They were still walking on thin ice and the only thing keeping them from drowning was the marks they had on their necks. The mark that showed their futures were together, and a love that burned inside.  _ But even with that love _ , there was still a lot of trepidation.

As he kneels in the sand more firmly, she slips off the driftwood and straddles his legs, her hands coming to frame his face, forcing her to look at him.

“ I will always come home to you. No war is going to fucking prevent that okay.  _ I’m a bitch _ , I’m a soldier and I will kill anyone who fucking dreams of keeping me away from you ! ” Her words are set in stone, forged on the wind. “ I promise ! ” 

She didn’t make promises often, it was who she was because she knew they could be broken too easily. Her father had made her many when she was a child and then broke every single one when he left, her uncle and mother had made promises too and callously broke them. So she never made them -  _ but when she did _ , she did everything she could to live up to it.

“ Trust me, Paul.  _ I’m going to be okay _ . This isn’t my first war, I’ve survived nearly dying before and I will do it again. I promise. ” 

Some part of her wondered if she was trying to convince him or if she was trying to convince herself as in that moment,  _ both were viable options _ . Either way, she sighs in relief as she sees some of his usual fire return to his eyes, his large arms wrapping around her frame and holding her close as she buries her face into the curve of his neck.

They spend the next two hours laughing and joking with the others as she finally makes the conscious decision to get to know Paul’s pack, to know the people she hadn’t seen in over a decade and had always been separated due to age. Not once does she speak to Jacob nor Bella and she makes sure that the two of them are aware she's pissed. Not so much at Bella but she needed the brunette to think with a clear head.  _ And her cousin _ , well picturing ripping him to shreds had slowly become her secondary form of distraction.

Soon though her internal clock chimes telling her it was time to go. So with a resigned sigh, she hugs Emmie-Jo close before handing her off to Paul. Her mate promised to patrol around the house that night with Sonny to make sure she was safe. And from the rich cadence of his voice -  _ she trusted him _ .

After her goodbyes and before she can break through the barrier of the trees she feels a grip to her wrist, following the tanned arm her eyes land on Sam’s stern face, his appearance causing an eyebrow to hitch slightly in question.

“ Thank you for earlier. For, not saying anything to Bella. ” 

She hums deep in the back of her throat. “ Look, I ain’t happy that you destroyed another imprint. This time your own. But knowing the shit that girl has been through, I also know it isn’t going to be an easy road for you and I do have a small shred of sympathy for you in that regard. But no matter my feelings,  _ it wasn’t my place _ . That is your bond, and some part of me is still Quileute thus binding me to the pack laws. ” 

She wasn’t about to admit the whole alpha thing.  _ She guessed that didn’t sit well with him _ .

“ Just take it easy with her okay. Cullen did a fucking number on her. Emotionally and mentally. ” 

He nods softly and releases his hold of her wrist as he brings a hand up to rub down his face. He was tired, she could see the emotions being screamed from every one of his pores. It was a strange sight to see on someone who she still hated, and yet could sympathise with. But her and Sam’s history was something to think about another day.  _ Not right now _ .

“ Be safe Sky ! ” 

Surprise blooms over her features at Sam’s words but she nods in gratitude. “ I will. Just, look after them for me. ” 

His eyes regard her for a moment before he nods, the moment passing between them as a vow between brethren. That and she had a feeling Sam knew, if anything happened to Emmie-Jo or Paul,  _ she’d raise fucking hell _ and kill everyone in her way. And that included the alpha before her.

Sighing quietly through her nose, she turns and disappears into the foliage, her face changing with each passing second. Gone was the easy-going girl that had been around the bonfire, now in its place stood a cold-hearted killer, a warrior trained for death.

_ She was ready for war _ .

\-- ʚɞ --

A growl rips its way out of her snout, drool dripping from her canines as lips peel back exposing every curve and edge of her dangerous teeth. The fur on her back matted with the blood that was still slowly seeping out of the wound she carried there. Her shoulder also looked off due to the dislocation a few hours ago -  _ she’d have to rebreak it _ \- and yet she was still standing. Albeit she was standing and in a shit load of pain, but it took more than what these shitheads had handed out to take her off her feet.

The deep gouge on her back she could just tell was going to end up scarring, the deepness of it due to a cheap shot from the  _ panther shifter _ in front of her. It’s feline eyes watching every move she made. It was almost ironic that the scents she had been hunting were from the fucking cats, it gave a whole new meaning to the saying ‘ _ fight like cats and dogs _ ’.

And she finally understood the war she was waging. Given it wasn’t just the panthers that were here, but also another wolf pack from down south that was trying to encroach on their territory. It was one of the oldest wars in shifter lore,  _ the war for territory _ . And if they could knock off half the pack and hopefully the alpha, then the territory was theirs. It was almost like the vampire wars Peter had told her about, the only difference was in this case, there were bodies to be found afterwards.  _ And families left with nothing but pain and loss _ .

She had heard it was done some time in the pack’s history, her great grandfather being the alpha who led the last successful protection. But given the fucking run around they’d had so far, as well as Peter’s warning. She really couldn’t say if she thought this one would be successful or not.

_ She fucking hoped it was _ .

Her eyes slant briefly to the side as she sees Ryker’s form slink from the shadows to stand beside her. Markus coming up on her left and doing the same. The panthers had been after her for a while, she guessed they’d figured she was the one hunting their scents. Or they were clued in that she was the alpha in waiting. But right now she wanted the fucking kitty in front of her for even daring to claw the shit out of her. She was in pain and she was tired, not the best outcome for most, but the best one to defeat the kitty.

“  _ Easy boss, this bitch is sneaky _ . ”

Her eyes roll briefly as she cuts an iridescent lupine gaze to Markus before levelling it back on the bitch in front of her. She would never be able to look at a house cat the same again, not unless it was a male one. Given she’d learnt in just the last few hours alone that feline shifters were primarily female.

“  _ She might be. But she ain’t me _ ! ”

Wiping her mind completely, letting all of her thoughts completely drift away. She can hear her father’s parting thought of encouragement, his pride filtering down the link and wrapping around her like a steel blanket. She wasn’t afraid to admit that whenever her father told her that he was proud,  _ she wished she could burst _ . She was a daddy’s girl and it would always be that way.

But right now,  _ she was out for blood _ .

Lowering down on her front legs, her head lowered with her snout to the ground as she stared straight forward. Her pack was like white noise in her head, her complete and utter focus being on the shifter in front of her. ‘ _ Remember you’re a soldier too _ ’. Peter's words ring out inside of her head like gospel. The words she was clinging to as she prepared her attack. She was the best tracker of the pack, but she was also a sneaky fighter. She never portrayed her moves, and it was rare someone could get a cheap shot on her. So the fact that ‘kitty’ had, meant she had some payback to deal out.

She sees it, a fraction of a second where the panther contorts before shifting into a leap, her huge frame meeting them halfway as her teeth sink into the flesh of the cat's shoulder. Crashing to the floor she throws the panther off to the side before starting a slow predatory walk. Her eyes not once leaving her intended target as she sees the panther struggle to rise, its black fur matting with blood as it works to fight through the wound she’d just given it.

A breath releases out the side of her mouth as she sees it move slower than it previously had. Her teeth having sliced deep and she fucking knew it for it was what she was aiming for. Behind her she could sense her packmates prowling, their eyes flickering from her to the surrounding area. Making sure no one got too close but leaving her space to deal with her kill.

She’s quick, her frame a blur despite her size as the panther lunges once more, her haunches only just escaping the sharp claws aiming towards it. Her teeth snapping on nothing but air as she turned, a red haze clouded her vision as she waited for the opportune moment. One that the panther walked straight into.

Shifting low once more, she waits, letting the kitty think she was winning as the two lunged, clawed and bit with nothing but air as the reward. Yet, just as a howl breaks out across the air, the white and black wolf executes a well-placed lunge, her teeth sinking deep into the panther’s neck and with a sharp tug, she hears the unmistakable sound of breaking bone. The panther in her lap grows limp as she drops it. Her eyes barely noticed as the animal form melted away to reveal the human that lived inside.

_ It was rather her than me _ , she thinks idly. This was war.

Her large form collapses as the weight of everything crashes into her. Her paws folded underneath her in a way that was clearly not plausible for such a huge animal. A nudge to her side has her eyes flicking over as she sees Markus standing beside her, Ryker flanking her too as the two wolves push their fallen sister back to their feet. Her form leaning against them as she once more fights through the pain making her head swim and to get back in the game.

_ They’d won a battle but the war was still raging _ .

She zones back into the pack mind, watching and observing as they all chatter, as her fellow brethren took off in different directions chasing both wolves and panthers. Through about thirty different sets of eyes, she watched the night bleed away into the early morning, each pair of eyes colouring the sky with different shades but together painted a glorious picture. But it wasn’t the images she was cataloguing, it was the pack. She wanted to know who was still in the fight.

That was when it happened, darkness seeping in as a voice went quiet. Grief ripping its way through every member of the pack as they registered just what that meant. One of them was dead. Skylar’s feet slip against the mud as she comes to a slow stop, her mind whirling as she works through everyone she was connected to, naming them, and as she registers the one she couldn’t hear anymore, there was nothing she had ever felt that could top that.

A howl filled with sorrow, anger and pain rips its way free of her lips as she takes off, pushing her body in a burst of speed as she heads in the direction she had last seen the one that was now missing.  _ She prayed _ , with every fucking molecule inside of her, that they’d just shifted back. And that was why they were silent, prayed that the pain had gotten too much and it forced the shift back to human skin. Prayed that they were okay,  _ they fucking had to be okay _ .

Every nerve in her body was protesting the fast movements she was partaking in, her injured back and shoulder shooting pain across her body and making her head swim. Yet she never stopped running, she couldn’t stop running. A part of her knew if she stopped, then it would just be worse. Everything would be worse. Yet it would never top what greeted her as she broke through the treeline, her paws skidding along the wet grass as she shifted back. Her human form collapsing to the green ground with a crash due to the crushing weight of the pain she was ignoring.

“  **_DADDY_ ** ! ”

She’d admit much later that she really did sound like a child that had gotten lost and simply wanted the one person who could chase the monsters away.  _ She was a little girl who wanted her daddy _ . But instead, she was a little girl who watched the light fade from his eyes. 

She wasn’t a daughter or second in command no more,  _ she was one pissed off alpha _ .


	20. My true north.

**\- Colorado Springs, Colorado -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

She had once heard that the hardest day of loving someone,  _ was the day you lost them _ . She thought she’d lived that hard day, that it had already come and gone in her life. That day being the day she walked out on Paul to never return. But that was a bee sting in comparison to the pain she felt in that moment, the pain that came with losing her father. She wasn’t even sure if she would ever recover.

The next week after her father's death bled into a blur of actions and fits of screaming and she wasn’t even sure she could remember it all. She just moved through it all like a robot, Paul a steady presence at her side as she sorted out her father’s funeral, underwent the ceremony to officially name her as alpha as well as sort out someone to take over as Chief until she was ready to step into those shoes.

She didn’t know what good deed she’d done in a previous life to end up with someone like her mate. Paul, who was willing to deal with her brother's anger, her daughters screaming, her fits of grief and melancholy with nothing more than soothing words and gentle hands. Not once did she hear him complain nor did she see it in his eyes, yet she couldn’t help herself wondering if this was something he wanted.

Did he want to be back in La Push, where it was drama-free? Where the air wasn’t thick with grief to the point it caught in your throat and left you gasping for breath. Or was he only here because his life hung in the balance too, if she died so did he. So was that why he was there, to make sure she stayed alive?

Yet as much as she was curious about that, she couldn’t bring herself to voice the words. To call it into question when it was his hands that was the only thing that were keeping her standing, when it was his strength that was stopping her from falling apart. His love that was stopping her from drowning in the grief that threatened to swallow her whole.

Sighing through her nose she removes her head from Paul’s neck as she listens to one of the tribal elders speak the funeral rights, her hands squeezing her brothers softly as she looks over to see tears silently falling down his face. Leiah sitting on her brother’s left and beside Leiah sat the one person she didn’t expect to come,  _ her mother _ .

Turning her head slightly, she nods as her uncle smiles at her softly, her eyes moving over Jacob without acknowledgement as she sees Bella and Mina sitting beside him. Sam and Leah had also made the journey and it’s in that moment she remembers her father had touched many lives she had completely forgotten about. All of them feeling the guilt that was rattling around inside of her.

Even Paul had known her father at one point, not to the full extent as others but he had known him enough. Turning more she continues to observe those who were gathered, seeing the guilt collecting on their faces like a tale of misery. And yet she cares for none of it, she doesn’t care how much they hurt, because nothing would top the pain her and her brother were feeling. They had lost a parent, someone who guided them and now, she would never hear her father wish her luck. He would never watch the young girl Emmie-Jo would grow up to be.

So no, she didn’t care for others' grief.  _ Not when she was drowning in her own _ .

Sighing softly she faces forward once more and watches the funeral play out, her actions robotic as she moves through what was needed of her. The whole time fighting with herself to keep her mask in place, to not let anyone see the way she was falling apart. She could do it in private, but here,  _ she was alpha _ . Everyone was looking at her for the strength and she had to provide it. _ Even if it was fake _ .

She remains standing at her father's graveside long after the service is over and everyone has left to gather inside her father's house. She didn’t have the strength to follow, to listen as everyone told the tales they knew of her dad, to highlight the moments that made Deacon Ragnulf so special. Because despite all the memories that were churning around in her mind, all she could picture was that moment in the clearing, where she held his dead body close to her heart. Praying that she could give her life in exchange for his.

Feeling heat at her side she turns to see Paul standing beside her, a usual occurrence in the last week and once more she's struck with how much she was using him. Using his strength to simply keep the fake smile on her face. She’d taken more from him in that last week than she’d taken from him in their whole relationship.

“ I’m sorry. ” 

Her words are whispered yet she knew he would hear her, his arms wrapping around her the only acknowledgement she needs as she leans against his shoulder, her eyes once more returning to the stone that now bore her father's name, sealing the knowledge that he was truly gone.

“ What are you sorry for ? ” Paul asks just as soft, as though speaking louder would be an insult.

“ I’m sorry I’m such a fucking mess. I’m sorry I've become a burden. ” 

“ Baby. ” he sighs softly “ You are not a burden nor are you a mess. You lost your father, baby. No one expects you to be the happy go lucky girl you were two weeks ago. You’re allowed to wallow in your grief. ” 

“ No,  _ I'm not _ . ” she spits

But the words were not aimed at Paul, it was in remembrance to the tribal elders telling her she had to step up as alpha now that her father was dead. That she had to deal with the threat that was still out there,  _ no matter the fact she had to bury her father _ . They expected the world from her and she wasn’t sure if she could deliver it, nor have the strength to do it.

“ They’re fucking idiots baby. You’re allowed to feel it because it’s going to be the one thing that makes you stronger.  _ And I will be right here with you _ . ” 

She wanted to cry at the conviction in his words, instead, she leaned against him as she soaks in his scent. 

“ I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this. ” she sighs. “ The pack, they’re looking at me to guide them. To help them through this but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to get through this and guide them at the same time. ” 

His hands on her shoulders turn him to face her, Paul’s hand coming up to cup her cheek as she stares into his obsidian eyes. She could see nothing but comfort staring back at her, yet that small voice in the back of her head continues to whisper that he would rather be somewhere else.  _ That he didn’t want her _ , not when she was like this.

“ Skylar, you are the strongest person I know. You have fought wars, you have fought death and you’ve come out of it far stronger than I could ever be. You have the strength baby, I know right now it doesn’t feel like it but you are strong enough to do this. Your dad believed in you, I believe in you and so does your pack. ” 

He clicks his tongue once before leaning forward and pressing his lips against her forehead, her hands gripping tightly to the shirt that clung to his every muscle. The heat of his skin burning her fingertips and yet it grounds her, the effect of it reminding her that she was alive. She had survived. That knowledge is enough to break the barrier on her tears, the burning of them once more seeping into her skin as she falls against his chest.

It was almost amusing, she was once someone who didn’t cry. She never let anyone see her week and yet in this past week, the dominant person she was, was non-existent and she showed her weakness to anyone close enough to look. She didn’t hide behind the walls she had constructed around her heart. Instead, she just let it all crumble into dust.

She knew Layla would say that it was a sign she was prepared to let others in, that she was allowing others to help her shoulder the burden on her shoulders. But as far as she was concerned, she was just done with hiding everything she hid inside. She was done pretending to be strong when she was falling apart. Her father was the one person she could truly be weak with. And without him,  _ she had no one _ .

“ Baby I can feel the grief that is threatening to swallow you whole. And as much as I wish I could take you back to La Push and protect you from everything.  _ I can’t _ . The fuckers who took your father from you, as bad as it is.  _ They’re still out there _ . And we need to find them and make sure they don’t take anyone else. ” 

His words are like a bucket of ice water - not just at the reminder that her father’s killers are out there. But that he could feel her emotions, a side-effect of the mating bond that meant he would always know what she was feeling. She didn’t think they had it, nor had she truly taken the time to wonder if she could feel him. But the nonchalant way in which he spoke it.

She wasn’t sure how to take it. But she could understand how he felt, after all, she was feeling the pack right now. She felt every wolf that called her alpha so it was sort of nice for someone else to feel that, to feel the crushing weight of grief. Even if she wanted to ignore that knowledge for a little longer.

“  **_We_ ** ? ” 

She can see him refrain from chuckling as she zones in on one major point in his whole sentence. She knew what he meant, yet it was as though she needed the confirmation. That he wasn’t leaving her, that he was going to help her guide the dangerous and fucked up path that lay before her. Not just as a wolf but as an alpha. Everything in her life had changed and yet standing there, at her father's graveside with Paul proved one thing. He was still her true north. Her light, her saviour.  _ Her forever _ .

“ Yeah baby,  _ me and you _ . I let you fight this alone, and look at what happened. They took your father and left you with two more scars to your collection. Now,  _ we do this together _ . To get to you, they gotta go through me and your pack. ” 

“ Paul… no. I can’t let you fight this war. ” 

Bringing a hand up to her face she feels the tears still falling down her face and sniffles to clear her clogged nose as she looks up at him. Once more ensnared by his obsidian gaze that now showed the true depth of his stubbornness as well as the love that hadn’t stopped shining there, not during their conversation or the past week.

“ Good thing I don’t take orders from you then isn’t it. ” 

She growls softly before pushing him away, she wasn’t angry at him per se. More she wasn’t in a joking move, and the small lift to his lips showed he was trying to make her smile. And well she just wasn’t in the mood

And yet that simple action brings her anger swarming back, anger at those that had stolen her father from her, anger at herself for not being there to save her father. And anger at Peter for not telling her that the price of this war was that she would lose her dad. She was determined that the next time she laid eyes on the sparkly fucker she would sink her teeth into his ass or sure. So if he knew any better, he’d avoid Colorado and Washington in her lifetime.

“ Baby listen to me. ” Paul sighs softly as his hands come to rest on her shoulders once more. “ We have already survived the worst thing that could happen to us. And here we are, standing together in the face of this. And your side is the only place I want to be. Sam doesn’t command me in this,  _ because you are my mate _ . You are my home and right now, you’re hurting. ” 

He clicks his tongue once before continuing. “ I walked away from you once before when you were hurting and I sure as shit aren’t doing it again. I will never walk away from you again. So get used to it baby, because I will fight with you. I will fight for you. Until there is no more life left in me. ” 

She lets her eyes drink in his face, looking for any indicator that he was lying. Yet she didn’t find everything, each line of his face was drawn in silent determination. He meant his words and a small gasp fell off her lips as she felt his stubbornness break through the feelings of her pack, his love and conviction swarming her like a warm blanket and it was enough to silence the small voice in the back of her head.

He was here because he wanted to be, not because he had to be.

“ So how do we do this ? ” She asks tilting her head and the tears finally drying on her face.

“ We do what we’re known for ? ” He smirks as her eyebrows contort into a frown of confusion. “ You’ve been fighting like a soldier, like a wolf but you forget your greatest weapon.  _ Your emotions _ ! ” 

Okay, she was starting to think he’d lost his mind. Because she was almost positive she had been using her emotions and that was what got her into this mess. This was what made her be distracted by the panther when the other one killed her father. 

_ It must show on her face as he sighs softly stepping closer to her _ .

“ Look don’t rip my head off. ” Paul sighs softly as his hands come to rest on her shoulders once more. “ When we were younger we used our anger to fuel everything we felt. We used it as an excuse to cause harm to others. We relished in making others feel a taste of the anger that burned within us, it was the one thing that brought us together. ” 

He clicks his tongue once before continuing. “ Now, I'm suggesting that you use all this. Use your grief, use your anger, use your pain, use the feelings of your pack and myself to win this war and make them pay for taking your father from you. You feel it all and make it your biggest weapon. And when you can’t stand anymore from the crippling weight of it,  _ I'll be there to catch you _ . ” 

It seemed almost easy to trick herself that it could work. But yet Paul’s words bring forward the memories of her teenage years, of where her fists were controlled by the anger that burned within her. Of how she and Paul would instigate arguments between themselves as a way to burn away some of the fire in their souls. It also brought forth a memory of how her father had once told her that her emotions were her strongest weapons - the conversation and almost mirror of what Paul had just said to her.

So was it real, could she afford to give in to everything she was feeling and allow it to fuel her? To let her win the war and make those bleed who had taken her father from her, from Sonny, from the pack. The answer was she wasn’t sure, but she was willing to give it a try.

“ You ready to head back. ” Paul asks softly.

She shakes her head and promises to catch up, she needed a moment before she allowed her pack and brother to swarm her. She had to slip her mask back into place before she could deal with all the bodies surrounding her. Paul nods and places another kiss to her forehead before moving through the graveyard and towards the truck he’d parked as they attended the funeral.

It amused her a little,  _ how at ease he was in Colorado _ . And yet he was an outsider, but he blended with the pack as though he was always a member. She knew it was just the pack accepting him as the Alpha’s mate but she also knew he was forming friendships along the way. So she was glad something good had come out of this tragedy.  _ That Paul wasn’t suffering from all her actions _ .

Shaking her head she kneels in front of her father's headstone, her hand resting against the cold stone. The new alpha band on her wrist standing out against the grey stone and where before she hated seeing it on her skin. Now she knew it was always her destiny, she was always bound to wear it and maybe, just maybe she would survive long enough to see her daughter wear it with far more pride than any before them.

“ I miss you, daddy. ” She cries softly. “ I don’t know if I'm strong enough to survive this without you. But I’m going to be okay, I promise you I will be okay. All you ever wanted was for me to be happy and… I think I’ll get there again one day. I don’t know how but I will. ” 

Each word spoken feels as strong as a metal chord as she makes her first vow as an alpha to her father’s ghost.

“ No, I do know how I'll survive.  _ I’ve got Paul _ ,” she whispers. “ And I know you never truly forgave him for what he did,  _ but I need him, daddy _ . He’s my true north, he’s my home. And by his side, I think I might just be able to live up to your legacy. ” 

Her head tilts towards the sky and she smiles as she feels the scent of her dad wash over her. Her tribe believed the dead always walked with you and at this moment she was truly willing to believe it, to believe that her dad was standing behind her listening to every word she whispered.

“ Oh, Sonny changed packs. He did it accidentally in anger. So I swear to you, I'll look after him and together we will get through this. I promise you that I’ll guide him the same way you guided me, that I will never let him fall, that I will never let him suffer. Just as you never let me. ” 

“ Save me a beer daddy, _ I’ll see you when it’s my time _ . ” 

Leaning forward she presses her lips to the cold stone before standing and with one last glance at her father's name, she walks out the graveyard and towards the truck and Paul. She was positive he heard her words but as she climbs in he doesn’t say anything, just reaches over and grasps her hand softly before starting the car to head back towards her dad’s ranch where everyone was gathered.


	21. Using every piece available.

**\- Colorado Springs, Colorado -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

Skylar can remember the day her father told her that the greatest weight he carried was the weight of being _the Alpha_. At the time she didn’t understand him, she was barely dealing with the weight of being a wolf, of having an animal inside of her who’s instincts were so primal and wild. But now, now she understood just what he meant. And she wasn’ even sure if she could handle the weight, or if her shoulders were strong enough to carry it.

In the span of a month, she’d gone from being a mother and soldier, _to being a mate_ , to being the alpha with a whole pack looking at her for guidance. The changing titles left her head spinning and left Skylar without a moment to even gasp for air. All of it making her head spin as she stumbled along the path her life had taken. A path straight into fucking crazy.

If Skylar was completely honest with herself all of it felt natural - _as though she was born for it_ \- which she was. She was born to be alpha, it was in her blood. She was an alpha on two sides of her bloodline and the power to control it all rested firmly in her hands. The only downside was she was absolutely scared of the new power she carried. 

She also knew she was born to love Paul and be his mate, that wasn’t the gods or spirits deciding who her forever love was. _It was her choice_ , and she’d made it long before the supernatural even entered her life. She had chosen to let him into her heart when they were teenagers, and she’d carried him deep within it even as she spun a lie saying she didn’t need him. He was her other half, her reason for living.

 _All of this was her birthright_.

Yet it didn’t stop the fear, it circled around her veins like a disease. Polluting her every thought and feeling and threatening to flay her alive. She knew what she was scared of, that she wasn’t enough, that all of this was some big cosmic joke and it would turn out that she was the wrong choice. Both for Paul and for the pack. That the only thing she would be good at was killing people. 

“ Skylar – ” the gentle voice breaks her from her musings and she looks over to see her mother lingering in the doorway.

Emmie Black looked a far cry from the strong woman Skylar remembered her to be. She looked tired and withdrawn and it’s with that sight that Skylar’s remembered that her mother lost a man she loved. Skylar lost a father, yes, but Emmie Black lost the man who fathered her children. It was strange to see the damage, see the remnants of love shining in her mother's eyes. Especially when Leiah was in another room and carrying the title of widow.

Though in some ways, _Skylar’s mother was a widow too_.

Their bond was frayed, loose strings hanging in the breeze and waiting for the final tug that would either piece them together or tear them apart. That alone was another stark reminder of what her life had become, standing on a battlefield across from her mother. A mother who never believed in her, had just grouped her in as a bad kid and then helped to lie to her.

Yet, Skylar had forgiven her long ago. Many nights sat feeding Emmie-Jo in the early hours making her realise that if she’d been in her mother’s shoes. She’d have made the same choices, she’d have walked the same path. It was a defence mechanism that kept her mother at arm’s length, that forced her to lie that she hadn’t forgiven the woman. When a part of her, wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees and beg her mother's forgiveness. _Beg for her guidance_.

After all, she did name her daughter after her mother, that alone was proof that the elder woman still had a place in Skylar’s heart.

“ Hey, momma – ” a tired smile lifts the edges of her lips as she brings a hand up to run through her ebony hair. “ Are you doing okay ? ” 

Skylar was positive that it was daughterly concern that made her ask the question, but something dark whispered in her mind that it was a lie. She was asking for one reason, _one reason only_ . Growling low in her throat at a level her mother can’t hear, she lets her eyes drag back to the kitchen window. Outside the world was swallowed in darkness, yet with her supernatural eyesight, it appeared to be dusk. Allowing her to see the movement of bats as they flew over the area, the way the stars twinkled as though taunting her that the world was still spinning. Whilst hers had momentarily frozen in grief, _outside it was still spinning_.

“ It should be me asking you that question. ” Her mother states coming to settle in the chair opposite her and drawing Skylar’s attention once more, her mother's aged eyes filled with worry but also love. “ So, how are you ? ” 

A heated sigh flutters past her mismatched lips as she shrugs. “ I keep telling myself I’m okay. That I’m dealing, but I’m not. I just – ” 

Her words stutter in her mouth as her head falls, her eyes drifting over each crack in the oak table as she searches for the words. As though the wood beneath her held the secrets of how she could keep herself together. Shaking her head dejectedly she raises up once more to level her gaze on her mother.

“ I don’t know what I’m supposed to do ? ” 

The way the words settle between them reminds Skylar of the times when she’d been a teenager, before her anger issues, and she’d come crying to her mom for advice. Begging the elder woman for advice because she didn’t know what to do. It was so reminiscent of that moment that she allows melancholy to settle within her for a moment. To silence the grief that even now was still swirling through her veins like gasoline.

“ There is no exact way to move forward, little one. ” Emmie sighs “ You lost your father, and whilst normal people get time to grieve, to deal with the weight of everything. You were shouldered with his title, everyone looks to you for decisions and expects you to simply bury everything you’re dealing with. ” 

_Wow, she forgot her mother was observant_.

“ But the thing none of those old fuckers realise, underneath everything that makes you supernatural. _You are still human_. It’s okay if you don’t have all your answers, little one. It’s not on you to have them all. ” 

Emmie Black had a certain talent people didn’t realise, her voice was as soothing as her brothers. Whilst Billy used his voice to weave the tales of the ancestors and draw people into the magic of the supernatural. Emmie used her voice to lull people into understanding. She took a difficult situation and helped someone see the light.

Moving Skylar switches seats and settles beside her mom, her arm slithering around the elder woman's waist as she buries her head into the curve of her mother's shoulder. With a shuddering breath, she lets the tears fall, the heat of them burning a path down her cheek as she draws comfort from her mother's scent. A scent she didn’t know she needed till now.

“ I’m sorry momma – ” she cries. “ I’m sorry I blamed you for Uncle Billy’s mistake. ” 

Her mom’s fingers run through her hair as she makes soft soothing noises. “ I don’t blame you for that little one. I deserved it, I chose to follow my brother in his hair-brained decision and I lost you as a result. But the one thing that has never changed, and that is I am loyal to you and your brother. _I always will be_. ” 

The words are divided in their reassurance - the part of her that was a daughter clings to it and allows the knowledge that her mother still loved her to cocoon her in comfort. But the alpha part - clings to it and begins its degrading task of examining how it could use that for its own needs.

Every decision and choice was now weighted with the disgusting taste of alpha power and duty. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that she looked at everyone gathered around her and wondered how she could use them. Use their weaknesses to make the whole strong. Use her mother’s loyalty, Paul's anger, Sonny's sunshine outlook, Cole’s childish simplicity. _Use it all and make sure her pack survived_.

It was disgusting. And further proof of what her father once said, that the weight of the alpha was crushing. It was all about duty and using and doing anything to make sure that duty was fulfilled.

“ I hate this – ” Skylar mutters deep into the curve of her mother's neck.

“ Hate what ? ” her mother asks, never ceasing her actions.

“ I listen to your words. And a part of me, the alpha part is wanting to use that unwavering loyalty. To turn it into a solution to deal with what is happening. _It keeps tainting everything_. Even now, my love for Paul is overshadowed by this, alpha part, wanting to use his rage to help me fight. ” 

It was weird, how about a month ago she hadn’t spoken to her mother in ten years. Now here she was divulging everything, every worry, every secret. But that was the true weight of a mother's love. No matter the choices, a mother would always love their child and stand by them.

And yes she was still angry, but Skylar was willing to let it go. After all her mother was the only parent she had left. The last remaining elder who could truly guide her, help her raise Emmie-Jo in the supernatural world and prepare her for what was coming.

“ Then use it. ” Her mother answers, making her shoot up and look at the elder woman in confusion.

“ Skylar it’s not as complicated as you’re thinking it is – ” Her mother soothes. “ You're looking at it as though the alpha side of you is a crime. But it’s not, it’s a part of who you are. To you, it’s tainting everything, but in reality, it’s trying to guide you. ” 

Okay, point to Emmie Black for being confusing as hell.

“ Your pack is looking for guidance Skylar. You see yourself as using them to better the pack, using everything they are in a bad way. But you’re not, you’re using them to better the weaknesses of others. ” She states “ You aren’t using them. Skylar, _you’re bettering them_. ” 

The one thing Skylar had forgotten till that moment was that her mother was a tribal member, she knew all the secrets of the La Push pack. And maybe she didn’t know about her husband's connections to the shapeshifting world. But she was someone who could guide them, using the knowledge she’d been birthed on.

After all Emmie Black was the daughter of an alpha, _just like Skylar_. And whilst she had never phased she had been raised around the understanding of what a wolf faced. In other words, she was the greatest resource Skylar had and she’d been ignoring her and leaving her in the background. Okay, her anger at the time had made sense, but she could have restored that bridge a long time ago. Skylar tended to hold grudges for far longer than she should and her mother was living proof of that.

Sighing softly she leans against her mother's shoulder as she listens to sounds surrounding her. From Bella and Cole’s heartbeats, to the two heartbeats that mattered. Paul and Emmie-Jo. Skylar could picture them now, cuddled up in Skylar’s bed as the two of them got lost within their dreams. She had been there too till her worries had forced her awake, and even now she knew that memory would be one she’d cherish.

Her child and her mate, _her future_.

Their heartbeats pulse in her ear as she lets her mother's words - _and Paul’s_ \- churn around inside of her mind. It reminded her of the military, every soldier brought a piece of the puzzle and together they came up with the solution. It was something she’d forgotten in this instance. She wasn’t the whole solution, she was just a piece of it. The one who glued it all together and guided all the other pieces.

Her mother was right, _so was Paul_ , she wasn’t using her pack in the way she thought. That and she was avoiding a part of herself in the process. She could admit, sitting in the comfort of her mother's touch with Emmie-Jo and Paul’s heartbeats ringing in her ear - she could admit that she was scared to be alpha.

The power that came with the position being something that truly frightened her. Also, a small part was linked to her attack ten years ago. Sam had been an alpha and he lost control, hurting her in the process. A small part of her wondered if that was what would happen to her. Skylar could barely control her temper and it was a well-known truth. Would she end up hurting someone too? Would she cause someone the same pain she had felt?

It was enough to make her sick, and if she had anything in her stomach minus coffee, Skylar was sure she would be. Instead, her stomach simply rolls with disgust as her mind continues to shuffle through memories and thoughts like a deck of cards. Trading and discarding as she goes.

“ Get some sleep momma. ” she offers gently looking up towards the elder woman. “ Tomorrow is going to be another long day. ” 

She could see her mother wanting to dispute, but surprisingly she doesn’t. Instead, she leans down and places a small kiss to the crown of Skylar’s head before raising with a fluidity that could rival a shapeshifter and heads back towards the room she’d been given. The soft click of her door ringing out in the silence left behind by her absence as Skylar once more turns to look out the large kitchen window.

She loses track of time as she sits there and soon the darkness gives way to the soft pinks and oranges of the morning, the bats being replaced by birds as morning starts to roll in and her lips twitch upwards as she finally settles on a plan of attack. Around her, the sounds of waking bodies rouse her attention away from the window and back into the harsh plains of reality.

Standing Skylar hisses as the stiffness of her body reminds her of how long she’d been sat resembling a statue and with a large stretch she listens as her body creaks and cracks back into place. Her new power rolling over her skin like a subtle reminder that she had a duty, _a vow to undertake_.

The soft footsteps behind her have her head-turning, whiskey eyes falling on Cole and Bella as the two stop in the doorway as though gouging if it was safe. Nodding towards her packmate he gently nudges the brunette forward and soon the awkwardness bleeds away as an age-old routine begins to unfold. The three of them set out to serve breakfast like they’d done a million times before. All three of them move around each other without words and yet their actions remain in sync with one another.

“ I need you to head home with my mom today Bells. ” Skylar quips around a mug of coffee, her eyes levelling on the brunette.

“ Can I ask why ?. ” 

She had to chuckle at the subtleties wrapped in that one sentence, her friend both wanting to know as well as disguising her hurt over the fact Skylar was sending her home. Bella had gotten better at covering her emotions and yet Skylar could still read them in the younger females eyes like a book. 

“ Because you’re the only person I trust to look after Emmie-Jo. ” she shrugs. “ I don’t want her anywhere near here when I set out to get revenge for what happened. _She’s my weakness_ , and it won’t be long before the other shifters figure that out. With you and my mom, she’s safe and protected. ” 

Before Bella can answer, Paul walks in carrying the toddler in question and she smiles as she lowers her mugs and holds out her arms for the bundle of energy. Her lips pressing against the crown of her daughter’s head as she drags in heady mouthfuls of her scent. A part of her crooning in pleasure as she catches the traces of Paul’s scent mixing in with her daughters.

Looking up at her mate she could see his eyes swimming in questions prompting her to lean up and silence the birthing of them with her lips. His rich chuckle ghosting over her face in a puff of air before he moves and grabs his own mug of coffee.

“ So will you go ?. ” Skylar asks Bella as she sets out settling Emmie-Jo at the table. Once more returning the conversation to what it previously had been.

“ Skylar – ” Bella starts before she’s interrupted by Skylar raising a hand.

“ Bella, as an alpha I have to respect one thing, _and that is that you are Sam’s imprint_. Meaning right now, it is well within my duty to send you back to him before I end up in a war with the La Push pack. As your friend though, I am asking that you please look after my daughter with my mother, whilst I go out there and deal with those who stole my father from me. _From the pack_. ” 

It wasn’t hard to note the way her voice had changed, gone was the friendly warmth and in its place was a hardness Skylar had only ever heard from her father. The alpha tone. She couldn’t compel Bella, for she wasn’t officially part of Skylar’s pack, but she hoped that as her friend she would do this one thing for her. The biggest thing Skylar had ever asked if she was honest with herself.

Bella nods, no longer trusting her voice and Skylar sighs. The use of the alpha tone was one she knew would put a strain on her friendship but she couldn’t help it. Nothing was the same anymore and those surrounding her would just have to come to terms with it.

Cole remains silent as he places down Emmie-Jo’s breakfast but she can see in her stepbrother's eyes, he was raring for the fight she was planning. His wolf barely contained beneath the surface and no doubt howled within his veins for the fight it could taste on the wind. Skylar could tell this, as her own was doing the same. Its heat was coiling around her bones, strengthening her, compelling her to shuck the facade of human skin and hunt like an animal.

“ So it’s war ? ” Paul asks as he comes to stand behind her, his large arms wrapping around her as he rests his chin on her shoulder.

“ It’s war, ” she confirms turning to look at him. Her lips barely a hair’s width away from his own. “ But I intend to win this one. And then get started on our future. ” 

She can feel more than see the upturn of his lips as his signature smirk settles along them. “ Now that, _trouble_ , sounds like one hell of a plan. ”


	22. Nothing is easy.

**\- Colorado Springs, Colorado -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

If there was one thing Skylar was learning, was that since becoming alpha, there was a huge ass list of things she needed to do. It almost seemed like the moment she finished one task, one would creep out of the woodwork to bite her in the ass. Between guiding the members of her pack on what to do, arguing with the council in La Push and helping Leiah deal with the aftermath of her dad’s death. Skylar quite honestly felt like she was at her wit’s end.

She was also learning her father was a hidden packrat. Something she hadn’t known ten years ago when she moved in with him, nor the few times she visited. Yet now, as she helped Leiah organise his estate, Skylar was learning there wasn’t anything her father didn’t keep. If he deemed it important, or a memory of some kind, it could be found in a box in his attic.

It was why in a way she was thankful for her pack, and the routine her father had gotten them into that even now with her in charge didn’t seem to dissipate. It was a routine that Sonny had filtered into with ease and even Paul was finding a way to help them hunt down the other shifters. The Quileute shifter having realised his connection as alpha’s mate meant he too had access to the pack mind. But even with all the wolves out looking for them, he assholes in question making themselves scarce after no doubt realising they’d screwed up. Which left Skylar to sort through her father’s mess. 

_ What a joy _ .

Even now Skylar was currently sitting on the hardwood floor of her father’s living room looking through boxes which detailed her military career. Some of it was replicas of the medal’s she’d gotten for her service or letters she’d written from some of her deployments. But there were other things hidden inside the cardboard packages that caused her heart to clench and tears to build within her whiskey eyes.

One such thing that caused an open wound across her heart was a picture of Skylar’s unit, the smiling faces of the teammates she’d lost bringing forth a multitude of memories she wasn’t ready to experience. From the many nights drinking and getting to know each other, the life and death situations they all went through that made them more then friends.  _ They were a family _ .

There were also other pictures which documented the various people Skylar had met and befriended in her ten-year career. Some she met only once, other’s she’d been stationed with for a good few months. And one,  _ in particular _ , garners most of Skylar’s attention. The jade green eyes pulling her in and leaving her breathless as she looked over his face. Drinking in his features as though she was a starving woman. Joseph Leone. Or if she wanted to get technical -  _ Emmie-Jo’s father _ .

Skylar could easily picture the day this photo had been taken, it was nearly three years ago and exactly ten minutes after she’d announced she was pregnant. It had been a surprise to them both, given at the time they were not a couple in any shape or form. They had simply slept together as a way to feel something, to let go of the grief that had shrouded them from the failed mission the two had undertaken.  _ She loved him _ , in a way she hadn’t loved anyone since Paul, but she carefully kept them at the friends. She wasn’t ready to hand her heart over, so friends it was.

And given they were friends and had both foolishly believed that they could raise their child to know them both without any strings attached. She and Joseph had believed their friendship was strong enough to survive such a thing and maybe she had just been blind, wanting to cling to something that didn’t leave her feeling dead inside, but she had believed him. She had allowed his soft words to soothe the ragged edges of her doubt and allow her to believe they had a chance.

_ She was a god damn fucking idiot _ .

Not even two days after this picture was taken, Joseph had been deployed for an overseas mission that would take no more than five months. Just enough time for him to be home and help her in the final stages of her pregnancy. But instead of coming home, overjoyed at the prospect of being a father. He had come home in a wooden box, and she went through the pregnancy alone.

And the day she’d seen Joseph’s eyes staring back at her from the face of their daughter had quite literally killed the last shred of love in her heart. From that moment on, she’d sworn that she wouldn’t get close to anyone else. Skylar knew she wouldn’t be able to handle anyone else leaving. It was why she made out that she couldn’t remember just who Emmie-Jo’s father was, to stop everyone asking questions.

But more, she couldn’t handle the fact she’d have to revisit that gaping wound and explain their relationship or the reason why he wasn’t there helping her raise their daughter. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that one day she’d have to tell Emmie-Jo about her dad. That would be the only time she’d be willing to open that wound. But for anyone else, she just couldn’t do it.

And in typical fashion for her, she’d been unable to keep her promise, given that over two and a half years after vowing she wouldn’t let anyone else close. She’d gone and sunk her teeth into Paul’s neck and solidified their mating in a way that was even tighter than a marriage. And now, she was opening up her lacerated and weeping heart to the male she had been trying to forget for as long as she’d been running.

_ Yeah, she really didn’t make shit easy on herself. _

Smiling a sad tear-filled smile she sets the picture aside, knowing as much as she wanted to bury it once more. It didn’t belong to her anymore. It was her daughter’s only link to her father - both the picture and the dog tags Skylar had hidden away that had once graced Joseph’s neck. A gift from his mother for their child. And given that Skylar herself had just lost her father, she knew, she couldn’t take this way from her daughter. She couldn’t be selfish. So instead she’d place the picture with the dog tags and wait till Emmie-Jo was older, before telling her of the amazing man her father was.

Whilst pretending she couldn’t remember in the meantime. Because well, Skylar was a masochist and didn’t like making anything easier on herself. Plus, Joseph in a way was just another scar that Skylar carried. And like the others she buried down deep, this was one she kept to herself. Who knows maybe one day she’d tell Paul about him, if just to talk about him, or maybe she wouldn’t.

Things with him were still up in the air - as whilst to the outside world they were settling into their mating with an ease that came with every mated pair. To them alone, there was still the gaping wounds that came from their anger. Paul didn’t trust her and was waiting for the moment that she’d run again, she could see it shining in his eyes every time he looked at her. And Skylar, she was wondering when he’d leave her too. Just like everyone else had left her in some form.

It wasn’t productive for a cohesive relationship -  _ she knew that _ \- yet she didn’t know exactly how they were supposed to move past it all. They could talk till they were blue in the face about the things that were settling between them. Yet it would be actions that proved the truth. And all Skylar could do was show Paul she wasn’t going anywhere, just as he had to show her.

It was a precarious delicacy that was settling between them and yet nothing but time would fix it. It also didn’t help they were fighting a war right in the middle of it all. That really put a fucking kink into the major working of things but Skylar had never had anything be easy so why did she expect it to be easy now. 

Shaking her head softly she repacks the boxes containing her military belongings and sets them off to the side, she would need to find somewhere for them. Giving her whole living arrangements were up in the air too. She wasn’t completely sure if she was heading back to La Push or she would be staying in Colorado. She was just thankful that the Blackwater Pack was flexible with that issue. They were nomadic by nature, they weren’t bound to their land like the Quileute’s and as long as they came when called, the pack ran cohesively.

It was one of the reasons Skylar could go in the military, why some of the others had jobs in various states. They didn’t believe in locking people in once place, and given the sheer size of the pack, it meant there weren’t any true issues involving someone not being around - a good few somebody’s was. Add onto that fact, the knowledge that she had mastered how to run from La Push to Colorado in just under an hour, meant as Alpha, she would never be too far away.

But that was just another check on the long-ass list that was building in her head.

Pushing away from the boxes she congeals back to her full-frame, stretching her arms above her head she takes pleasure from the way her bones crack into place and the tension that had previously bled into her frame disappears. Sitting on the floor wasn’t productive, not even when one was a shifter. Easing out all of her taut muscles, her head snapping towards the front door as it almost flies off its frame. The wooden panel soon revealing the panting form of Paul and Mitchell.

Skylar tilts her head as she waits for the two of them to catch their breath, a smirk building on her lips as she looks over the way the two of them were leant on each other for balance as they work to drag much-needed oxygen into their complaining lungs. The way the two of them stood, hands clasped on each others shoulders as sweat slowly drips down their chests spoke of the closeness they’d formed in the time her and Paul had been in Colorado.

_ One would be forgiven for thinking they were blood brothers _ .

“Now, is there a reason you both nearly broke the door?.” her words are gentle and yet filled with the alpha bass the seemed to drip into her tone every time she talked to a member of her pack.

Skylar had found since becoming one herself, she could understand why Sam’s words had always seemed so authoritative. It was hard to squander down that part of yourself, it was always there, always ready to react at the smallest instance. Even Skylar found herself making each sentence a compelling statement - even without trying.

Though she was working her ass off to prevent it.

A brow hitches high on her face as both males take their time in answering but she waits it out with a practised patience as she watches Mitchell work through his words. Paul himself looked as though he was finding the right way to voice whatever it is they really needed to tell her. So she’d wait them out if only to know why the house nearly lost a damn door.

“We found ‘em,  _ boss _ . But there’s a small issue.” Mitchell starts, his eyes soon snapping from hers to a rather interesting point on the floor.

“And that is?.” she asks softly. 

“They seem to be co-ordinating a new attack. We could see them planning something. And well, there is also the small thing of ....” Mitchell trails off, his eyes cutting to Paul.

“It seems as though at least three of them followed your scent trail to Forks.” Paul mutters but she hears every word.

There couldn’t have been anything worse Paul could have spoken in that moment, the moment his sentence falls off those decadent lips she felt the blood freeze in her veins. Every maternal gene in her body willing to propel her forward and into the woods heading towards La Push and her daughter. It was only the knowledge that her daughter was safe with her mother that kept her footed in place. Staring down her pack member and mate as she fought to contain her beast.

Instead she calls on her military training and starts to plan a cause of action, taking everything the two males had spoken and sorting it into plans of action. Her feet starting a paced pattern as she works it all over. Finding the scenarios that made sense but also forming a plan B should everything go tits up like it was no doubt prone to do.

“Mitchell, I want you, Jacoby and Cole to monitor the feline fuckers. Keep a track of their movements, how many move at one time and also see if you can get a count of their numbers.” she recites turning to look at him. “I’ll send three to relieve in you a few hours.” 

Her team mate nods and heads back out the door - luckily shutting it quieter than he opened it - as she returns to her pacing motions. Her lips forming quiet mutters as she talks herself through everything. She knew the scenario that would work best and yet she was scared to reach out and grab it. Mostly because of the last shred of fear that clung to her emotions. Yet, what other option did she really have.

“Paul.” she says turning to look at him with a soft sigh. “I need you to reach out to Sam, inform him of the threat that could potentiall come his way. And see if he can extend his patrols to the Forks border, But tell him not to attack if he doesn’t need too.  _ We don’t need two packs at war with these fuckers _ .” 

Paul nods and yet she could see a thousand words swimming inside those obsidian eyes. She didn’t blame him, she wasn’t exactly being forthcoming with her thoughts, nor was she doing well with the news that the felines had even gotten near her daughter. And yet, words right now were not what she wanted to speak. Rather she wanted to be out there, dealing with them.

Instead, she reaches for her phone, her fingers clipping away steadily as she opens up a new message, yet before she can even type a sentence she receives one in return. The simple sentence of ‘ _ We’re on our way _ ’ allowing a tendril of stress to bleed away.

Skylar hadn’t wanted to involve Peter. Not even after the fact he was the one who had warned her war was coming, this was a shifter war and getting a vampire involved was just asking for trouble. But right now she was struggling on how she was supposed to keep everyone together. And she would - rather begrudgingly admit - that she needed someone who had fought in supernatural wars. She needed the vampires’ guidance.

Mentally she puts money on just which member of her pack would attempt to take a chunk out of Peter’s sparkly ass, she was torn between it being Cole and herself. Though Paul would definitely be someone to be considered as she knew his stance on vampires was firmly in the ‘ _ hell no _ ’ category.

And whilst she wanted to soothe that maelstrom before it became a full-fledged storm - she also had to think of her pack. They couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. And if Peter helped her make that a truth and a proven fact. Then she’d take it.

“We’re going to have some visitors.  _ Vampires _ .” 

She offers the words in a clipped tone that was reminiscent of her military stance, the hauntings of ‘yes sir’ ringing loudly and for a moment she allows nostalgia to fill her lungs. She missed the ease that came with following other orders. Of allowing them to think of all the scenarios and plans and her only job being a part of the puzzle that made sure it all came true.

It was easy, and she missed that. But nothing in life was easy.  _ Rather it was a pain in the ass _ .

“Are you sure about this?.” 

There was nothing condescending in his tone, rather he was just making sure she knew what she was doing. Something she’s thankful for, yet still, his words pull a chuckle from her lips as she shakes her head.

“I’m never sure about Peter. The ass tap dances across my every last nerve. But he is the one who warned me about the war, and right now I need all the fighters I can get to make sure we all come out of this alive.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_A / N: Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- So I was writing the third chapter to the full-length version of Internal Reflections when this decided to hammer away in my head and I decided to be nice and power it out for you. And on the same day I updated Twin Hearts - aren’t I nice.
> 
> Anyway, I hope this answered a few unanswered questions about who Emmie-Jo’s father is, and why Skylar has been so shut off to love. She was in love with Emmie-Jo’s dad and he left her - so she’s scared Paul is going to do the same. And well, given everything with the betrayal, Sam, her family and other things. It created a whole clusterfuck of problems.
> 
> Anyways….back to writing Bella/Jasper. But I hope you all enjoyed this quickly written chapter.


	23. Lectures and decisions.

**\- Colorado Springs, Colorado -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

Skylar knew in complete retrospect that the current situation was not one that should be laughed at, there was no humour to be found within the fact that right now the pack was in the middle of a war. Despite this knowledge, she couldn’t help but be amused at the current events that were unfolding in front of her and it was taking every ounce of her strength -  _ as well as biting in the inside of her cheek _ \- to not let out the peals of laughter she really wanted too.

Then again, what did she expect by putting Peter in a room with shifters? The vampire in question was perfectly at ease as he riled up the volatile control of her wolves, a part of Skylar knew he was testing them. He was learning their limits of control as he slowly assessed everything that needed to happen. Cole had already filled him in on everything they had learnt and now it was simply a strategizing afternoon.

For her though, she couldn’t help but feel as though a rock had settled in her stomach. Since the moment she had met Peter’s eyes, she knew something was coming. Or more accurately. She knew she was about to get her ass chewed out by the vampire in question. Normally she’d have shucked it off, handed him a beer and worked her ass off on distracting him. But there was a determination shining in his red orbs that she knew she wouldn’t be escaping this confrontation.

_ Not after introducing Paul _ .

She had spent the rest of the day before explaining her friendship with the vampire - though she knew her words hadn’t quite hit the mark. After all, how could she explain that in a way Peter was her older brother? He was one of the few people she let chew her out and she listened to each of his words. Okay, there were times she didn’t listen or she didn’t actually act on the shit he said in regards to her personal life. But the sentiment was the same.

Shaking her head she pushes off the counter she’d been leant against and heads out the door. Climbing up onto the railing of the back porch she rests her arms over her thighs clasping her hands together as she allows her eyes to drag in everything that was around her. Trying - to no avail - to clear her mind. Something that honestly was a stupid endeavour as since finding that picture of Joseph, she hadn’t stopped thinking.

But it wasn’t just Joseph that was playing on her mind, it was also the other shifters who wanted her dead. They knew a Ragnulf was still alive, meaning if they wanted the territory then they had to take her life. It was one of the oldest plays in the book and one she was growing fucking tired of.

For a moment, Skylar was jealous of the La Push shifters. They were cut off from this type of shit and had kept to themselves. But for the other shifters that were out there, they were subjected to the laws and constant wars that came with being a part of the supernatural. Wars for territory, wars for mates and anything else that might crop up. A dark selfish part of her mind, wished she’d stayed in La Push. Allowed herself to shift within its borders and become wrapped up in the safety it offered.

But then the other - she wished she could call it rational - part of her mind reminded her that she probably wouldn’t have joined the military, met Joseph or had Emmie-Jo. She had sacrificed safety for a well-lived life, which she guessed was a good compromise in the full scheme of things. Though, that was a debate for her therapist because right now, she was long overdue a talk.

She barely shifts as the screen door behind her opens and closes with a soft click, the silence from inside the house letting her know the others had left and now she was alone with Peter. 

“Ya’ve gone an dug ya’self a good one Sug.” Peter sighs as he settles on the railing next to her.

The chill of his skin clashes against her shifter heat and it feels welcome as she cuts her eyes to the side to see the vampire already looking at her.

“I’m guessing you’re not talking about the war?.” 

There’s a hint of resignation in her voice, she knew this was coming so she might as well face it head-on. And maybe a small part of her wanted to know what he thought. She’d heard him with Paul when she’d been on the phone with her mom and Emmie-Jo. She had heard as Paul explained their story from his point of view and she would have had to be deaf to hear the sigh of annoyance that had bled from Peter as it played out.

Things had only gotten worse after Sonny had interjected with his part and even Cole had commented. Peter having charmed the three of them into telling him what he needed to know. Though Skylar had to give him props on how he’d gone about it, saying he needed to know to help her out had definitely loosened the lips of those around him. Or maybe all of them were just desperate for Skylar to sort her head out so she could guide them properly. At this stage in time, it was a guessing game.

And Peter had all the answers. Or so his ego would lead anyone to believe.

“Oh nah, tha’ war is tha’ easy part. Tha’ complete an utter fuck up tha’ is ya life is wha’ I’m talking ‘bout.” 

“This should be interesting.” she quirks, her lip curling in a condescending smirk as she turns to look away from the vampire.

Peter was used to her actions though, of how she became defensive when anyone would comment on her personal life. She could be a wolf, she could be a soldier and do everything to perfection. But talking about her personal life and listening to criticism. That she hadn’t learnt - Layla could attest to that much.

“A’ight ya wanna play tha’ game do ya. Answer me this, are you ever gonna let ya anger go for ya’ fella.” he starts, holding a hand up as she went to interrupt. “Now tha’ one thing you gotta remember here Sug, when it comes ta imprintin’ he ain’t got much of a choice in tha’ matter. He got lucky though by imprintin’ on tha woman he was already in love with. A woman, ya gotta remember, tha’ fucked off on ‘im with no explanation. Leavin’ him bound under tha’ weight of a alpha order.” 

Why did she not rip his throat out again?. Shaking away her less than nice thought, she brings her eyes back towards Peter as she listens to him.

“Anotha’ thing ‘ya have ta think on ‘ere. Ya fella never left ‘ya, not like ya been thinkin’. Not even all this shite wit’ ya papa. He’s been righ’ ‘ere where ‘ya need him.” 

Of course, Peter had a point. Paul hadn’t left - she did. She was the one who kept running for ten years, even after she realised the whole imprinting rule. She just shoved it down into a dark corner of her mind and carried on running. Not once thinking about Paul and what her choices were doing to him. He had told her as much in their whole discussing feelings.

“Tha’ one wit’ the history of leavin’ Sug, is you,” he says clicking his tongue as he reaches into his pocket for his cigarettes. “Ya’ fella ain’t got nuthin’ ta prove on tha’ front. And no doubt he’s wonderin’ just when ya going ta fuck off again. He’s probably expectin’ it.” 

Handing them out to her she takes one and places it between her lips as he lights the end. Silence envelopes them as she thinks over Peter’s words. Once more the southern asshole had cut straight through her every thought and hit the root of her issues. Skylar always had so much shit going on inside of her head that sometimes even she struggled to sort them all out, and in pranced this sparkly ass and with a few sentences, cuts them all in half.

“And my dear mystic meg, how do you predict me to fix this.” she teases though she did want to know.

“Ya’ young Sug, unlike most ya’ve got the chance to fix this shit and calm tha’ fuck down. Ya, not the angry kids ya once were. Ya’ both adults an’ it’s time ta’ think like one.” he shrugs “Ya both lost ya choices ta imprintin’ an a alpha who didn’ think, an ya’ family fucked ya, I ain’ going ta argue tha. But Sug, it’s time ta grow up.” 

He blows the smoke out of his nose and Skylar simply concentrates on her own, his words churning inside of her and dissecting every little thing she’d thought in the last few weeks since she’d once more walked back into Paul’s life. She was interwoven into the issues, whereas Peter was on the outside and not to mention about ten times her age, so she was willing to take it in.

Skylar guessed this time she was willing to listen only because she had been torn in half so far, different parts of her getting torn in different ways as everyone reached out wanting a part of her. She was learning that nothing was hers anymore. It was everyone’s around her. She had to be something for her mate, for her daughter, for her family, for her pack, for her tribe. It left her feeling tired and as though there was nothing left. She was running on fumes and yet had to keep finding energy from somewhere.

That somewhere being her inner strength, but how could she do that when she was running on fumes. 

“Growing up is the easy part. Fixing the shit I’ve broken is where the issue starts.” 

A hard snort ricochets inside Peter’s chest and drags her attention back to him. “Maybe if ya’ didn’ make shit so darn complicated it wouldn’ be. All ya’ve done Major is complicate shit tha’ doesn’ need ta be complicated. Take the little lady’s papa, you’ve been pretendin’ ya don’ remember ‘im. An yet everyone and their momma knows you’ve got a memory tha stores everythin’. All ya had ta say was he was a fellow marine who died on duty, done an done.” 

_ Because he made it sound so darn easy _ .

“You doin’ tha same wit’ your fella. Ya keep holdin’ tha past over both of ya heads. Tha past is ova Major, it ain’t gonna do either of ya a lick of good to keep holdin’ on ta it. An anotha thing ya gotta think on Sug, tha’ fella of yours has takin’ tha baby of yours under his wing without complaint. He hasn’ held tha over ya head. So stop holdin tha’ past over his, when ya’ve made more damage than he has.” 

“You’re an asshole,” she mutters, her words wrapped in both a condescending but a heartfelt tone.

Peters’ shoulder nudges against hers and she smirks. The vampire understanding that he had her thinking. That he’d gotten under her walls and penetrated the shit that was bugging her. Turning her head, she looks inside the screen door as she hears Jacoby and Cole moving around. A sigh drifting off her lips as she shakes her head.

“Any idea what I’m supposed to do here. I’m fucking lost on how to be alpha.” 

If she had to put a name to the look on Peter’s face, she would say that he was borderline wishing to reach over and slap her around the face. He probably would have done it if it wasn’t for the fact she’d hit him back and that wasn’t productive for either of them. Instead, he manages to contain the urge and tilts his head as he looks at her.

“Sugar, have ya completely forgotten how ta be a soldier since having tha’ little lady.” 

“What is that supposed to mean ?.” Yeah, even a blind person could see the incredulous look that passes over her face.

“Ya, tryna do everythin’ ya’self. An it’s burnin ya out. But ya don’t have to be the whole answer in this situation.” She watches idly as he lights up another cigarette. “Now Sugar before ya get ya panties in a bunch, know ‘m saying this from a good place okay. Now ya daddy knew how ta run this pack with his eyes closed. And tha’s because he’d been doin’ it for ages. Now you, ya brand new and for tha’ reason you’re still finding ya footing. Which means ya not going to be able to do it all by ya’self.” 

His tongue clicks as he thinks over his next words. “Now, ya lucky with the fact tha ya’ve got members of tha pack tha’ served under ya daddy ta help ‘ya out. Use them Sug, let them guide ya through this shitstorm. Just like in the army ya don’t have ta do things alone. Not here, find ya advisors or ya guides and let them help ya through it all.” 

In theory, Peter’s words were right, Skylar knew that. She could sense the truth hidden beneath every syllable. But she had a hard time accepting them. This was her fathers legacy, it was her grandfathers legacy and so forth. She was the first-born child that was born to lead this pack and she didn’t want to let anyone down. There was a part of her that believed if she leant on someone else, she was letting her dad down.

Yet she also knew that was born from the fact of how many mistakes she’d made in the past. She didn’t want to make anymore, she didn’t want to let anyone else down. Though a deep-rooted part of her knew that not letting anyone in, not letting anyone share the burden that was currently resting on her shoulders was another way she was letting them down.

She was burning herself out, she was toeing the line between staying sane and falling apart. Skylar hadn’t needed Peter to tell her that, to outline everything that she was currently doing to herself and her pack. Hell, she didn’t even have a second in command, Ryker had taken the role temporarily but she hadn’t yet voiced if it was a permanent thing.

Hell, she’d even been avoiding the council because she didn’t want them sticking her nose into the business of her pack. She shrouded her avoidance under the umbrella of grief and they had bought the lie with ease. But now she could see that she had once more made a mistake. She had avoided using everything she had to offer, from surrounding herself with those who could guide her through this.

“Cheers Pete.” 

If the vampire had an idea what she was thanking him over, he was better than she was. Because right now she wasn’t sure if she was thanking him for getting her thinking, for organising her thoughts for her or for simply pointing out her flaws. Either way, the words passed her lips and she meant them.

Slipping off the railing she heads back inside, a soft smile lifting her lips as she notes Jacoby passed out on the couch. His snores echoing around the room and in the distance, she could also hear Cole and Paul snoring. Standing in the middle of the kitchen she allows the feeling of the three of them to soak into her. The relaxed feeling they were giving off, soothing the sting in her veins and for a moment she was at peace.

Moving silently she reaches up into the highest cupboard in the cupboard and grabs the two bottles of whiskey that her father had hidden there weeks ago. Grabbing two glasses from the draining board she heads back out to the back porch. The screen door clattering silently behind her. Wordlessly she hands over one of the glasses and bottles to Peter as she settles back beside him.

That had been an eye-open for her. The fact that vampires could consume alcohol and smoke a cigarette. Peter turned everything she knew about vampires on its head and taught her the true ins and outs. Though she had to admit, finding out that vampires could get drunk faster than shifters was just outright hilarious and she’d made fun of it for a good five minutes.

But even with the lingering humour of that memory in her mind, her thoughts easily trail back to the discussion she’d just had with Peter. If discussion was the right word to use, given it was simply an unobstructed view into the shit she was concealing inside. Someone on the outside looking in and pulling forth everything she had buried, everything she was placating inside her thoughts.

Skylar had a lot of thinking ahead of her, and it wasn’t something she could truly ignore as right now she was her pack’s weakest link. All of her personal shit that was stirring up inside of her was stopping her from being a strength for her pack. It was stopping her from being a strength for her mate and child. She couldn’t bury any of it anymore. She had to face it.

Peter was right in the regards it was time for her to grow up, to let the stupid veil of youth fall away and sort out her emotions. She also had a lot of shit to sort out personally if she hoped of sorting the storm she found herself astray in.

It was strange how to the outside world she looked put together, even in the military she appeared as though she was someone who was completely at ease with the situations around her. But internally, she dissected every little thing, she tore it apart, built it up and tended to completely ignore the blatant and obvious facts about herself. But to the outside world, she was calm, efficient and capable of following every order that was handed to her.

God, it was strange how she could get on a plane and be stationed in some war-torn country and not once worry about anything but getting the mission done. But give her a few weeks in her home town and she was falling apart at the seams. A few weeks of facing her past head on and she was losing her well-worked control, she was almost reminiscent of that girl she’d been the last time she had been home.

“Look Major, the shit tha’s going on in ya head. It’s a long standing problem. Ya can’t solve it in a day. Righ’ nah, ya pack needs ya. And dontcha worry sug, ’m here ta help where ‘m needed.” 

She nods idly as she forgoes the glass and drinks straight from the bottle. Her thoughts are too busy churning as she sorts her thoughts into two lists. The stuff she needed to handle now, and stuff that could be handled at a later date. As Peter was right, yes she had stuff going on, but she couldn’t solve it in a day. Not when she was someone who was highly stuck in her ways.

She’d had a lecture,  _ now it was time for decisions _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_A / N: Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- So I am completely amused at how Peter - became the voice of your reviewers - he filled Skylar in on the things you’ve been shouting at her in the reviews. It wasn’t planned but it’s my way of letting you all know I do read each and every review. And well, Peter is the only blunt bastard that could outdo Skylar’s stubbornness. _So this chapter is for all of you !!_
> 
> And yeah this might be a little bit of an indulgence chapter. Someone getting Skylar to think and sort out her thoughts and get started towards fixing things.


	24. Baby steps.

**\- Colorado Springs, Colorado -**

**\- Skylar -**

**\- October -**

Sometimes there were things in life that came back to bite you in the ass when you’d prolonged them long enough. And for Skylar, one of those things was her involvement with the council. They weren’t as rigid as the council in La Push but they did like to be appraised of what went down with the pack as well as notified of when any members weren’t in Colorado. Yeah, the pack was nomadic and members came and went as long as it pleased them, but the council liked to know where all its ducks were.

It was something Skylar’s great-grandfather, four times removed, had put into place when he was both chief and alpha. His daughter after this death and her ascension carrying it on, then her son and right down to Skylar’s father. Now that she was Alpha, and by default chief, it was her job to help keep that streak going. Of course, Skylar had thrown the damn rule book out the window and assigned her father's widow - Leiah - as acting chief whilst she found her feet as alpha. Which now meant the council had a bug up its ass.

It was taking everything within her to keep her legendary temper under control, and even more, restraint to stay within her human skin. The only reason she was managing it was the soft hand of her brother settled on her shoulder. The strength of her baby brother seeping through that little touch and helping her to give off a facade of calm as she listened to one of the council members rip into her. But she needed to do this, to take her licks as they were thrown her way and start to fix things.

It was currently the third thing on her to-list that she’d been putting into place since her talk with Peter. In between that she’d actually slept given she was running on fumes. And once she had settled her nerves she’d officially named Ryker as her second in command. Everyone had been shocked she’d done it, given Paul’s status as Alpha’s mate technically made him the second in command. On top of that, there was also Sonny who bore the Ragnulf surname.

But Skylar needed Ryker, he was a strategist, able to come up with a plan of attack on the fly and given the dual attacks they had to dole out in the coming days. She needed that, but more than that, Ryker had been shifting for five years longer than her, meaning he had more experience and was someone who could guide her when she fell. He did not once care that she was his boss, had a title handed upon her the moment she shifted. He was there to help her, always had been.

And finally,  _ she was reaching out for that help _ .

Her whiskey eyes slant to her opposite side, where Ryker was currently sitting, his tall frame relaxed as he stared down the council members. His own temper was far more contained than hers but she could see the shadows in his eyes, the shadows that showed that it was slowly burning in the background. Reaching over she settles her hand on his bicep, gaining his attention and she shakes her head. If she couldn’t lose hers, it was best that her second, didn’t lose his either.

Though she was warmed by the knowledge that he was willing to go to bat for her, that the way the council was berating her leadership so far was something he didn’t take lightly. But she was a big girl, she could own up to her problems. It was part of growing up after all.

_ She was just doing it a little late _ .

Standing up, she raises her hand and silences the oncoming lectures. Her eyes trailing across each member, lingering a few moments to make sure they were looking at her. As her eyes meet Leiah’s she could see pride swimming with them and she offers her stepmother a small smile before lowering her hand. A sigh falling from her lips before she steadies herself.

“Look I get that I've not done things the way they should be done. I’ve shut the council out since the moment I became alpha, and I’ve ignored your warnings on how the pack is run. But I was struggling to accept my new role, I was haunted by things that happened in the past.” she starts.

Lowering her eyes in submission she looks at her feet. “I’ve been struggling with the weight of the lineage I am now upholding. But I am here today to apologise for all my wrongdoings. I, Skylar Ragnulf, apologise for being a bitch and refusing your help.  _ I’m sorry _ .” 

A hand laces with hers and she flicks her eyes back to look at Sonny, offering her baby brother a smile as she squeezes his fingers in gratitude. That was something else she was working on, being the big sister that her baby brother needed. He and Mina had put their wedding on hold so Sonny could help her deal with those that took their father, and she’d even vowed at her father’s gravestone that she’d guide her baby brother. Yet she’d put him into the pack’s hands whilst she grieved alone. Though she had to remember her brother had lost a father too and she was supposed to help him.

She would help him. Guide him, be there when he fell. Like a big sister should.

“Skylar.” Leiah’s soft voice has her head raising as she notes the soft smile on the council members faces. “You have nothing to apologise for. We may have just listed your sins, but we are thankful you are finally here and reaching out to us. This is your legacy Skylar, and we are here for you. Always will be.” 

“Thank you.” She comments sincerely as she lets her eyes trail to every council member.

Each of them nods at her and she finds it weird to see the soft smiles on their faces given the ass ripping they’d just given her. So either they were two-faced, or something else was going on here. Either way, she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth and sets off informing them of the changes to the pack. From Sonny joining, Paul being connected and Ryker now being her second in command.

Skylar also fills them in on the progress with hunting the felines and the information they’d found out so far. She couldn’t give them a definitive plan of attack, given that was still being formed but she could give them enough.  _ She hoped _ .

“What is your plan regarding the fact the felines have traced you back to La Push,” Leiah asks softly, pride dancing in her eyes.

“Paul,  _ my mate _ , has taken on the role as a delegate between myself and the alpha of the La Push pack at my own persuasion. As such we have a meeting tomorrow with the alpha,  _ Sam Uley _ , to decide if and how the Quileute’s are to be involved.” 

It had just been another puzzle piece she’d put into place. Paul was connected to both packs, one by lineage and one by mating and in her mind, he was the best ‘tool’ to bring the two together. Yes, she had the birthright of Alpha of that pack. But right now she was struggling to command one, she didn’t want to lead another. So Paul was the best person to help that come to fruition.

She had seen something in his eyes as she’d asked him. It was pride mixed with relief that she was finally including him. But also, that she was also finally settling into her role, as though he too was waiting for her to decide what she needed and the roles that everyone was to play. She had simply leaned up and pressed her lips against his to silence any of his words. Skylar was just glad he’d not given up on her, even if she’d given him many reasons to do just that.

Yet as Peter had said, he’d never left her. The one with that history was her. And yet Paul had stayed, even when he said he couldn’t do it anymore. He was by her side, he loved her daughter or at the very least cared for her.  _ It was up to her to fix things now _ .

“Are you sure it’s the right course of action?.” Her godfather asks and she nods.

“Yes, my daughter is currently residing within La Push with my mother, Sonny’s mate is also within those boundaries. As such, I believe the best course of action is to involve the Quileute’s in some way, given they are offering protection to my future sister in law.  _ And the pack’s future alpha _ .” 

It was a calculated risk, reminding them that Emmie-Jo was the future alpha. As she knew a lot rode upon that, even the council forever thought about the continued lineage of the pack and as such, Emmie-Jo’s protection was one of those that was high on the list.

“And what about the other wolves?.” One of the council members asks, bringing her attention back to the meeting. “What’s happening with them?.” 

A dark smirk flits across her lips and she can see a few of the council members cringe at the sight of it. “By the end of the week, they won’t be a problem. They will learn this territory is ours. And we will defend it.” 

The hidden motive behind that strike was, once the wolves were dealt with. It left just the felines. Meaning they only had to concentrate on the plan of attack for those, instead of shifting between how to attack the wolves and how to attack the damn cats. That and they knew they could handle the wolves - they’d done it before - it was the damn kitty’s that were causing the issues and were the ones who had taken her father from her.

The rest of the meeting goes pretty much the same and she’s amused when she remembers that just a few short hours ago she had been absolutely scared shitless to stand here in front of the elder members of the tribe. Paul and Sonny had spent a handful of hours the previous night reassuring her that it would be okay, that they’d listen to her. The words had been a comfort, even if momentarily, though the comfort had done nothing to calm the sprint her heart undertook.

“Is there anything else you’d like to say, Alpha Ragnulf?.” The eldest council member asks. 

Skylar’s attention snapping to her, and seeing a pearl of age-old wisdom in her eyes mixed with a small undercurrent of pride. It made a rock settle in Skylar’s stomach but she ignores it as best she could. Yes, she was glad to see that so far in her time as Alpha she had made people proud of her, though she still wasn’t used to seeing it. To accept it, not after the mistakes she’d made.

“Yes, there is,” she says steadily as she clears her throat. “There is an age-old law from the first formation of the pack, one that was once blanketed over me and my brother. The law that states a member of the pack who grows up within another tribe or away from our lands, should never know about their destiny,  _ their potential for the shift _ .” 

A murmur of nods ripple around the room and Sonny grips her hand tighter. This was something the two were partners in. Their bond solidified by a shared history and they were both resolute in making sure no one else followed in their footsteps. It was the one thing that Skylar was absolutely sure about, this decision was one she had been discussing with their father, and now she hoped that her new position meant she could make this wish a reality.

If not,  _ she’d fight for it either way _ .

“I grew up never knowing my destiny as an alpha, as a wolf. And as such, I believe it is the reason I am struggling with my current choices and the weight that is settled on my shoulders. As such,  _ I would like to petition that the law be abolished _ . My child and other children of the pack should be informed of their destiny and trusted to withstand the beliefs of our people, no matter where it is that they grow up. So that when the shift occurs, they are better prepared for their destiny and the proud lineage to which they are a part of.” 

Her voice carries around the room, her tone showing she wasn’t allowing any opening for doubt into her decision. She would allow for leeway on many things, but not this. She had spent eighteen years of her life blind to what was coming her way, and then when she shifted it was like she was drowning with no potential of seeing land. Or least it could have been, luckily she’d grown up with the Quileute legends, yet clothes didn’t have the luxury.

Plus, Skylar outright refused to be an alpha that lied to her pack. She’d lived with that damage. She’d been hurt by it and she refused to allow others to wallow in her pack. No, she would change things slowly, making a difference to the pack that could only come from her own experiences. Whilst she was still sorting out her inner demons, this was something she just knew.

A murmur of agreement to discuss the abolishment of the law rings around the room and she feels her breath escape her on a huge sigh, Sonny’s happiness bleeding into her and causing her heart to almost burst. Despite not wanting to feel or see the pride in others, right now she was proud of herself.

_ She’d made the right step _ .

After the ending of the meeting, she walks back out with Ryker and Sonny and starts the ten-mile walk back to her father's house. None of them in a rush and enjoy the easy atmosphere around them, the three discussing the meeting and how they both thought it had gone better than planned. The three pack mates also discuss the patrols later and who’s turn it was to spar with Peter. The vampire in question had decided to make sure the other pack members were as up to speed as Skylar was in hand to hand combat.

Skylar though, knew the pack was just enjoying getting to hit a vampire in the face, repeatedly.

“Oh, Sonny. If you want to come with us to La Push. Be here early, we're running there so we’re leaving about eight-ish. Ryker you’ve got the pack for the day.” 

Separating from her packmate and brother after discussing the meeting with Sam and as she reaches her front door, she watches the two take off across the yard. In the distance, she could see the telltale sparkling of Peter and for a moment she’s thankful the land was so private as she wasn’t sure she had an excuse viable to cover that up.

Shaking her head on a laugh she walks in, her smile growing as she meets the tired gaze of Paul. Her steps automatically take her into his arms. As she leans against his chest she inhales deeply, allowing his calming scent to build on the happiness she felt in her veins and surround her in a cocoon of warmth.

“How did the meeting go?.” He murmurs into her hair causing a shiver to run down her spine at the huskiness of his sleep-addled voice.

“Good.” she chokes “They accepted my apology, agree with your role as mediator between the packs. Oh, and they’ve agreed to look into the abolishment of the secrecy law for those that grow up away from here.” 

Skylar wasn’t an idiot, she knew her voice was wrapped in her happiness and it was bleeding into the air around her as Paul laughs richly. His finger crooks under her chin and lifts her face and as her eyes meet his obsidian gaze she isn’t surprised to see the pride also shining there. Yet it’s the level of love that has her breathe stuttering in her throat. It was still surprising to see that after all this time he loved her. But she was slowly learning to stop judging him by their shared past.

_ Yeah baby steps _ , she could do baby steps towards fixing everything.

“Told you it would go well.” he teases

“Yeah, yeah,” she growls playfully pulling away from him.

Heading into the kitchen she moves over to the fridge to grab a drink as she hears Paul wander in behind her, grabbing two bottles she throws one idly over her shoulder in Paul’s direction as she opens her own and swallows down the chilled drink. Turning, she freezes as she sees Paul stood near the kitchen table, looking over what she was doing before the meeting.

“What’s this?.” he asks curiously, opening his own bottle.

“A scrapbook, for Emmie-Jo.” Skylar sighs heading over. Reaching out she moves some of the photo’s and reveals the one of her and Joseph. “A scrapbook featuring her dad. Joseph Leone.” 

She watches Paul’s face as he reaches out and picks up the picture, a tendril of unease spreading through her skin as she notes his face is emotionless. Not even a flicker spreading over his face as he drinks in the picture, his fingers idly tapping against the bottle in his hand.

“She has his eyes,” he comments softly. “From the looks of it, his cheeky smile too.” 

“Yes, she does.” her voice taking on a wistful tone. “That smile always had me forgiving him. Even if he woke my ass up at three am simply because he wanted company.” 

“Did you love him?.” The question has her choking on her tongue, Paul smoking as he turns to look at her. “I’m not jealous, trouble. I just want to know about the man who meant something to you. Even I can see in this picture that the two of you were close.” 

Every part of her rebelled. She didn’t want to have this conversation with Paul. She didn’t want to blur the lines between Paul and Joseph. She would rather keep them truly separated but one look in Paul’s eyes and she can see that there isn’t any jealousy. He truly was curious.

“Yeah, I did.” 

“I’d like to know more about him one day.” He comments setting the picture back down. “He seems like he was a good man.” 

Before she can stop it, a tear trails it’s way down her face. A few more followed soon after. Paul moves automatically, setting down his water before pulling her into his arms. Soothing words fluttering off his lips and into her ears as she lets lose the tears she’d been burying for three years nearly. She’d not grieved Joseph’s loss. How could she when she saw his eyes every day.

“He was a part of you, you both created a gorgeous little girl. I will never be jealous of that, _ I have no right to be _ .” 

Skylar doubted that, given technically she had been unfaithful. But she was done arguing. And instead lets the tears fall as she stands there, cocooned in a barrier of love. Paul’s arms stopped her from falling apart completely as she grieved the other man she loved. The father of her child.

She’s unsure how long she stands there, her tears flowing freely but soon they dry up and she simply rests her head against Paul’s shoulder as she drags in lungfuls of his scent. A deep resonating purr sounding in his chest which both soothes her and calls to the wolf inside. 

Rearing back she looks at his face, once more love and understanding swirl within those bottomless pits of midnight and she decides to welcome it. Leaning up she presses her lips against Paul’s. Her hands come to circle his neck as his tongue plunders into her mouth. Nothing about the kiss is soft, it’s demanding, it’s fire let loose and she was once more burning as she always did with him this close.

Pulling away, Skylar looked at him, her own eyes heated, she was sure. “Make me yours.”

The last time they’d come together like this, she’d been the one doing the claiming. But now, she was ready to hand herself over completely. And she needed to feel him, to feel him bringing forth a feeling only he had ever been able to induce in her, the feeling of being complete whilst burning alive. A volatile feeling.

_ But one that was completely theirs _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *i accidentally deleted this chapter when i was editing a few small things....my bad*


End file.
